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I hate being spanked. And evidently I'm in the super minority on this. I went to a Catholic School until the end of 2nd grade. So to me, it brings up some of my earliest memories; using dirty words, public humiliation and mean, middle aged Sister Patty.
So recently I went on this date with this woman and we went back to my place to "check what's on my dvr." Anyways the make outs happen and I was in my boxers on the couch. Then out of the blue I feel a stinging sensation to my backside. At first I thought I'd been bitten by a horsefly or something but then I realized I live in PHX. I look over and this woman is grinning ear to ear like she just won the NBA Championship, she was really proud of herself. I think I pretty much had a bemused look on my face, plus I stopped all activity.
Her: What?
Me: Do you want me to stop or something?
Her: No, I spanked you.
Me: I figured. Don't.
Her: What do you mean don't everyone likes being spanked.
Me: I don't like it. I went to Catholic School.
Her: What's that got to do with anything?
Then I just kind of grabbed the remote and put it on ESPN News. She kind of muttered that this was weird, and then wanted to know if we were still going to make out. At that point I made up my excuse about getting up early. I drove her home and then we faded away with a few drizzling texts.
Never being spanked again is VERY important to me. How soon do you bring this up? Is this like bring up at first date dinner dinner type importance?
Maybe she was trying to tell you something, like, she likes it.
I wouldn't like it if someone did that to me either. And I would never assume someone else would like it. That might be a convo to have later on in the relationship. I personally don't know anyone into spanking, at least nobody who talks about it. LOL.
I was angry that I felt like she marginalized my feelings. But my massive amount of break ups are neither here nor there. I was looking for a way to avoid it again. I guess a Miranda Rights of spanking is the way to go?
Marginalized your feelings? You are a man, your feelings are supposed to be marginalized.
Tell her for every 1 she gives you, she will get 5.
1) If you've never been whacked with a rubber tarp strap, it hurts into the better part of the next morning...and sure leaves an impression.
2) For, me honestly, I don't think being subtle is going to work. When I get hit it makes me white hot pissed. I gotta count to five or I'm going to spew cuss words like Mt St Helens spews ash. While I'm counting down in my head she's going to know something's wrong so there goes the subtlety.
3) I'm not into this whole spanking thing. But is the goal for it to hurt? Cuz I know playful, and I know smacking. It was like it was a goal to leave a mark on my backside? Is that the protocol for this activity?
You might need to work that out in therapy. I can't imagine how traumatic it must be to be hit by some angry, no sex getting nun! Your rage just isn't appropriate to the situation. Better to work it out and defuse your feelings.
You might need to work that out in therapy. I can't imagine how traumatic it must be to be hit by some angry, no sex getting nun! Your rage just isn't appropriate to the situation. Better to work it out and defuse your feelings.
I'm not paying for therapy so that I can be spanked. I can harnass my rage just fine, I count to 5 and it works for me. Back in HS I used to beat up everything that looked at me funny so I think I've made strides.
Adrenaline is a perfectly acceptable response to being hit.
I was thinking I was the only one that hated spanking, but I guess not. Since the other person is the one with the fetish, shouldn't it be up to them to discuss this with me beforehand, then?
If you were in a relationship with someone and they gave you a "love pat" on the butt, would that freak you out?
I joke about spanking a lot, but I don't think I could ever bring myself to spank a guy. I think I would giggle too much.
No a love pat isn't going to freak me out, but it's not going to turn me on either.
This wasn't a love tap, this was a whacking. Which was amazing because she must have incredible wrist strength to generate that force, unless she was working on it for a long time and I wasn't paying attention.
I'm not paying for therapy so that I can be spanked. I can harnass my rage just fine, I count to 5 and it works for me. Back in HS I used to beat up everything that looked at me funny so I think I've made strides.
Adrenaline is a perfectly acceptable response to being hit.
I was thinking I was the only one that hated spanking, but I guess not. Since the other person is the one with the fetish, shouldn't it be up to them to discuss this with me beforehand, then?
I get that you made strides and I respect that. It's just that your reaction, though relatively improved, still was off the charts. You really may have a bit of PTSD going on. It's ok to talk things out to permanently take the edge off that situation. It undoubtedly will come up again because spanking is so common. Ideally, they would mention it beforehand and ask your permission/opinion, but a little booze and hormones makes judgement and forethought fly right out the window.
No a love pat isn't going to freak me out, but it's not going to turn me on either.
This wasn't a love tap, this was a whacking. Which was amazing because she must have incredible wrist strength to generate that force, unless she was working on it for a long time and I wasn't paying attention.
Ah ok.
Well, from what I've witnessed (having mostly guy friends who are close to me) the girls who exhibit that kind of behavior in the beginning stages are usually pretty immature and wanting attention.
Next time, keep your ass out of her way and it won't happen.
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Spanking
