Before you guys assume my reasons, stop
I'm not blaming anyone, nor am I pitying myself. I would call myself unattractive and stupid. I do not harbor any resentful feelings towards women.
I am uncomfortable with anyone getting too close to me personally. This isn't limited to the opposite gender, either, but basically anyone (except the internet, where I can remain anonymous) that I meet. Plus, I find it difficult to hold a conversation with a woman. I don't seem to share any interests. I have very few friends and I think they enjoy my company, but I still don't ever get personal with them.
I'm also bothered way too little by what other people think of me for some reason. Even my own family for gods sake. Oftentimes, I don't see the point in life. I was raised to believe in God, but i already denounced that. I don't really have the typical desires and goals in life that others have (and that my family wants me to have); I couldn't care less about how much money I make in the future, as long as I make ends meet.
I know want to do with my life. But it is highly improbable if not impossible.
I've already accepted that I'll be single probably forever. I can live with that, I have other pursuits in life that will preoccupy me. I enjoy alone time anyways.
I do see those around me and sometimes envy their success, but I feel 'fake' trying to replicate it. It amazes me how clingy some people are, though I understand that I'm no better being the polar opposite of such. I guess I'm just wondering if I'm the only one with this mindset.
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