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I have an honest question...
If we don't ever expose our kids to things that are out in the world (regardless if Harry Potter is or is not evil) while they are living within our care, how will they then react when they are 18-21 out on their own for the first time? I just remember a college sweetmate of mine, who really couldn't handle college life after being in a very strict Christian environment. At first she really wanted to go home and then she went WILD. It was so sad to see. I am just curious, if you take all un-pure things from your home, how do you prepare them for the world in which they live?
Again, I am honestly asking this. I am now a mother and I struggle with these things daily. I am not trying to stir the pot, I want to know what you think.
I have an honest question...
If we don't ever expose our kids to things that are out in the world (regardless if Harry Potter is or is not evil) while they are living within our care, how will they then react when they are 18-21 out on their own for the first time? I just remember a college sweetmate of mine, who really couldn't handle college life after being in a very strict Christian environment. At first she really wanted to go home and then she went WILD. It was so sad to see. I am just curious, if you take all un-pure things from your home, how do you prepare them for the world in which they live?
Again, I am honestly asking this. I am now a mother and I struggle with these things daily. I am not trying to stir the pot, I want to know what you think.
It's all about balance. My parents sheltered us from everything, and sure enough, when we struck out on our own we went crazy.
Conversally, if you allow everything, and stand for nothing, they will follow you in that, and allow anything, and stand for nothing, just like Mom.
So teach your children the word of God. Teach them reality of a personal God who loves them and wants to be involved in their lives.
But, IMO, don't make them only know all things Christian. It is setting them up for problems later.
IMHO, they should be exposed to some things in the world, with the parent there beside them to help them make choices..I have saw WAY too many young people who lived very sheltered lifes forced upon them by their parents that just literally "GO NUTS" in society. I guess that one reason im for public school, you meet a lot of different people and have to make choices, but..BUT you (they) have us as parents there to help them and guide them. I, as a parent, have very wide boundries as far as being strict. I think parents and their children need to discuss things vs. the "its wrong and not in our house" attitude, sure there are things I dont like, and dont want my children doing, but Im open anytime to discuss it with them, instead of trying to padlock them in the house and shelter them from everything. Teach them to pray, trust God, and know that things dont always go as planned...Just my 2 cents...
IMHO, they should be exposed to some things in the world, with the parent there beside them to help them make choices..I have saw WAY too many young people who lived very sheltered lifes forced upon them by their parents that just literally "GO NUTS" in society. I guess that one reason im for public school, you meet a lot of different people and have to make choices, but..BUT you (they) have us as parents there to help them and guide them. I, as a parent, have very wide boundries as far as being strict. I think parents and their children need to discuss things vs. the "its wrong and not in our house" attitude, sure there are things I dont like, and dont want my children doing, but Im open anytime to discuss it with them, instead of trying to padlock them in the house and shelter them from everything. Teach them to pray, trust God, and know that things dont always go as planned...Just my 2 cents...
Another rep point from me! Balanced view, IMO. You've got to trust your kids...but keep 'em on a short leash. LOL
Another rep point from me! Balanced view, IMO. You've got to trust your kids...but keep 'em on a short leash. LOL
well we def agree on this subject...long enough leash to let them explore, but short enuff to give it a big tug if needed. Cant rep u jeff...but tried..
NOTE....leash is figurtively speaking...no children of mine were ever on a REAL leash...
My children have grown up exposed to many more things than I was. They have been allowed almost any tv they wished to watch, any music or literature they wish to read. My daughter surprised me when she bought a collected works of Shakespeare while in third grade on her own initiative.
We have been frank and open with them discussing anything they wish to discuss. We have not gone the route of trying to shield them from anything, including those things we find personally offensive. We have not been shy about expressing our beliefs about topics and ideas, but we do not try to block their examination either.
My daughter is 16 and has not felt the need to experiment with drugs, alcohol or sex. She has friends and occasionally goes out with groups and likes to talk to and about boys, but has not expressed a dating intrest in any specific boys yet. Most she claims are too immature, too poor, or not smart enough. She still enjoys being with her parents and while still demonstates many of the common tendencies of teenagers as evident from her enthusiasm towards chores and housework, she has not gone through any of the serious rebellion phases I recall my friends, and even I, were tempted to partake in.
She appears to have a very healthy attitude toward many things children are drawn to out of curiosity or due to it's forbidden nature. Overall I feel she is a very mature girl, although sometimes too mature. At least she also approaches relationships with that same serious examination. She has not exhibited any serious crushes or infatuations, but she has been known to flirt a bit from time to time when she doesn't know her daddy is watching.
My son is a bit older and although raised similarly, has shown a bit more interest in experimentation than his sister. He enjoys light social drinking, although none of the rest of us do more than the holiday season type drinking. He has moved in with several women over the years without the ritual of marriage, despite that none of his family condone that either. He has felt free to make his own decisions and aside from these two more liberal attitudes and a serious lack of financial aptitude, he has avoided many of the traps young adults face.
My advice would be to be sure they are well versed in your beliefs and attitudes, but do not hide anything from them. They will find out sooner than later, wouldn't you prefer to be the one explaining things rather than the 12 year old down the street? It really helps the relationship if they know they can expect the truth from you without molding it to fit your desires.
I recall the joke I used to hear. "Why are the deacon's kids so unruly? They hang around with the preacher's kids." There is a lot of truth in our jokes, even if we don't like to admit it.
Sheltering your children from real life is always bad. It's hard to balance when to allow them to do things, and what information they are ready to process. I always let them come to me with questions, then they get an ear full...if a subject seems to have passed them by I may ask if they have any questions about it and let them know the door is open. But it's difficult and balance and honesty is the key.
Of course if that doesn't work I am saving for therapy for them, I figure they can get loans to pay for college.
NOTE....leash is figurtively speaking...no children of mine were ever on a REAL leash...
My friend's mother had her and then twins 11 months later. She remembers when she was little playing in the front yard while her twin brother and sister were tethered to the garage door...evidently it was the only way her mother could keep track of them!
Are there people out there that disagree? I am just curious....this kinda came out of the thread about Harry Potter. Thanks for all of your posts so far!
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...evidently it was the only way her mother could keep track of them!
