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I wouldn't go for it. I'd say something to my wife, for sure. I would want her to say something to him, asking to pick a closer restaurant. Nevermind the total cost, a $600 dinner for four people is obsurd in my mind.
What exactly did he order for his amazing meal at Tru? Surely there must be a restaurant of the fine caliber of Tru in your city. Find it, and take him there instead. Problem solved. I feel that what your FIL really wants is a meal similar to what he had at Tru ten years ago. I don't think that it's the location that's important, just the quality of the menu.
BTW I am a foodie, and I understand the appeal of a great restaurant. But no restaurant is that unique or special.
Yes. I kind of just assumed he would pick a place where one of us lives.
But if I read you response correctly. My wife (and her family) is important to me. Suck it up and think about how much I like my wife. As requests go, this isn't outrageous.
I'm sorry but it absolutely IS outrageous. To spend 10% of your wife's annual income on a trip for a dinner which, as 20yrs points out, will be in the toilet the next day?
At the end of the day you could save some of the cost by not going yourself. Then when your inlaws ask why you aren't coming, say "We can't afford for both of us to go." That might set a few bells of reality ringing in their ears. Or perhaps not. I am really gobsmacked by the situation.
I think you just needed to vent but will go along with this, it sounds like a cultural expectation to a large extent, one you pretty much understand. Since you can afford it, just let it go.
Well said.
Yep
Thanks for letting me vent.
He's already called all his friends to tell them what we are doing.
I decided to do it before, he told his friends.
I'm doing it for my wife. I'll do it without another word.
I'll explain to my wife that I'm doing it for her. But in a nice way. With no guilt trip. Because I love her.
I'm a little confused. Are you in Columbus, Ohio? It's only 278 miles to Chicago, why don't you just drive? Go on the weekend when it won't affect work, stay one night, then drive back the next day.
I'm doing it for my wife. I'll do it without another word.
I'll explain to my wife that I'm doing it for her. But in a nice way. With no guilt trip. Because I love her.
Or maybe I'll just do it without another word.
My father has been gone for about 10 years and I'd love to have 1 more dinner with him. Even Taco Bell would be fine.
She will love you forever for being such a good man. Good things will come your way.
He's already called all his friends to tell them what we are doing.
I decided to do it before, he told his friends.
I'm doing it for my wife. I'll do it without another word.
I'll explain to my wife that I'm doing it for her. But in a nice way. With no guilt trip. Because I love her.
Or maybe I'll just do it without another word.
Thanks for the support guys.
I think given the parameters of the situation, you're being a good husband.
I'm sorry to say that this may just be one of those things that you will have to just "grin and bear it". Your wife is important to you. Her father is, well...her father and VERY important to her obviously. 3 to 5 years from now if he's passed on, both you and her will look back on this as something that she knows you didn't like but agreed to do. She will be appreciative and karma will be on your side. Also, down the road, her Mother may also recognize your sacrifice and look favorably upon you as well. I'm not saying do it for those reasons, just that those could be positive results from your actions to support and oblige your wife, especially if her father is in ill health.
First, my in laws have been very supportive of me. They are catholic and when we were engaged they even went to my Buddhist Temple. I take care of their only daughter and they have told me they appreciate it. They have driven 5 hours to sit with me when I was home from an operation and my wife could not afford time away from school. The watched our dog for a couple of weeks when we moved. When my wife graduated school they gave her a $5,000 check toward the purchase of a new car.
I get along with them although I find her Dad a little to fasinated with people with money and predudiced. It's pretty polar opposite to my Buddhist thinking. So after a couple of days around him, I'm pretty ready to go.
OK so here is the question.
Every tenth birthday my wife takes her dad out to eat anyplace he wants, on her. A nice gesture and one I approve of. Ten years ago she lived in Chicago and took him to Tru. The bill was $600. Fine, I'm still OK with that.
Well, ten years later (now) she asks him where he wants to go and he says he wants to go back to Tru for his birthday.
The problem? We no longer live in Chicago.
My wife is a resident and makes about $40,000 a year and only gets two weeks vacation. I get no vacation.
So in order to take him to Tru, we both need to take time off work, fly out there, get a hotel (they cost about $200 a night in Chicago, before taxes) and then take him out to dinner.
So it will cost us air flight, taxis, hotel fees and $800 for dinner for 4 (assuming the price has not gone up). My wife will be giving up 1/4 of her vacation and I will not get paid for two days work.
All in all, it's going to cost a little less than $4,000 for this jaunt and 1/4 of my wife's vacation.
My wife points out that it's less than the graduation present. And we can afford it, if we give up our vacation this year. And her father prob. wont see another 10 years. So it's doable.
But I'm just besides myself in anger that he would ask for this. I love my wife, so I won't tell her. I can't reason with her parents, because they will tell her.
Just what the heck am I supposed to do?
Why do you need to go? I thought this was a daddy-daughter dinner?
The costs would be cut in half if you and your mother-in-law just stayed home.
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