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How do YOU know the single mom has been irresponsible? What if she married a man planning on forever, and he left when the going got tough or when he saw someone else that he thought would make a better booty call? How would that make the single mom irresponsible? And why should her life be over just because she is a mother? Yes, she needs to be careful who she dates and not introduce them to her children until there is an actual relationship, but she should be able to date. I just hope all single mothers are careful and stay away from men or should I say boys, who are not man enough to handle a woman with a child.
Then if the man she chose did this she picked the wrong man. Is it really her fault of course not, but this is what the dating process is for.
This is another reason to why the Divorce rate is around 60% these days, cause people put unrealistic expecations on their future spouses or even in relationships. Look it may not be nice, sound pretty, but it's the truth, the #'s dont lie, as over half of both married sexes admit to cheating, and of course not surprisingly enough it leads to divorce.
I feel that if people when dating instead of worrying what type of life the other will help them achieve financially, and how great things are going to be yada yada yada, they need to learn about the person. How exactly I dont have that answer but I do know the current way folks are doing it obviously isn't working.
We are seeing an uptick in the # of singles in this country, and the biggest reason touted in surveys is not wanting to get married & ultimately end up divorced and having children.
I believe we are seeing a revolution in the family dynamic in this country to where more women will have children out of wedlock and that be their goal, were already seeing more women in the workforce say they dont need a man to be happy.
But facts are those women whove made an error in judgemen have committed relationship suicide for the most part, sure not in every instance but in most cases.
And how does one know this? I mean...how is it that you are determining that the woman has this "lack of knowledge"? Please tell us how you are making that assessment.
Hi ChessieMom,
Why are some men "creepy". You are not dealing with rational thought with these things. Yelling about it will not change the opinions of many men.
And how does one know this? I mean...how is it that you are determining that the woman has this "lack of knowledge"? Please tell us how you are making that assessment.
If a woman is a single mother (not a widow), she obviously chose an irresponsible or bad male to mate with.
Again, because nature dictates that males are chosen by females... choosing prime males with whom to mate is her responsibility.
when she chooses a male who is an irresponsible father, or poor partner, that is a biological failure on her part.
But heres how I usually make my assessment, (and people may want to try this on the single mothers they know in their lives): when they rattle on about their child's deadbeat fathers, I always ask them "what was he doing when you first met him?...was he a motivated, driven, in school, ambitious, responsible, kind, considerate man when you met him?..."....
9/10 the answer is "well, I thought he would change once we had children/got married"......
again, that is a reflection of her poor judgment and a biological failure on her part.
After reading this thread I am concerned about men in general..I just can't believe that men are really as shallow as the ones on here. If so, I will choose to stay single, and yes I can raise a child alone and financially I don't need a man. So, the only reason I need a man is to have someone to love and have fun with, and if guys like these are what I have to choose from...no thanks. LOL...thankfully the guys in my life act nothing like the ones on here that could not handle being a father figure for another man's child. It sounds like some people are very insecure...worrying about coming second to a child. I would think a MAN that put his child first would be priceless.
How do YOU know the single mom has been irresponsible? What if she married a man planning on forever, and he left when the going got tough or when he saw someone else that he thought would make a better booty call? How would that make the single mom irresponsible? And why should her life be over just because she is a mother? Yes, she needs to be careful who she dates and not introduce them to her children until there is an actual relationship, but she should be able to date. I just hope all single mothers are careful and stay away from men or should I say boys, who are not man enough to handle a woman with a child.
U see ur last statement about women staying away from men/boys that aren't mature enough to handle dating a single mom. Take off the blinders, the man has to think about these things. If they marry will she ask him to adopt her child, and if he were to that child now legally becomes his own so if things fall apart then he now has to pay support for a kid that's not his.
A man/boy who gets into this relation has to worry about the father constantly being in the picture, always being a potential problem, or a potential health risk. Most single fathers who as u said abandon ship when all goes south, tend to never be happy in life, so this man would be more likely to stick his head into your relation w/ his ex if not for the only reason to make your lives as miserable as his.
I know a guy he and his ex had a child and they ultimately spilt. The ex is now remarried and supposedly happily, but this guy I know used to always stick his nose into his ex's business, & surely they always have a connection w/ their son, so one day when he was dropping their son off to his ex they hooked up again. While this is possibly an exception this is the type of stuff a new man/boy has to always worry about happening to him, cause when a woman gives birth to a man's child there is always more than just the child that connects the two.
Well some people just have a problem with the truth. I do not think that most single moms have a hard time dating if they are attractive good women. All the ones I know date.
However most of them tend to bounce from one to another. The guys usually cant handle the drama. The ones that seem to have the best luck keeping one are the ones that have an absent ex. The truth is that to most guys this is actually a better situation. I would much rather be a father figure to a fatherless child. When the ex is around its a constant annoyance usually. Unless you just happen to find a girl that has a very business like, mature reltionship with her ex. That is not usually the case in my experience.
Like I said earlier I have a hard time dating single moms in a serious way. Not because they are less valuable or damaged goods. Not at all. My ex was a wonderful loving woman. But I just chose not to live in that situation. I dont want to be in a relationship where I have to hang out with my gf's ex husband (ie.. soccer games etc). Just not something Im interested in for the next 20 years. And I dont want to live with bratty children that I cant effectively discipline without getting into a physical altercation with her ex. So I chose to exit that situation. If that makes me an a$$ fine.
The truth is that there are guys that love a woman so much that he will overlook these things and I think thats great. I really do. You will also find that the majority of those situations are ones where the father is almost or totally absent and the stepfather is raising the kids as his own. I salute these men. Children need a father figure if possible.
Also for me I know that no matte how mad my ex wife makes me I always feel a connection to her due to her being the mother of my kids. Im not in love with her anymore but I am connected to her in a way. I personally cannot marry a woman who shares a similar connection with the father of her kids. Maybe Im just jealous. And thats ok. Doesnt make it less true. Thats just my .02.
After reading this thread I am concerned about men in general..I just can't believe that men are really as shallow as the ones on here. If so, I will choose to stay single, and yes I can raise a child alone and financially I don't need a man. So, the only reason I need a man is to have someone to love and have fun with, and if guys like these are what I have to choose from...no thanks. LOL...thankfully the guys in my life act nothing like the ones on here that could not handle being a father figure for another man's child. It sounds like some people are very insecure...worrying about coming second to a child. I would think a MAN that put his child first would be priceless.
" I would think a MAN that put his child first would be priceless." That's key it's not his kid. While u strike at a mans ego by saying he's not mature/MAN enough, facts are facts and I'm willing to be most men in your life do feel this way or have at some point, from your responses I can tell it's never been a topic of disscussion.
And the men that do fill that void more times than not aren't looking for their own families, we are all talking about men who are looking to start their own families. Go to any of the online sites and most of the men there have women w/ no kids as a filter.
Plus it's just as big an issue amongst women. I know for a fact a woman would have the same issues going into a relationship w/ a single dad, or a man that has a kid w/ another woman. A survey/study showed the reason being most women wanted to be the one to give their spouse his first child.
After reading this thread I am concerned about men in general..I just can't believe that men are really as shallow as the ones on here. If so, I will choose to stay single, and yes I can raise a child alone and financially I don't need a man. So, the only reason I need a man is to have someone to love and have fun with, and if guys like these are what I have to choose from...no thanks. LOL...thankfully the guys in my life act nothing like the ones on here that could not handle being a father figure for another man's child. It sounds like some people are very insecure...worrying about coming second to a child. I would think a MAN that put his child first would be priceless.
hope it works out for you, but we are just speaking what many a man have been scared out of saying in todays modern world where feminazism rules the day.
I don't have a child, as I have already stated, but I still don't want a guy with the attitude the men on this thread have expressed. And did you pay attention to what one of you said...it is HIS child...well it is HER child. Why is it different?
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