stay at home spouse pays half the bills and does all the work

[saltine]

Originally Posted by yankeegirl313

Have you tried to talk to her about this habit of hers?

Yes, she defends this behavior. Thats where shes at right now, she just got paid.

[saltine]

Originally Posted by NY Annie

OP, sorry to hear that - it's sad that you have no partner in life - but more sad that you brought a child into that environment.

It's really a shame that you two can't find a meeting of the minds in the middle somewhere - a little play money isn't a bad thing (directed at you); on the otherhand, too much play and not enough frugality isn't good either (at her). Somewhere is a happy medium. Perhaps she's rebelling against your practicality and you are digging in your heels at her spending. Have you tried counselling?

I have suggested it, she says I will just manipulate the councellor. I believe she is scared she will be criticized, and she doesnt take criticism lightly, anger issues. Yes what strange times we live in. BTW I am not a stick in the mud.

[WFW&P]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

I second that! Thank goodness my husband doesn't keep score - I'd never measure up as his earning potential FAR outweighs mine

Same for my wife......she earns double of what I do.

[WFW&P]

Originally Posted by saltine

Perhaps thats it, she was adopted and treated like cinderella, I came from a large loving family. I dont point this out to her, (feelings and stuff)

Could be worse, you could be doing all of it.

[saltine]

Originally Posted by WFW&P

Could be worse, you could be doing all of it.

I could do all of it and it might actually be better.

[NY Annie]

If she's taking her paycheck and running off to the casino when she has a child at home she doesn't see for at least 40 hours of the week, I think she might have a problem.

Maybe you should check into GA (Gamblers Anonymous) and leave some info around for her. Does she gamble her entire paycheck? Does she stay all night?

[PassTheChocolate]

Originally Posted by wigirl920

Doesn't anyone combine their money and pay for things out of the same pot of money anymore? Yeesh, I'm suddenly feeling very old-fashioned.

That's exactly why I wouldn't be comfortable with it. This my money/his money thing feels so roommate-ish.

[Mathguy]

Originally Posted by bobman

We're having that very discusssion right now.

We've decided that whoever is earning more, can contribute a higher proportion financially toward the house, and whoever spends most time there does a higher proportion of housework..

those proportions will need some defining once both our careers settle down.

Great post.

[Mathguy]

Originally Posted by wigirl920

Doesn't anyone combine their money and pay for things out of the same pot of money anymore? Yeesh, I'm suddenly feeling very old-fashioned.

Nope. That's how I did stuff for all my married years.

[cwaggy]

all the money goes into the same pot it matters not who makes how much - its all "ours" not "mine" and "yours".