What's the next step? (girlfriend, women, love, singles)

[1bright_future]

So I'm feeling pretty confident at most times. I have my appearance/clothes down. I am making a lot of small talk with women.

But for some reason I think there's still a part of my mind that is playing it safe and not having me ask out the women, etc.. maybe out of fear of rejection or fear of change.


How do I overcome this step, and start getting to know these women more through dates, and hopefully intimacy shortly after?

How do I be the one that initiates the romance , instead of waiting and waiting till the women give me clear signals? Get over the fear issues of rejection?


I don't have any friends in this new place currently to go out to places with and meet women. And I honestly don't care to have any male friends right now, but do miss some of my old buddies and think this next step would be so much easier to go out to places with friends.

Should I go to bars by myself? Where else could I go? Are women going to eventually reject me for not having any friends right now and for the foreseeable future? Are they going to care that I'm not a party/get together with social groups type of person? I like to do my own thing on my own time. I hate socializing in groups, I love to socialize one on one or with just a few people. But most women I've known need the large social groups...


Thank you!

[carra]

Well according to some people around here when you become confident you should have girls asking YOU out. So, maybe you don't have to do anything now...

[dave nz]

You need to man up and ask the one's out you are interested in. Its that simple.

[ulnevrwalkalone]

Originally Posted by 1bright_future

But for some reason I think there's still a part of my mind that is playing it safe and not having me ask out the women, etc.. maybe out of fear of rejection or fear of change.

Even though this convo happens 1000s of times on this forum I guess some people just cant be bothered to go back and read previous threads

Long story short you are afraid of women, not rejection. Fear of rejection would include guys and I don't think you would think twice if a guy doesn't want to go have a beer with you.

You are afraid of women, and thats like being afraid of a puppy. Easiest way to fix this problem is to change your focus when you are out trying to meet a girl. Instead of focusing on the possible rejection/outcome focus on the actual act of asking the girl out.

Make a goal of asking 10 girls out in the next month. I guarantee if nothing else a month from now you will be less afraid of women and better at talking to them. And the following month make it 15. Keep adding to your goal and you will either end up asking out 500 girls a month or find a girlfriend.

[andreaspercheron]

The more you make friends, the more opportunities open up for meeting other woman OF friends whom you've been introduced to. That's certainly one way, the other way is to join a local singles group. Another thing to and I never can understand this about people and their fear of rejection. You have to look at life like this; in situations where you are asking a question and can only get a Yes or a No response - the worse case scenario is that you get a big fat NO. I mean there is nothing more than CAN happen beyond that. Not every woman is going to like you - and honestly the world will not implode when they say no. It's only a "no".
If you have a fear, the only way to get over it is take that first step and ask. If that woman says no, then move onto the next. Eventually (and it will happen), a woman will say yes. You can't know unless you ask though.