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In one word NO. I have seen friends who have, and the Pain brought on to the family memebers who are innocent are not worth a roll in the sack to me. Specially when innocent children are invloved. And one Parent now moves out. The guilty party, is usually always found out, and until that time lie after lie is told. I personally don't think it is worth it. Put some of the effort and hot sex into the marriage.
You've seen friends get turned on by the THOUGHT of having an affair? Because that is what the OP asked, not actually having an affair - just fantasizing about others.
I guess I don't consider fantasizing dreaming about having an affair. I mean I do think about sex with other men who I've made up in my head, but it is so far from being grounded in reality, it's like my husband doesn't even exist in that world. It's so abstract that I don't consider thinking of it as thinking about having an affair.
People on this forum are waaay too holier-than-thou to ever admit to THINKING about having an affair. I expect a lot more posts about the poor children and destroyed families.
Personally I'm lusting after a married man right now. Does thinking about having an affair with him turn me on? Is the sky blue?
Would I ever act on it? Doubtful, but if he caught in the weakened state of mind, who knows? (but since he doesn't know about the lust in my heart, I should be safe )
So, you are in essence calling those of us who are not turned on by the thoughts of an extra marital affair liars? You seem to be mocking those of us who are guided by a moral compass and want to shield others from pain, as well as our selves.
My parents marriage was devastated by a very scandalous affair that my mother carried on with and I can guarantee you she never imagined her selfish urges could ever hurt anyone the way it hurt so many innocent bystanders. If I were to ask her today if she could change her path I could guarantee she would say yes.
So, before you begin to mock anyone try to imagine where some of us are coming from. We are not any better than anyone else but odds are we have been hurt by an affair somehow down the line.
Yep! I occasionally see some random stranger I know nothing about that tickles my fancy! At that point he is the perfect man b/c since I know nothing about him personally all he can be is what I let my big imagination run away with! But would I actually have an affair....no way!
Widows, and there isn't any affair. I just listen to their problems, change flat tires and light bulbs they can't reach when I'm there. I shoveled one of their sidewalks for free this week and helped her live in nurse get her into the car to go to the doctor. Some even give me a hug before I go! They are baffled as to why woman my age haven't snagged me? Oh well, I earned my place in the sky many times over!
Awwww....Now thats the affair I like hearing about!
I won't lie I have thought about having an affair. Especially during times when the marriage seems rough or there is that sex drought that occurs at times. But I seen what my mom went through when my dad cheated on her, and I don't want to do it. If I ever did have one, or was contemplating having one I told myself I would get a divorce, cause at the end of the day, if I were caught that is what would happen anyway
So, you are in essence calling those of us who are not turned on by the thoughts of an extra marital affair liars? I am not nor have I called anyone a liar; but I am pointing that there is a very high number of holier than thou extrememly judgmental people in this forum.
You seem to be mocking those of us who are guided by a moral compass and want to shield others from pain, as well as our selves.
There is nothing immoral about thoughts.
My parents marriage was devastated by a very scandalous affair that my mother carried on with and I can guarantee you she never imagined her selfish urges could ever hurt anyone the way it hurt so many innocent bystanders. There is a significant difference between thoughts/fantasies and acting; your mother crossed the line by acting. If I were to ask her today if she could change her path I could guarantee she would say yes.
So, before you begin to mock anyone try to imagine where some of us are coming from. We are not any better than anyone else but odds are we have been hurt by an affair somehow down the line.
I would imagine if people did not act like their world was destroyed because of an extramarital affair there wouldn't be so many "hurt innocent bystanders"
Why did your mother have an affair what needs did she have that your father didn't fulfill? People never ask or answer these questions they just wrap themselves in the "victim cloak" or self righteousness. Because nothing matters once an affiar happens. Quite frankly, I think the "victim" gets off on the attention. If you really loved the person that much you'd work on what the problems were in the relationship and move forward. Especially if there are children involved. But people are not that mature.
No, thinking about having an affair does not turn me on. But, I don't think about affairs at all. Now that it's on my mind, forget it. Life is hard enough and I'm too old for that kind of drama.
I would imagine if people did not act like their world was destroyed because of an extramarital affair there wouldn't be so many "hurt innocent bystanders"
Why did your mother have an affair what needs did she have that your father didn't fulfill? People never ask or answer these questions they just wrap themselves in the "victim cloak" or self righteousness. Because nothing matters once an affiar happens. Quite frankly, I think the "victim" gets off on the attention. If you really loved the person that much you'd work on what the problems were in the relationship and move forward. Especially if there are children involved. But people are not that mature.
Yes, blame the victim...classic response from a perpetrator
And of course the children should be penalized as well, I suppose
My mother cheated because she was selfish and self important...these are her words, not mine!
I don't think of having an affair, but I do wonder what it would be like to be with someone else and that's different. It would never lead to anything else and doesn't affect my marriage, but having only "been with" one person, I think it is only natural to wonder.
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They are baffled as to why woman my age haven't snagged me? Oh well, I earned my place in the sky many times over!
