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\I understand your hesitation and confusion, though. Just think carefully about what you want to do and whether you want to go down that road.
Agree, once you open that can of worms there is no going back. The link I just posted regarding the legalities of paternity testing also has some other good information about the whole process and things to consider.
This might be the wrong forum. If so, I apologize.
Backstory... I recently found out my wife and her cousin (yes, her cousin) were texting back and forth about how they wanted to hold each other, kiss each other, craved each other, etc. She was pregnant at the time.
My guestimation is that the child was conceived around Christmas 2008. This was a time when we were getting along pretty well, however. Still, she went over to his house by herself. Naturally I didn't think anything of it, them being cousins and all.
The baby was born (slightly pre-mature) in August. I found out about the texts in October. The cousin lives in Florida, we live in Virginia. Niether has been exactly forthcoming about anything about the "relationship" and they don't have their details together. My wife says it was just talk, because she was feeling lonely and she and I weren't getting along. And that the talk was all it ever was, and that it had only gone on for about 6-7 months at that time (October).
Anyway, the baby has blue-ish greyish eyes. This eye color is dominant on my wifes mothers side of the family. In fact, when you look at Christmas pictures when all the extended family is there, most of the people have that eye color.
I have green eyes, my wife has greenish-hazel eyes. The cousin has the same eye color as the baby. None of the three other children have the same eye color.
I have a sick feeling that the child might not be mine, and that something might have happened when she was with him at Christmas. Am I being paranoid?
The bottom line here is what difference does it make?, How does it make you feel what she did to you in the first place. There are DNA packs you can actually order on the net if you really want to know, but I really think IF you
are questioning it, You already know. and if you don't can you live with the fact your WIFE WENT TO BED WITH HER COUSIN??? THAT LOW DOWN. SICK EVEN. Do you realize the baby can have learning disabilities you may not see now, but also accepting issues with the family knowing this is the DIRTY LITTLE SCERTE. THE CHILD WILL FIND OUT. THIS IS SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT STAY UNDER THE CARPET. You know who i feel sorry for Is the child out of this wild sticky mess. Then second you. Your wife is messed up and needs help. She sounds much like a sexual abuse victim that understands that's how you show love. You let me know if I am wrong. I am usually 100% on the dot. Woman that preform in this manner are either molested, sexually abused, and do not know any different and find it normal in there world. She needs to go to mental health because she could get sexual transmitted disease which in fact could harm you and your family. much love to you all phoenix if she needs me have her wright me. or if you do please send me a message. either way sleeping with your cousin is a huge sign of abnormal and a huge sign for HELP ME....... PS DID YOU ALL TELL THE DOCTOR ABOUT THIS SITUATION. THE POSSIBITIES OF STD'S (SEXUAL TRANSMITTED DISEASE) NOT ONLY CAN EFFECT YOU BUT YOUR CHILDREN ON YOU TOOTHBRUSHES, HERPES CANBE PASSED EASIER THAN THEY SAY. SYPILLIUS, AIDS, SO MANY. I WISH YOU ALL WELL PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I CAN ANSWER QUESTION I USED TO BE RN, ESP IN LABOR AND DELIEVERY.
My understanding of it was that a child doesn't take on its actual eye color until it is at least 2-3 months old. But that once it is 6-7 months (which he is) that the eye color should be defined.
I just find it strange that the three previous children do not have that eye color, my wife doesn't have that eye color, and I don't have that eye color.
You sound like someone on the Maury show right before they announce that you are, in fact, the Baby Daddy.
"Maury, that kid don't look nuthin' like me, ain't got my eyes or even my nose....and all my other chillin's gots my nose....but not this one. He ain't mine....his momma slept with her cousin....that's HIS nose on that baby's face. I just know it!!!"
You don't seem like the kind of person who can put it behind you so just do the test already. Let us know when you'll be on Maury....we all want to watch to see if the kid is yours.
FWIW, my DD looks more like my sister than like me. She doesn't look anything like my DH or his side of the family at all. She is the only one with hazel eyes on either side of the family and even her stature is unique, we're all tall and she is extremely petite. No, I didn't sleep with my cousin....sometimes kids just don't look like their parents, sometimes their eyes are a different color, sometimes they get a different nose or different stature. Either get on with the test or get over it.
Eye colour means nothing.
Neither does anything else.
I can relate to your story, having been there myself, with two kids.
I can't really advise you, it has to be your decision, but, if you decide you need to know, do it as soon as possible.
The longer you leave it, the more hurt it will cause either way.
It doesn't sound like your relationship is on the best footing, so be cautious about how you approach it.
If you have the test, be prepared for the result.
If the child's yours, then you could lose a marriage through suspicion and untrust.
If it's not, you'll almost certainly lose a marriage, and a child, but, you'll have the freedom of knowing you were right, and not having to worry, you can then move on with your life.
It's not a pleasant situation, I'm afraid, but the longer you have doubts, the longer it will continue to tear you apart, and, no matter how hard you try, it WILL affect your relationship with the child.
If you spend years keeping a child at arms length, in case it's not yours, then find out it IS, that damage cannot be undone, and, of course, if you get too close to a child which isn't yours, well, need I say more ?
Posting a question on an internet forum asking hundreds of thousands of complete strangers if your wifes baby is yours...now I've really seen it all.
Stick around Mr. Minnesota! You aint seen nothin yet!!!!Heck! This topic is light compared to some of the stuff we talk about!!!!! We have cross dressing men asking the ladies for fashion advice. Carpal tunnel inflicted chronic masturbaters. And lesbians who hate cross dressing masterbaters! Can you believe I'm actually getting paid to read this sh*t???????
I've been quietly reading a bunch of these threads and I must have missed this one. Hahaha.
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What is the real answer your looking for?
PS DID YOU ALL TELL THE DOCTOR ABOUT THIS SITUATION. THE POSSIBITIES OF STD'S (SEXUAL TRANSMITTED DISEASE) NOT ONLY CAN EFFECT YOU BUT YOUR CHILDREN ON YOU TOOTHBRUSHES, HERPES CANBE PASSED EASIER THAN THEY SAY. SYPILLIUS, AIDS, SO MANY. I WISH YOU ALL WELL PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I CAN ANSWER QUESTION I USED TO BE RN, ESP IN LABOR AND DELIEVERY.
Hahaha.
