A sad case of denial. Need your input.

[Sgoldie]

This guy is not emotionally available and won't be anytime soon. If Mary can handle this as a sex relationship, which I suspect she can't and shouldn't, being as detached as he is is the only way for equality.

In other words, this is a waste of her time, an abuse of her emotions, and a detriment to her well-being. Drop him as he has apparently already kept her at bay.

[Yzette]

Originally Posted by virgode

I'm glad you came back and posted this, he's abusive, the rest is not important.

I don't believe there was mention in the original post about abuse. Just manipulative jackarse behavior. I didn't even see mention of any abuse until after the PTC mentioned it later in another post, as I was reading back through the thread--which is why I came back and mentioned it.

PTC have you posted about these folks before? Just curious. This thread feels like it's a continuation of an already existing story to me.

[PassTheChocolate]

Originally Posted by Avienne

I don't believe there was mention in the original post about abuse. Just manipulative jackarse behavior. I didn't even see mention of any abuse until after the PTC mentioned it later in another post, as I was reading back through the thread--which is why I came back and mentioned it.

PTC have you posted about these folks before? Just curious. This thread feels like it's a continuation of an already existing story to me.

Gosh, I have posted about a few. I can't remember.

[Yzette]

Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate

No demands as far as I can tell, they were reasonable objections to his behavior that resulted in outright abuse. She literally got her *ss kicked when she objected to a 3 hour phone call to his ex at 3 in the morning. It was after 2 years of all the mess that she told him she was fed up, he saw her ready to walk and said he wanted to make it right. She told him what he needed to do, he said he would do it and he lied.

Okay. See, I didn't know that stuff. There's no indication of violence like that in the first post in this thread.

As I understand it, it's extremely tough for battered women to get away from abusers once they're in a cycle.

I am, however, having a tough, tough time trying to understand how there's ever a second violent incident. There has to be some precedent in her life for it, whether her parents were abusive physically and emotionally when she was a child, or maybe previous partners did a number on her, or something bad happened to her in high school, or something. Somewhere along the way, she learned that this is what she's worth and a relationship in which it happens is worth trying to save. She has to unlearn that.

That's not to say it's her fault that he hit her. Absolutely, positively, not.

But comes a time when you have to take a stand, because letting someone get away with that behavior tells them that it's okay when it's not.

Ever.

I hope she gets out of there. The minute he lied, he became a jackarse. The minute he raised his hand to her, he became a cowardly s.o.b., and she needs to acknowledge that, as well as acknowledge that it's never okay to hit. He's no prince worth trying to hang onto.

He should be in jail.

[CESpeed]

Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate

No, not the whole time. No demands as far as I can tell, they were reasonable objections to his behavior that resulted in outright abuse. She literally got her *ss kicked when she objected to a 3 hour phone call to his ex at 3 in the morning. It was after 2 years of all the mess that she told him she was fed up, he saw her ready to walk and said he wanted to make it right. She told him what he needed to do, he said he would do it and he lied.

Now's the time for him to become "a bad smell in the woods".