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LOL, my SO and I were actually discussing this today...again. It seems obvious to me that we just aren't. I mean, we have set up this little system, but it doesn't seem to be working, given all the cheating, porn, etc.
I'm not married, but I've committed to never cheating, and I won't, but I don't think it's the natural order of things...
I don't think it's natural either, but I do think it's beneficial for society as a whole. I know that it's the only kind of relationship I could be in.
As Memphis stated, we have biological urges and are driven to do many things, but it is our capacity to control these urges that separate us from the rest of the animal kingdom, where their only imperative is their own survival and that of their species.
On the cheating, porn, etc... do you really think there is more of it or that we more openly talk about it? Interestingly, I was just talking about this with my husband and we think it's the latter.
It's not natural for us not to take things from one another, either, but people agree to certain rules, either through the law (such as theft), or by personal pact (such as in a marriage) to abide by "unnatural" boundaries.
I don't think it's natural either, but I do think it's beneficial for society as a whole.
As Memphis stated, we have biological urges and are driven to do many things, but it is our capacity to control these urges that separate us from the rest of the animal kingdom, where their only imperative is their own survival and that of their species.
On the cheating, porn, etc... do you really think there is more of it or that we more openly talk about it? Interestingly, I was just talking about this with my husband and we think it's the latter.
Well, I think porn is much more prevalent now, only because of there being SO MANY more types of media, and you don't have to be rich to get it.
I have no idea if cheating is more or less. On one hand it might be more because of transportation and the ease to go cheat. But on the other hand maybe they got all over the caves. One thing for certain is, we will never know...as nobody bragged about their ChEATINESS back then, like they do today.
(scratch that last part....Don Quioxote had that loser Sancho Panza as a hero.....so we will never know because Cavemen couldn't write.)
I don't think it's natural either, but I do think it's beneficial for society as a whole. I know that it's the only kind of relationship I could be in.
As Memphis stated, we have biological urges and are driven to do many things, but it is our capacity to control these urges that separate us from the rest of the animal kingdom, where their only imperative is their own survival and that of their species.
On the cheating, porn, etc... do you really think there is more of it or that we more openly talk about it? Interestingly, I was just talking about this with my husband and we think it's the latter.
Re the porn--I think there is much more it just by the technology that allows for wider distribution of print and electronic materials.
Cheating--I think I agree with you. I read a lot of history and there has always been a lot of cheating on spouses throughout the ages.
This would explain the high divorce rate we have in Canada. The best way never to get divorced is to never get married.
True, if you never get married, you'll never get divorced. That doesn't mean people who simply live together are more likely to stick together long term, or that they don't go through messy, prolonged, painful breakups.
This would explain the high divorce rate we have in Canada. The best way never to get divorced is to never get married.
Be careful about that. Some states in the US have introduced common law marriage. Which means you are married even though nobody asked. I have NO IDEA how those are legal...since it's an obvious power and money grab by Family Courts in those states.
BTW a list:
Alabama
Colorado
Georgia (if created before 1/1/97)
Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
Iowa
Kansas
Montana
New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only)
Ohio (if created before 10/10/91)
Oklahoma (possibly only if created before 11/1/98. Oklahoma's laws and court decisions may be in conflict about whether common law marriages formed in that state after 11/1/98 will be recognized.)
Pennsylvania (if created before 1/1/05)
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Texas
Utah
Washington, D.C.
(don't bother responding to this post if you hate women, or think I do...or you hate marriage, or think I do....only respond if you think the American Court System needs a MAJOR TWEAKING)
Last edited by JSizzle225; 05-30-2010 at 07:53 AM..
Reason: hedging my statement
Well, I think porn is much more prevalent now, only because of there being SO MANY more types of media, and you don't have to be rich to get it.
I have no idea if cheating is more or less. On one hand it might be more because of transportation and the ease to go cheat. But on the other hand maybe they got all over the caves. One thing for certain is, we will never know...as nobody bragged about their ChEATINESS back then, like they do today.
(scratch that last part....Don Quioxote had that loser Sancho Panza as a hero.....so we will never know because Cavemen couldn't write.)
I agree about the porn and it's accessibility today versus in the past. I should have rephrased what I said to maybe there were different alternatives to porn.
I'm not as well-versed in history as others, but I have a sense that a man going outside his marriage was more quietly accepted, so instead of a monogamous man looking at porn maybe back then he was actually cheating or getting a little visual entertainment on the side.
The wife probably accepted it. She had little power to do anything about it or about her husband stopping at the local bar for a few hours every day after work before he bothered getting home to his family. Those tavern wenches could have been his porn.
I think there is probably a lot of truth to the claim that human beings aren't naturally monogamous and that we would give dogs and cats a run for their money at beings the sluts of the animal kingdom. However a great many couples live their entire lives in a happy monogamous relationship so it seems to vary from one person to the next. The drawback to not being monogamous is that life is much more chaotic, particularly for children who don't grow up with two parents, and there is also a lack of stability but sexual urges are a very powerful influence and individuals who have the opportunity to have multiple partners will often do so.
Several researchers have already reported that women are naturally inclined to only stick around for about 4 years on average. This article applies that to western marriage and attempts to explain the statistical regularity of divorce at the 7 year mark.
Make no mistake, the average American ex-wife has a totally clear conscience about her dismissed ex-husband underwriting her lifestyle, one that after you may include Rolf, her personal trainer, doing naval shots from her tummy snifter two nights a week after you’ve left. Which isn’t nearly as insulting as the fact that steroid-boy doesn’t know the difference between Remy Martin X.O. and carburetor cleaner… (cretin). The least ‘roid-boy could do is marry her himself, and then he truly would be reaching for the carburetor cleaner.
I think there is probably a lot of truth to the claim that human beings aren't naturally monogamous and that we would give dogs and cats a run for their money at beings the sluts of the animal kingdom. However a great many couples live their entire lives in a happy monogamous relationship so it seems to vary from one person to the next. The drawback to not being monogamous is that life is much more chaotic, particularly for children who don't grow up with two parents, and there is also a lack of stability but sexual urges are a very powerful influence and individuals who have the opportunity to have multiple partners will often do so.
Although I think it'd be impossible to conduct an accurate survey of this, its my personal belief that there is infidelity in many long term relationships, and it either goes unnoticed, or ignored.
I do know many happy couples, who have been together for many years. Many of them keep their secrets.
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