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I told him I thought of it as just a little show of pride or a "trophy"....something you're proud of. I said that "chicks like that type of thing," trying to keep it light hearted. When I half jokingly said that "maybe he didn't want some of his friends back home to know about me" he got offended (maybe rightfully so) and told me "that was all in my head"
Stop right now with the female nonsense. He is 100% right.
Why does it bother you if he doesn't have a FB page? Or he has little inclination to "maintain" it?
Stop trying to turn him into YOU.
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I trust him and dont think that he's doing anything shady, but I cant help but wonder why he doesn't want to post even just one picture of me or the two of us. I just look at it as he's proud to show the people in his social circle "this is my girl."
I'm fairly certain he'll be hounded/guilted into doing just that.
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Or are men really much more simple than all of that and I'm letting my imagination get the best of me by putting too much thought into this?
There you go. The answer is yes. Men are very simple creatures. They require very few "things" to keep them content and happy.
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Either way, my ego takes a very small hit on this topic. Do I have a right to feel that way? Should I be concerned? Or should I let it go and stop putting anymore thought into it?
Too bad. No. No. A big YES.
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He's up to something. Analyze the situation much longer please!
Don't take the above advise.
You mentioned he came out of a bad marriage - who knows, maybe he doesn't want the ex-from-h*ll to know his business.
#1 I'm not a child, actually I'm in my early 30's.
#2 I think I already stated I had some bad previous relationship experiences as well. I've been burned very badly TWICE before. Yes, I know everyone goes through these things...its called life, but for those of you criticizing me, how many of you can honestly say that they have never over reacted or let past experiences effect the way the handle current relationships? I'm not saying everyone, but a few comments were just uncalled for...and I expect that.... thats fine. I did say I was affraid of history repeating itself...thats my insecurity and sometimes it helps to have a nuetral opinion. I guess the fact that I can recognize that and admit to my own imperfections means I cant be all that immature.
#3 Mentioning the number of his FB friends wasn't meant to judge him...I dont care about that. I only stated that to say he hasn't been on that long and really isn't into it. I'm really not sure how that could come across as I was belittling him but I guess I should have been clearer.
#4 Nothing in this entire thread stated anything that would make me a nag. I'm the furthest thing from a nag. We only ever discussed this topic once and during the conversation I asked a question, not ordered him to plaster my picture on anything. I dont even go to his page (again...stated before that I didn't even know the number of people he was linked to) so I think that shows respect for his space and privacy.
Furthermore, the Pi$$ing on his territory comment... I dont even get why that was called for??? It was just inappropriate and uncalled for....and dumb. If I added MORE details about our every day interactions and life, I'd be hypocritcal for one, and it would have made an already long post, even longer.... that wasn't my aim. Actually we have a very good relationship and respect each other's space despite living together.... and we do this all without nagging each other.
I guess my whole point came from every other man "we" know had pictures of their wives and girlfriends... and I just thought "it would be a nice gesture... it would feel nice." And there is nothing wrong with that feeling... as I'm not the only person in that boat. I just forgot that, as someone else posted; ..."SOME MEN JUST DONT DO PICTURES".... Good point. I totally agree. I completely respect that. And I appreciate the responses from the men who are the same way. Not ever being married, and having dated jerks prior to the good guy I'm with...I guess I just needed to get to that point and go through a good experience, to learn that. Sorry if I'm not perfect.
So on that note, thank you to everyone else who actually had something positive or even nuetral and truthful comments to add...I greatly appreciate it as it helped me clear my head and think logically. For the others, maybe you should actually read the question before you decide to blast someone just because it makes you feel clever today.
Not do you only over analyze, but you overreact as well. You were the one who said "it was like he was giving into the dark side." Perhaps you meant it in jest but your tone regarding your SO joining FB seemed somewhat critical.
I dont want to sound juvenile here, and I considered the idea that I may be overanalyzing (which I tend to do from time to time), but I'm a little bothered that my boyfriend of 2 years has no pictures of me that others can see. I know it sounds stupid, but not one on facebook, in his wallet or at work. He has pictures of me in his phone and takes plenty of pictures of us any other time but nothing that publicly acknowledges us as a couple.
At first when he found out that I had pictures of him posted, he wasn't mad but sad he doesn't like his picture being online and asked me "not to get carried away with it." Let me be clear... I have not created an altar dedicated to him online and there are only a handfull of pics of him/us. Its more pictures of my friends and I than of he and I... but just a few little captured moments that I am proud of.... that I kind of wanted to show off and share with my friends.
He is new to FB and has fewer than 20 friends and it took him forever to join, like he was giving in to the darkside by opening a Facebook. I know he is a private type of person, and all of his "friends" are family or friends that I know. He doesn't even have pictures of himself. He says he basically just wants to use it to connect more with his family. He even tells me about the people who send him friend requests and he ignores them...male and female. I believe all of that to be true.
Also, I rarely go to his page and didn't even know how many friends he had until I brought it up last night, which of course led to a small arguement. I told him I thought of it as just a little show of pride or a "trophy"....something you're proud of. I said that "chicks like that type of thing," trying to keep it light hearted. When I half jokingly said that "maybe he didn't want some of his friends back home to know about me" he got offended (maybe rightfully so) and told me "that was all in my head" and "Have I seen his friends? They all know me." Even all of his immediate co-workers know me and we have gotten together with them many times.
I certainly didn't want this to turn into a fight and I'm not "mad" about it, just a little hurt I guess... and I dont think he understands why. I trust him and dont think that he's doing anything shady, but I cant help but wonder why he doesn't want to post even just one picture of me or the two of us. I just look at it as he's proud to show the people in his social circle "this is my girl." When I tried to explain that point of view, and tell him how I felt it just didn't come out right. He said that he thinks that FB is High School BS and he was thinking of deleting his account anyway, but if he didn't delete it, he'd add pictures when he was ready...????? Ready for what...if its just Facebook and High Schoolish... than what is there to be ready about? Are we talking about FB or something more...Or am I overanalyzing this?
The last thing I'll add (and this could be key... or nothing) is that he was in a bad marriage that led to a divorce, but that has been over for years now. But in the beginning of our relationship, when I had pictures of him on FB, he would say he didn't want his ex to have anyway of finding out. I assured him I wasn't friends with anyone she was connected to and my account was locked up like Ft. Knox... since then he's more comfortable with it all, has seen all of my pictures and never mentions his ex. Infact, we now live together and get along great. I know he loves me, and I'm really not trying to **** on my territory, but there is still that little spark of my imagination wondering "Is he really "just that private" or is he not ready to broadcast our relationship?" Is he still unsure of where this is heading? Is he still keeping his options open? Or are men really much more simple than all of that and I'm letting my imagination get the best of me by putting too much thought into this? Either way, my ego takes a very small hit on this topic. Do I have a right to feel that way? Should I be concerned? Or should I let it go and stop putting anymore thought into it?
Sorry this was so lengthy, but thanks for hanging in there with me...
I don't know if you're overanalyzing or not, but I think if he really cares about you and is serious about your relationship and this is important to you, he would put one little ole pic up. If he doesn't, I don't think he cares about you that much or at the very least is putting all of his needs before yours. Not something *I* personally would be happy with from a 2 year old relationship.
Regardless of why he's acting this way, he has drawn his boundary and what you need to decide is whether this is acceptable to you. Either break it off now, or accept that he may always feel this way.
I dont want to sound juvenile here, and I considered the idea that I may be overanalyzing (which I tend to do from time to time), but I'm a little bothered that my boyfriend of 2 years has no pictures of me that others can see. I know it sounds stupid, but not one on facebook, in his wallet or at work. He has pictures of me in his phone and takes plenty of pictures of us any other time but nothing that publicly acknowledges us as a couple.
At first when he found out that I had pictures of him posted, he wasn't mad but sad he doesn't like his picture being online and asked me "not to get carried away with it." Let me be clear... I have not created an altar dedicated to him online and there are only a handfull of pics of him/us. Its more pictures of my friends and I than of he and I... but just a few little captured moments that I am proud of.... that I kind of wanted to show off and share with my friends.
He is new to FB and has fewer than 20 friends and it took him forever to join, like he was giving in to the darkside by opening a Facebook. I know he is a private type of person, and all of his "friends" are family or friends that I know. He doesn't even have pictures of himself. He says he basically just wants to use it to connect more with his family. He even tells me about the people who send him friend requests and he ignores them...male and female. I believe all of that to be true.
Also, I rarely go to his page and didn't even know how many friends he had until I brought it up last night, which of course led to a small arguement. I told him I thought of it as just a little show of pride or a "trophy"....something you're proud of. I said that "chicks like that type of thing," trying to keep it light hearted. When I half jokingly said that "maybe he didn't want some of his friends back home to know about me" he got offended (maybe rightfully so) and told me "that was all in my head" and "Have I seen his friends? They all know me." Even all of his immediate co-workers know me and we have gotten together with them many times.
I certainly didn't want this to turn into a fight and I'm not "mad" about it, just a little hurt I guess... and I dont think he understands why. I trust him and dont think that he's doing anything shady, but I cant help but wonder why he doesn't want to post even just one picture of me or the two of us. I just look at it as he's proud to show the people in his social circle "this is my girl." When I tried to explain that point of view, and tell him how I felt it just didn't come out right. He said that he thinks that FB is High School BS and he was thinking of deleting his account anyway, but if he didn't delete it, he'd add pictures when he was ready...????? Ready for what...if its just Facebook and High Schoolish... than what is there to be ready about? Are we talking about FB or something more...Or am I overanalyzing this?
The last thing I'll add (and this could be key... or nothing) is that he was in a bad marriage that led to a divorce, but that has been over for years now. But in the beginning of our relationship, when I had pictures of him on FB, he would say he didn't want his ex to have anyway of finding out. I assured him I wasn't friends with anyone she was connected to and my account was locked up like Ft. Knox... since then he's more comfortable with it all, has seen all of my pictures and never mentions his ex. Infact, we now live together and get along great. I know he loves me, and I'm really not trying to **** on my territory, but there is still that little spark of my imagination wondering "Is he really "just that private" or is he not ready to broadcast our relationship?" Is he still unsure of where this is heading? Is he still keeping his options open? Or are men really much more simple than all of that and I'm letting my imagination get the best of me by putting too much thought into this? Either way, my ego takes a very small hit on this topic. Do I have a right to feel that way? Should I be concerned? Or should I let it go and stop putting anymore thought into it?
Sorry this was so lengthy, but thanks for hanging in there with me...
It all depends on what he does for a living? For me, I work on the road and out of my truck so I would have to have the pics in my vehicle. I can't have stuff like that in my wallet because it wouldn't last a few days. I ruin those heavy duty thick leather wallets and my jeans like no ones business from all the crawling around. Most guys don't wear their wedding rings either because of the risk of electrocution but for the right gal I would chance it!
I dont want to sound juvenile here, and I considered the idea that I may be overanalyzing (which I tend to do from time to time), but I'm a little bothered that my boyfriend of 2 years has no pictures of me that others can see. I know it sounds stupid, but not one on facebook, in his wallet or at work. He has pictures of me in his phone and takes plenty of pictures of us any other time but nothing that publicly acknowledges us as a couple.
He is new to FB and has fewer than 20 friends and it took him forever to join, like he was giving in to the darkside by opening a Facebook. I know he is a private type of person, and all of his "friends" are family or friends that I know. He doesn't even have pictures of himself. He says he basically just wants to use it to connect more with his family. He even tells me about the people who send him friend requests and he ignores them...male and female. I believe all of that to be true.
Is he still unsure of where this is heading? Is he still keeping his options open? Or are men really much more simple than all of that and I'm letting my imagination get the best of me by putting too much thought into this? Either way, my ego takes a very small hit on this topic. Do I have a right to feel that way? Should I be concerned? Or should I let it go and stop putting anymore thought into it?
Sorry this was so lengthy, but thanks for hanging in there with me...
You might be overreacting. First of all, it's HIS page--although couples are cute and all, people are really there to see HIM. Second, since he does not have any pictures of himself, why would he post pictures of you? One thing that caught my attention though is that you take all kinds of pictures together. It kind of seems like he is hiding something but not sure what that might be? Is he embarrassed about something?
Should I be concerned if my boyfriend has no pictures of me at work, in his wallet or on Facebook or am I overanalyzing?
Yeah, you should probably be a bit concerned. But, dont worry. If you have any pictures of him, just post them on your own Facebook account and be sure to tag him in those pictures (all of his FB friends will see them) and make sure you put description of "Me and my boyfriend ...." or "My boyfriend and I at ....". If he complains or have a problem with it then you KNOW something is going on. At that point you can ask for an explanation and/or you can break up with him.
Me and my hubby swung by my parents house last weekend to say hello (plus, he wanted to talk to my dad about car stuff ) and found out that my sister has plastered their house with pictures of her and her new boyfriend. They've been 'officially' dating for one month now (she's 22, btw) and has no less than 5 -5x8 pictures of the two of them on my parents refrigerator. Tried to use my dad's laptop...yep, picture of them as the backround.
There are extremes on both sides. Don't become like my sister. She's extremely irritating and nobody wants to be around her, especially since she got her new 'boyfriend'.
Yeah, you should probably be a bit concerned. But, dont worry. If you have any pictures of him, just post them on your own Facebook account and be sure to tag him in those pictures (all of his FB friends will see them) and make sure you put description of "Me and my boyfriend ...." or "My boyfriend and I at ....". If he complains or have a problem with it then you KNOW something is going on. At that point you can ask for an explanation and/or you can break up with him.
You have got to be kidding.
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