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I'm stealing this from an answer I gave in another thread.
As much as I would prefer to have a long term, monogamous relationship, I wouldn't be opposed to a casual dating relationship or even FWB if it was truly that.
But unfortunately, causal sex and respect do not go together. It seems like one has to choose: be respected and only have sex in a relationship or have casual sex and not be respected.
Why we can't there be a happy medium?
I think there can be as long as that is disclosed at the beginning. BSing each other to get what you want is wrong in my book. If both of you agree to it I don't see a problem with it!
We've all heard this conversation; the fact that some men can turn around and talk total crap about a woman who slept with him on the first date proves respect means nothing to some people with a selfish agenda.
Well, what if a man and a woman hit it off so powerfully on the first date that they have sex and start a relationship?
I've had it in the past and it was a mutally respectful relationship. If they aren't mature enough to handle a casual relationship, then chances are they aren't mature enough to handle a serious one either. At the very least you should have even more respect for someone you are having sex with than just a platonic friend. Sex is still an intimate act, and just because the nature of the relationship is casual in every other aspect, doesn't mean you leave your manners and respect at the door.
Well respect is something you command for yourself. If I didn't get it then I would not be having casual sexual encounters with that person. Sex is just an act......respect is a value in which you put on yourself worthy of being earned by others.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd
We've all heard this conversation; the fact that some men can turn around and talk total crap about a woman who slept with him on the first date proves respect means nothing to some people with a selfish agenda.
I like that I can always count on you to "get" it.
Well, what if a man and a woman hit it off so powerfully on the first date that they have sex and start a relationship?
That is very different than a man acting like he is into a woman so he can have sex with her and then turn around and talk about her like she has a tail.
I'm stealing this from an answer I gave in another thread.
As much as I would prefer to have a long term, monogamous relationship, I wouldn't be opposed to a casual dating relationship or even FWB if it was truly that.
But unfortunately, causal sex and respect do not go together. It seems like one has to choose: be respected and only have sex in a relationship or have casual sex and not be respected.
Why we can't there be a happy medium?
With select people there can be. Its just not common. Post a picture of yourself and I'll let you know if you're a possible candidate.
I can tell you right now if you look like Angelina Jolie you should have no trouble having a FWB and R-E-S-P-E-C-T. In fact if you look like Angelina Jolie PM me and you can call the shots! If your looks are somewhat south of Angelina Jolie... well then individual experiences may vary.
But unfortunately, causal sex and respect do not go together. It seems like one has to choose: be respected and only have sex in a relationship or have casual sex and not be respected.
It might seem like you have to choose, but I disagree that you do have to choose.
It's up to you and the other person to decide what "respect" means for each of you and be on the same page, and agree with it.
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Originally Posted by Redisca
It is sad to read the comments of some of the men on this forum who talk about sex like it's warfare, with women as the enemy. I think it stems from the antiquated notion that sex is inherently unpleasant, degrading and shameful for a woman (or at least, should be, and any woman who enjoys sex for its own sake is a dirty, dirty ****); that being the case, a woman would need to have that inherent degradation neutralized through social status -- namely, the status conferred by a long-term relationship. Even more disturbing is the idea that some men actually enjoy the type of sexual relationship that they believe is -- or should be -- profoundly harmful to their partner.
I absolutely agree and find that a disgusting mindset. And just to elaborate from a different angle on the same problem, I find it upsetting that so many people accuse men of disrespect unless they approach relationships in a traditional fashion or "give" women commitment in "exchange" for sex. Both men and women are capable of respect outside of committed/long term/traditional relationships.
And just to elaborate from a different angle on the same problem, I find it upsetting that so many people accuse men of disrespect unless they approach relationships in a traditional fashion or "give" women commitment in "exchange" for sex.
You are absolutely right. When it happens, I debate them.
Singleguy: what you wrote in your last post here is incredibly offensive. Why don't you post your picture, and we'll decide if you are worthy of respect. If you look like Brad Pitt, we'll treat you like a human being. Anything less attractive than that, we'll regard you as a pig.
I would be okay with casual dating relationship if there was actually relief of anxiety and tension and a real bond concerning mutual respect and friendliness. But those FWB and casual relationships only increase anxiety and tension. And when you put yourself out there like that. You almost feel like a useless slab of meat. I don't suggest it to anyone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed
I'm stealing this from an answer I gave in another thread.
As much as I would prefer to have a long term, monogamous relationship, I wouldn't be opposed to a casual dating relationship or even FWB if it was truly that.
But unfortunately, causal sex and respect do not go together. It seems like one has to choose: be respected and only have sex in a relationship or have casual sex and not be respected.
Why we can't there be a happy medium?
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