Weak conversational skills

[IZthe411]

I'm introverted, but I love to interact with people, especially people that I'm comfortable with. I think that I'm a good conversationalist, and I find that to the extent someone is working with me in the conversation I'll give it back. I'm not inclined to carry a convo with someone if they aren't giving me much back.

All this talking wears me out though!

[Twinkle Toes]

Originally Posted by Tkt

Hey,

Have you ever, in your life, felt like you had weak conversational skills? What do you think was the reason?
Have you managed to improve them? And how?

If you feel like this right now, how do you manage socially?

If you rather feel like you have strong conversation skills, what do you think it is due to?

Are you ever afraid of losing your skills?

Even though you talk well, are there often people you simply can't talk with?

And does the talking come very naturally, or do you often have to force conversation, and search for things to say?

What do you talk about? Things that have happened to you? Things that are happening at that moment? Things that you are going to do in the future? Other?

Thanks ahead for the responses, you would really be helping me out!

Me? NEVER!!!

One of the secrets to great conversational skills is constantly reading a variety of things so you are up to speed on what's going on in the world around you. I mean EVERYTHING - from politics to entertainment. If you have some knowledge of these and everything in between, you will always have something to talk about with everyone from intellects to simpletons.

***Edit ... In fact ... most people can't get me to shut up!!! LOL

[mtneer]

I disagree with expanding one's vocabulary as a way of helping with conversations. Seriously I think the reason some people, including myself, aren't good with conversation is because we have boring, singular lives. Think about it when people talk to me they are always discussing work, family, travels, their children or they are complaining about who they are dating. So if you have none of that going on or work where you have to sign a contract to keep quiet about your job then you have nothing to talk about.

Being well read is pointless for conversation. Nobody wants to hear someone rattle off for a hour about what they read or few people these days seem to want to discuss politics and religion is downright dangerous to discuss.

BTW- one sign of Aspergers syndrome is having difficulty in holding conversation and wanting to be a listener and not the talker. Just a thought...

[Interpol76]

Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes

Me? NEVER!!!

One of the secrets to great conversational skills is constantly reading a variety of things so you are up to speed on what's going on in the world around you. I mean EVERYTHING - from politics to entertainment. If you have some knowledge of these and everything in between, you will always have something to talk about with everyone from intellects to simpletons.

***Edit ... In fact ... most people can't get me to shut up!!! LOL

I completely agree with this. I believe excellent conversation skills have little to do with the size of your vocabulary, but the range of interests one has. I have always been complimented when it comes to my conversation skills, and I attribute that to the wide range of interests I have and keeping up to date with current world events, pop culture, etc...

[loveautumn]

I have a normal amount of interests and know a little bit about alot of things, had a pretty interesting life...but I think it is a matter of personality and something built into us, or maybe it comes from family history. I grew up in a family where no one talked that much. It's hard to change but I want to work on it more. I'm a good listener (too good really) and find I have friends who love to go on and on mostly about themselves (or their families) . I think there are two kinds of people in the world...those who are private and don't talk about themselves much and those to are very public and talk about themselves all the time. The worst are folks who talk all the time about meaningless stuff. I am more of a deep insightful person but I'm trying to keep it lighter...small talk has never been my strong suit.

I guess basically I don't trust people with information about myself all that much. But that comes from some bad experiences.

Seems most people who talk about themselves will think you are a great conversationalist because you let them do all the talking and they are really attracted to a good listener. But after awhile that gets old.

question...why are people who talk about themselves and their lives alot thought of as being "people persons" when they really aren't all that interested in others. I've seen this over and over again.

[krasa]

I consciously refuse to converse in my language simply because I prefer the language I like to speak and if my friends don't care to share my interests or can't reach a compromise "one day we speak English another day * I'd rather break up with them and I will.