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If they admitted their immaturity, pettiness and mean spiritedness and genuinely apologized for it and proved to me they had changed... yes. But obviously that takes time.
I had a coworker many years ago that I ended up hating the sight of. She was incredibly rude and immature and would spout off with the most hateful comments to me and quite a few other people in the group. It was amazing she didn't get fired for some of the things she said to people. I ended up going to a different group and hadn't seen much of her for several years and then I found out she was coming into our group. I was amazed that she had actually outgrown her previous behavior and we did end up becoming friends. It was such a dramatic change that I couldn't believe it. That's the only situation I can think of in my whole life in which someone I despised ended up becoming a friend.
I'll forgive them but there will not be a second chance. Besides, most people are sorry for getting caught, not for the transgression. I don't have time for people's b**cha$$ness. I have more than enough friends/acquaintances so the fact that some people dislike me is their problem, not mine. As long as I don't mistreat them, it is what it is. People need to grow up, seriously. Adults acting like clowns
In my own life there is no one who was so malicious and hateful towards me that I couldn't find it within myself to forgive them if they were sincerely apologetic. That doesn't mean I'd be friends with them, but I don't hold grudges. On the other hand, once my trust has been violated it's extremely difficult for someone to earn it back.
Like Urban Sasquatch said, it also depends on the what stage of our lives we're talking about here. It's much easier to forgive and forget wrongs of the past when it was something during childhood. It's different when you get into the various stages of adulthood.
Indeed it is difficult to regained trust once it's lost yet I might be too easy many times. I might have to learn to get tougher. It's hard to tell when it's a real vs fake apology.
If someone held a negative impression about you for a long period of time (1 year being the minimum) and treated you horribly with either insults or spreading rumors about you to others behind your back but later on wanted to amend things with you, would you be forgiving?
I have never found myself in this position but for me it would depend on my mood mainly. If I had a stressful day at work then it's very unlikely I'll be on speaking terms with that person. However, if it's either a normal or special day then I guess I can try being their friend.
Though come to think about it if they disliked/hated you for a long time and all of the sudden want to be all cool with you, what would be the chances of them reverting back to the former hateful behavior? I think that would be very likely esp. if you accidentally do or say something they aren't comfortable with, even if it was not intended. They can change their opinions at any time and become your archenemy again.
People change.
Forgive and just be pleasant as possible back.
Trust is to be earned, not just given.
It's really true in cases such as what you've described.
I don't always see the point in forgiving, people have to answer to themselves, not me, not you or anyone else. If someone's being truly awful, and comes begging me for forgiveness, and that forgiveness will actually change something for them, they're just asking to get to feel better, given what they would've had to do for me to actually despise someone, I think I'd much prefer them to be in pain because of it.
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