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So how do you guys deal with people who offer you advice you didn't ask for? Especially annoying advice such how to raise your own kids or how you'll look so much better if you lose 10 pounds?
Do you tell them off or pretend to listen, smile politely and thank them?
I disagree with the poster above me. If you are nice and polite to this person pushing their advice into you..that will only encourage them to keep doing it in the future. I think a better approach would be to fake a few loud obnoxious burps.
It depends who's giving it, and how much they mean to me.
If I like them ok I'll smile, and nod, while not listening.
If I don't like them, I'll make it obvious I'm not listening.
Also on the intent behind it.
If they're trying to help, see response #1 above.
If it's patronising, then see response #2, or, in extreme cases, response #3. Shove it up your ass !
Unwanted advice is often the advice you desparately need.
I don't think so.
Example: my boss often tells me that I need to come out of my shell and relate to others more. This is being repeated too often to the point it's becoming very painful. I like to keep to myself and this has always been my character, and as long as job is done, why would anyone be bothered by my personality? I don't want to change because I'm very comfortable with myself this way and I'm not hurting anybody. Why can't people accept other people just the way they are and concentrate on things that matter?
Another example; my friend just started seeing someone for about a week now and yesterday she was telling me that during their conversation, she advised him to start eating healthy (true, he's a really big guy, but I think he already knows that) and even shared some dieting tips with him. I asked how the topic was brought up and she said she just thought he would be impressed if she showed some concern for him! I was speechless.
I agree with bobman. I first decide how important the person is to me and whether they are trying to be helpful. If they are a close friend, I will listen. I may simply say "thank you" and forget it or I might even go "hmmm, interesting point" especially if I hadn't thought of things that way.
If, however, the person is simply being a buttinsky or know-it-all, I will curtly say, "yup, yup, thanks. I would not know what to do if it weren't for your helpful advice." (I have an extremely acerbic tone to my voice when I'm displeased.) On the otherhand, if they are someone whose opinion I value in its absence - and whose company is preferred when it's lacking, I will look them in the eyes and tell them that when I need their advice, I will call them. However, I don't have their phone number and don't need it, either.
I agree w/the last post...depends on how you perceive the advise too..do you think it's meant to be hurtful?
In most cases, it's meant to help, but I find it very annoying if it's about the things I cannot change (like personality) or kids when they don't have any.
This doesn't qualify as advice. It's not accepting someone for who and what they are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissLucky
I don't think so.
Example: my boss often tells me that I need to come out of my shell and relate to others more. This is being repeated too often to the point it's becoming very painful. I like to keep to myself and this has always been my character, and as long as job is done, why would anyone be bothered by my personality? I don't want to change because I'm very comfortable with myself this way and I'm not hurting anybody. Why can't people accept other people just the way they are and concentrate on things that matter?
Another example; my friend just started seeing someone for about a week now and yesterday she was telling me that during their conversation, she advised him to start eating healthy (true, he's a really big guy, but I think he already knows that) and even shared some dieting tips with him. I asked how the topic was brought up and she said she just thought he would be impressed if she showed some concern for him! I was speechless.
Unwanted advice is often the advice you desparately need.
But it's called "unwanted" advice, because it is...unwanted.
I have some additional phrases I use:
Who died and put you in charge?
If your advice is so worth my listening, why aren't you rich?
But my favorite is:
Omniscience is not your forte.
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