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Overall, when it comes to lying, even if you put your age as one thing to get into searches and then explain the truth when people actually come to your profile, it still looks like a bait-and-switch. Bait-and-switch is a lousy sales tactic, in my opinion, because people don't like to feel duped or had, and it's very rare that they will be so bowled over by what's in the rest of the profile that they'll forgive a liar for it.
I agree. Bait-and-switch is a perfect description for it and it would certainly turn me off to the person. A friend of mine who's very religious once did a search for Christian men and started reading the profile of one guy who sounded like a great match. Then she hit the wrinkle. Under the religion section, he said he was raised Christian, but no longer attends church or does anything, but still believes in God. In other words, he's spiritual, not religious. By itself, that wasn't an issue for her. Her preference was for someone Christian, but she didn't need someone who was as religious as her, just someone who at least believed in God. This was in a VERY conservative part of the country and I'm sure the guy was worried that if he didn't list himself as Christian, no one would be interested in reading his profile. So, like the OP, he told what he thought was a little white lie in order to get people to at least give his profile a look before passing on it. My friend said the bait-and-switch was a total turnoff and it no longer mattered how wonderful his profile was. The fact that he claimed to be one thing and then immediately backtracked was something she could not look past, even if what he lied about might not seem like a big deal. It was the fact that he lied about it all that bothered her.
I agree with what ChessieMom said. People don't give out their ages when you meet them in person because you can see for yourself how old they are. But online, a person can post a 10 year old picture of themselves.
But they can (and some do) post outdated pictures regardless. I'd be more concerned about people lying about their looks as opposed to their age. I think everyone realizes that online dating is a gamble, and you're not really going to know what you're getting until you meet in person (and maybe not even then!)
But they can (and some do) post outdated pictures regardless. I'd be more concerned about people lying about their looks as opposed to their age. I think everyone realizes that online dating is a gamble, and you're not really going to know what you're getting until you meet in person (and maybe not even then!)
The point isn't that people lie. We've already established that they do, both online and offline. But the difference between meeting someone in person and seeing their profile online is that when they're actually in front of you, you don't have to ask their age. You can see it with your own eyes. But if it's an online profile, you have no idea how old their picture is, assuming they even posted one. That's why supplying one's age ought to be required, if for no other reason than to pressure the person to be more honest. I can post a 10 year old picture of myself and leave my age blank. Someone seeing it will think I'm in my 20s. But if I list my age as 35, they'll know the pic I put isn't recent. Likewise, if I put a recent photo, but lied about my age, then people would still know I was lying. So the two in conjunction are needed to help keep someone honest. Of course, that doesn't stop the person from posting both an old picture AND lying about their age. The bottom line here is that lying is lying and in the world of online dating where there are lots of people to choose from, first impressions make a HUGE difference. Why risk turning off someone that might've given you a chance? Today they may put their requirements at 30-39. But tomorrow, they might change their mind and bump it up to 40. But if they already saw that you lied, well now you've screwed it for yourself.
And for the record, the men I want to date already have children and are typically divorced. My personal preference would be men aged 40 to 45.
A guy's personal preference might be women aged 35-39. You're both entitled to like what you like, but you can't get upset that someone else might judge you for it.
I like a little threadmancy from time to time. I'll tone it down
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