Taking each other for granted... (marriage, love, older, spouses)

[CArizona]

Relationships start to die a slow death when spouses or partners start to take each other for granted...Don't you think? It can even become a form of abuse because the message is: "You're boring...You aren't exciting anymore...I know everything there is to know about you...You aren't worth my time or attention anymore" and so on...This is damaging to everyone's self esteem and sense of importance....and it damages the relationship thru the years....sometimes beyond repair. How do you feel about it?

[AllAboutEve]

Been there and yes it sucks. In my opinion, either you are WITH the person and you appreciate them, or let them find someone who does! Neglect is a form of abuse IMO.

[professorsenator]

Originally Posted by CArizona

Relationships start to die a slow death when spouses or partners start to take each other for granted...

Yes, true. What can be especially difficult is if one partner tries to liven things up but the other is comfortable in things being stale and banal.

[Dbl-r]

IMO I believe there is a lot of that today.

[CArizona]

I think that resentments pile up thru the years that are never really dealt with and this leads to lots of problems...It's hard to feel good about someone when there is a silent war going in secret. Don't you think?

[rlrl]

I was so cavalier, now the way that it stands, she's out of my hands; so i've learned that love is not possession, and I've learned that love won't wait, and i've learned that love needs expression but I've learned too late..."

now, who says that?

[CArizona]

I think that everyone puts their best foot forward during the "courtship stage" or during the "honeymoon stage." But once the "hunt" is over they take off their masks and false fronts and show more of their "true selves." They don't feel obligated to shower their partner with attention anymore or do much work on the relationship because they have already "won." What else is there to do except move on to new challenges and individual pursuits? People like this don't understand that it takes work and effort to keep love and friendship alive and well in a relationship....How do you feel about it?

[DennyCrane]

I remember reading an article one time by older celebs who had managed to have lasting marriages. They were asked what the secret was to making it work. Dame Judi Dench said "to never take each other for granted." It's pretty lousy to feel like you're partner doesn't appreciate you or assumes you'll always be there and that they don't have to put in the effort anymore.

[sweetheart1311]

Originally Posted by rlrl

I was so cavalier, now the way that it stands, she's out of my hands; so i've learned that love is not possession, and I've learned that love won't wait, and i've learned that love needs expression but I've learned too late..."

now, who says that?

Awww... MJ He cried a bunch of times when he was recording this song, bless his heart.

I think taking your partner for granted is common practice these days, unfortunately.

[CArizona]

Originally Posted by DennyCrane

I remember reading an article one time by older celebs who had managed to have lasting marriages. They were asked what the secret was to making it work. Dame Judi Dench said "to never take each other for granted." It's pretty lousy to feel like you're partner doesn't appreciate you or assumes you'll always be there and that they don't have to put in the effort anymore.

It is a bit weird when people don't realize that they have to work at everything in life including the happiness of their marriage or relationships....It seems a bit arrogant and unrealistic to assume that everything will just fall into place all by itself without any effort on our part. Don't you think?