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I fell for a fantasized image of someone I met online.
I was 17, we started communicating via social media. I thought he was cute, he claimed he liked me, but due to distance and going on different paths we never met. He was going into the military and I was about to start college. It was almost like a dear John thing without John. Over the course of three years, I built up this image of him in my head. I was so excited over the idea of finally finding someone I liked, having the feeling being mutual, and getting into a relationship that I lost touch with reality. I thought once I moved back home, we would have a chance to really date. It never happened.
Reality set in and I realized I was being very naive. Eventually I moved back home but he found someone else. Last I heard they had a child together. We never met, so I never really got to know him. It took me so long to let it go (still letting go) because I created an image in my mind. It was hard because I realized he was moving on with his life, and I was just pining over him. I didn't date anyone else and I was so stuck on him. But I am no longer hurting nor am I sad. It's just something that happened.
Sometimes I still feel I got the short end of the stick, but it's not a big deal. I have a much better understanding and I'm a lot better than I was.
I give myself 2 weeks and MAYBE a month and I move on. Of course it's different if your significant other dies or something but if we both agree to break up or if the other person simply doesn't desire to be with me, I'm going to move on too. I never will let myself soak over someone for more than 2 weeks nowadays. Sometimes I can get over someone in a week. I think it's important to allow yourself to flush it out but you can't also go months or years not being over someone because otherwise, you will never be happy in the next relationship. I seen too many people go into certain relationships always comparing their former BF/GF to their current and never getting over the break up. It's such a lame trait in my opinion.
Somebody said it took as long as it took to get close to somebody else. That sounds about right for me. Once I had a new "frame of reference" the old love was forgotten. In my youth it was only a couple of months. Now it takes much longer. Two years for a five-year relationship. I am not so sure I wish to date again to be truthful, not because of hurt but because I am tired and getting to be too lazy to want to make time and effort. I just wish to be. However I would like to perhaps have one more lover, somebody I can be light-spirited with, not so serious, so that when it ends it ends with fondness and friendliness. This way my final experience with a man is not a painful one.
But then when you have a good one, you get reminded of how much fun it can be and then you do not want it to end.
Oh please just shoot me now. I am too old for this, truly.
it took me almost a year to get over my ex boyfriend, although we were together for 13 months i still found it very hard to get over him, the first one was not to bad cause we were really good friends before and after we both got married, and cause of him i almost turned into a lesbian...
When I love or at least think I'm in love, I give all that I have and then some.
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