Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Being in this situation myself, I would have to say 30s for women because all the men are married. They are not divorced yet and the ones that aren't married are not married for a reason!.
Being a single male in his 30s who's never been married, I'll try not to take that comment personally.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fatmancomics
Well then you got lucky and dated the ones that have actually matured.
Now, the reason why I never dated single moms was simple; I didn't want to be any kind of father figure and that's what you become to kids of single moms if you date them. In short, I didn't want to be responsible for messing with some kid's head. Dating single moms without the intent of being there for the long haul is fine if you're never around the kids but if you get introduced to them (I feel) you'd better be ready to be a daddy. If you're not then you're just an a-hole.
The first part of your comment is the part you should be focusing on. Whether a person has kids or not, it's her character that matters. A lot of people get married, have kids, and then the marriage doesn't work out. So now they're back out on the dating scene, only this time they have kids to factor into it. Both women I dated were very mature and careful who they introduced their children to and when. Neither was looking for a father. They both had shared custody with their children's fathers. What they wanted from me was to be their child's friend and to be understanding of the demands that having children would put on her free time. I never, EVER felt like I was auditioning for any type of fatherly role and neither of those kids looked at me that way. They knew who their father was and they knew it wasn't me. If things had lasted, I never would've expected to be responsible in any way for her child. If you're running into single mothers who are placing that expectation on the men they date, that says more about them and their character and shouldn't be applied across the board to all single moms. That's no different that if every father you met was a deadbeat and then assuming all men make lousy fathers.
the babes are either all married, or divorced with young kids.
Not true for women, where 45+ is the worst.
For men, this is true but not for the reasons you give.
Unmarried women available fall into 3 camps:
Those with impossibly high standards who won't consider settling until they are nearly into their 40s. You wouldn't want them anyhow.
Divorced (with or without kids) If you are interested, they aren't because they still think they are hot stuff and deserves a second chance at the same type of guy they originally married - of course with money this time.
Those who were passed over. This is rarely good. Men have a natural aversion to neurotics, drama queens, addicts and needy types so they are plentiful in the over 30 never married age bracket, since they had no luck while in their 20s. For those who bucked the odds, they are also common among the divorced crowd.
Since men are usually single in their 30s because they needed to struggle to get an education and get established in a career, they should be looking for a similar type of woman. Such women were extremely rare until about 15 years ago but is becoming more common. However, there is still a significant imbalance. Women are more likely to be supported in their education by parents and find it easier to establish a career to the point where marriage is possible. (a lower income is acceptable and there is preferencial hiring)
Naturally, if they can, men in their thirties look for younger women. They get slanged for this but that is mainly because only the most attractive 20% among them, have this opportunity.
One perspective, from a 51 year old single/divorced woman....
In my twenties, that was so long ago I can't recall specifics but I sure had a good time!
In my thirties, I found that men were either never married (usually a bad sign) or divorced and desperate to find The One.
In my 40's, I was married, so I have no perspective on dating.
Now 50-something ...I am not "looking" - quite the opposite; I am self sufficient and perfectly OK with being single. However, I'd say this is shaping up to being the decade where I am getting the most propositions for dates, so far. So I'm playing the field and dating a 41 year old firefighter and a 62 year old retired home builder.
The men I've run into and like enough to date in my late 40's-early 50's tend to be fairly settled and comfortable with who they are, not hung up on finding their forever soulmate (oh gag me) and perfectly willing to go out for fun, companionship, events, whatever, and enjoy it for what it is.
I like it like that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry
Not true for women, where 45+ is the worst.
For men, this is true but not for the reasons you give.
Unmarried women available fall into 3 camps:
Those with impossibly high standards who won't consider settling until they are nearly into their 40s. You wouldn't want them anyhow.
Divorced (with or without kids) If you are interested, they aren't because they still think they are hot stuff and deserves a second chance at the same type of guy they originally married - of course with money this time.
Those who were passed over. This is rarely good. Men have a natural aversion to neurotics, drama queens, addicts and needy types so they are plentiful in the over 30 never married age bracket, since they had no luck while in their 20s. For those who bucked the odds, they are also common among the divorced crowd.
the babes are either all married, or divorced with young kids.
blech
Crystalblue, you might be a bit traditional. I don't think there is a bad age to be single at all. Many of my friends including myself do not see marriage (sometimes kids) in our future and we are confident and comfortable with that. There is commonlaw marriage, though. I might want to settle with i'm 60, for all I know.
Crystalblue, you might be a bit traditional. I don't think there is a bad age to be single at all. Many of my friends including myself do not see marriage (sometimes kids) in our future and we are confident and comfortable with that. There is commonlaw marriage, though. I might want to settle with i'm 60, for all I know.
late 20's/ early 30's for a guy. What a nightmare....
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
...I am not "looking" - quite the opposite; I am self sufficient and perfectly OK with being single. However, I'd say this is shaping up to being the decade where I am getting the most propositions for dates, so far. So I'm playing the field and dating a 41 year old firefighter and a 62 year old retired home builder. 
