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If you want to diminish his/her pain then you should make arrangements in advance so that you can leave immediately after dropping the bomb. No one wants the person who rejected them hanging around like a bad smell.
I agree with the others. Have a place to go beforehand and pack up your stuff while he isn't there.
Is this going to blindside him? Does he have any idea at all that the relationship is over? If you are afraid of his reaction, or afraid that he might try to prevent you from leaving, then I would suggest having someone with you (your father, ideally) or perhaps telling him in a public place where he's more likely to remain civil.
If you want to diminish his/her pain then you should make arrangements in advance so that you can leave immediately after dropping the bomb. No one wants the person who rejected them hanging around like a bad smell.
Exactly, for a number of reasons. He is going to be very hurt and maybe even angry when you tell him you're leaving - there's a good chance he won't WANT you around anyway. On the other hand, sticking around may give him the wrong impression, that there is still hope for reconciliation - BAD move. And in general, it will also just make it harder for him to move on with you still living there.
Unless he is the most oblivious person on the planet or you are the worst communicator in the world, he probably already knows your marriage is in trouble and you've been having problems so it shouldn't come as a complete surprise.
I broke up with a SO I was living with in my house while I was in the hospital. I gave him all the time he needed to move out, but he wanted out immediately so he was gone by the time I got home. I would make the humble assumption that if someone dumped me I wouldn't want to be in the same house with them either for even one day afterwards. Since you have no children involved, I agree that you should make arrangements to be elsewhere immediately after. In another case I had given the guy ample warning that if things didn't improve in a month I was out of there and in 30 days I went and leased an apartment, but it wouldn't be ready for 2 weeks and slept in the 2nd bedroom for 2 weeks. He travelled for his job so he wasn't there the 2nd week but it was a very uncomfortable situation to say the least and looking back on it I probably should have stayed with my mother until it was ready and then came back and packed my stuff up when he wasn't there.
My ex and I discussed it months before we actually split. We agreed it would be a friendly divorce and stay friends because of the kids. I had to get financially more stable before I could leave, getting some bills paid off and some money saved up for the move. We just quit sleeping together until I moved out. Here we are over 20 years later and we are still friends. Everything went smooth and the kids did not have to deal with the anger that normally goes on during and after a divorce.
I have been in relationships where I have told them I am going away for the week end and I want you out when I get back. To me, it depends on the relationship you had with that person and what's going on. I see no reason why there has to be a big fight or blow up when it is over with... sometimes, it is just time to move on.
Get your finances in order and set up your own accounts. Then drop the bomb and get out.
Be aware there may be money issues but all you can do is be fair and wait and see how your SO handles it. Try your best to leave in good circumstances.
Did you go to marriage counseling? You must have loved him when you married him. I mean, if he doesn't abuse you and doesn't cheat on you, is it possible the problem is you? I think you may need to slow down, not be so hasty, and assess what the root of the problem is. The grass is not always greener and divorce is hell.
Did you go to marriage counseling? You must have loved him when you married him. I mean, if he doesn't abuse you and doesn't cheat on you, is it possible the problem is you? I think you may need to slow down, not be so hasty, and assess what the root of the problem is. The grass is not always greener and divorce is hell.
The OP didn't ask whether she should divorce -- she asked about the mechanics of separating. Although herquestion strikes me as a bit strange, you have no call to assume she doesn't have a good reason to split up.
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