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For those that are currently in or have been in a interracial relationship, what kind of flack or problems have you ran into while being in this type of relationship? Also, are certain interracial couplings more acceptable than others, for example white male/asian female versus black male/white female?
I have dated every race under the sun and I can honestly say that I have never experienced any sort of problem. There were no disapproving family or friends, no catcalls, I never felt any elongated stares, no poor service in restaurants, nothing of the like. I would have hoped that my experience was the norm, but after reading the attitudes of many people on this forum towards minorities and racial issues over the past year or so, it seems that perhaps I've just gotten lucky .
As far as American society as a whole, I think white male/Asian female couplings are the most accepted and probably the most common. I think one of the reasons for that is America's history of military involvement in Asian nations which resulted in many American soldiers bringing back Asian wives from Korea, the Philippines, Japan, etc. so it's something that has been practiced for some time that we've become used to, and there is seen to be less of a social chasm between whites and Asians in this country than other races as well. It really doesn't seem to me that anyone bats an eyelid to white/Asian couples anymore regardless of where you go in the country. I think that the most taboo pairing still remains the black-white pairing, regardless of which partner is of which race, although black men date and marry interracially far more frequently than black women. Whether or not they will experience problems depends on their families, friends, location, and other issues, but I think that they are more likely to experience problems than other interracial couplings. I also think that while it may not be as taboo within an American social paradigm, that black/Asian couples probably face just as many obstacles, if not more, particularly if the families are from abroad.
Last edited by dullnboring; 06-15-2007 at 03:28 PM..
Reason: typo
I have dated every race under the sun and I can honestly say that I have never experienced any sort of problem. There were no disapproving family or friends, no catcalls, I never felt any elongated stares, no poor service in restaurants, nothing of the like. I would haved hoped that my experience was the norm, but after reading the attitudes of many people on this forum towards minorities and racial issues over the past year or so, it seems that perhaps I've just gotten lucky .
As far as American society as a whole, I think white male/Asian female couplings are the most accepted and probably the most common. I think one of the reasons for that is America's history of military involvement in Asian nations which resulted in many American soldiers bringing back Asian wives from Korea, the Philippines, Japan, etc. so it's something that has been practiced for some time that we've become used to, and there is seen to be less of a social chasm between whites and Asians in this country than other races as well. It really doesn't seem to me that anyone bats an eyelid to white/Asian couples anymore regardless of where you go in the country. I think that the most taboo pairing still remains the black-white pairing, regardless of which partner is of which race, although black men date and marry interracially far more frequently than black women. I also think that while it may not be as taboo within an American social paradigm, that black/Asian couples probably face just as many obstacles, if not more, particularly if the families are from abroad.
Times are different now than when I was dating regularly, but I probably dated nearly every race I can think of--and folks from most of the continents.
But, unlike dullnboring, I had many negative incidents. Most of the incidents were in public places, but a few were because of family values and restrictions (including my own). Some of the incidents were rather painful and several embarrassed me, but all of them were handled with graciousness by both my partner(s) and myself. One or two were actually funny in how extreme some folks can get in their prejudices about family background, and social standing based on racial or religious differences and be so....darn...wrong...in their narrow view.
But like dullnboring I am rather astounded at the blatant racial, religious and nationality slurs I've seen on the forums.
I'm hoping it's a generational thing. I realize that I'm a generation or two removed from most of the people who post on this board so I'd like to think that the antiquated views some people espouse on here are those of the old guard, whose views are thankfully dying out. I've always lived in ethnically diverse, middle to upper middle class, well-integrated, highly-educated (sub)urban areas so I'm sure that has something to do with the level of acceptance that I've found, but there's no doubt that as a whole interracial relationships are far more accepted amongst people in my age group than my parents, and will be even moreso for my future children.
I forgot to add, in reference to my earlier post stating that white/Asian pairings are seen as the most acceptable; I was referring largely to women of East Asian descent (Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese, Thai, etc.). It's an important distinction because I actually feel that more than any other group, interracial dating is the least common and most frowned upon in the South Asian (Indian, Pakistani, Sri Lankan, etc.) community. My longest relationship was with a girl of Indian descent (born/raised in Virginia, mother an Indian from Trinidad, father from India) and while it was never an issue for us, I know from a lot of Indian friends and colleagues and just from what I've seen with my own two eyes, that interracial dating, and even inter-ethnic dating (i.e. an Indian dating a Pakistani) is met with greater resistance amongst the South Asian community than perhaps any other community. While the feelings do fade over time, it's even rather remarkable how few South Asians intermarry in non-South Asian countries even generations down the line in places like east Africa, South Africa, the Caribbean, the UK, etc.
I also while white male/Asian female pairings are the most common and accepted, as a whole I feel Native Americans are the most open to interracial dating. Native Americans have been mixing with whites, blacks and Latinos for centuries now and it seems to be met with little resistance from either side.
I am in an interracial and interfaith marriage and I can say that it is extremely difficult at times. We have been together for 7 years and 3 of them married and it's still hard at times. We do get stares from public when we are out and about and also from family members and friends when we are at weddings or other parties. Our families (mine from Asia and his from Europe) were both very much against it and fought us not to get married (mine for the "marrying a white person" reason and his for "marrying someone not Catholic" reason). I will have to say that in order to fight through these barriers, you have to have pretty thick skin and be able to take a lot of abuse and not let it get you down. As long as you and your spouse or significant other are willing to go through it and truly feel that it is the right thing, the go for it. Otherwise, I would say to really think things through. I also feel that certain races/religions are more accepting of interracial and interfaith relationships. There are a lot of ignorant people in this world and you just have to be able to deal with it.
I am gentile and my husband is Jewish. While this is not a big deal, his mother made a big deal out of it in the beginning. That was over 15 years ago. I think she's finally accepted me now.
I have been with my husband 8 years, 3 of them married. He's white, I'm Asian. My brother married a white girl. Neither my brother nor I have had any negative experiences. The worse I get are stares. DH is from rural south Texas so when I go visit, folks there prob think I'm a circus act or something. I'm a pretty sweet and easy-going person so people usu warm up to me quickly.
As far as interracial couples go that are more accepting than others, I haven't really thought much about this until I started going on this board. Do you mean by society or by culture? My parents didn't like black people so if I married a black person, I think I would've been disowned. But then you get into the shades of gray with blacks who are half white or other mixed race and I have no idea what would happen! My parents were prob disappointed that I didn't end up with an Asian but I lucked out that my parents LOVED my husband.
As far as society goes, I think white+any race is usu more acceptable than any other "combo". I could be wrong though b'c I don't really pay a lot of attention to these things when I'm out in public. When I see an interracial couple, I usu imagine how cute their kids would look like!
For those that are currently in or have been in a interracial relationship, what kind of flack or problems have you ran into while being in this type of relationship? Also, are certain interracial couplings more acceptable than others, for example white male/asian female versus black male/white female?
I haven't heard of any problems from any one I know. I do have a friend who is black and her brother who was married with 4 kids, divorced his wife and married a white girl at least 10 years younger than him. But, the girl had never even dated a black person before, and it was just true love. I didn't hurt that his wife was later found to be pregnant with some one else's baby and tried to say he was the daddy and get ever MORE child support from him. His EX wife had a problem with it, but no one else did.
Over the years I dated women that were of other nationalities and faiths. My dad and stepmothers had a tough time accepting that. As a result, I let their feeling enter into my dating decisions. I regret doing that now. Especially since it seemed like the parents of the woman were more open to their daughters dating me. I finally married a German woman and we've really had no real problems to speak of. When we were stationed in Idaho, the local paper interviewed my wife as part of an article about spouses who followed their other half to Idaho for employment. Several days later, a Letter to the Editor, in part said: "I've dealt with foreign spouses before. Most of them are homesick. Soultion: Go Home!"
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