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I need your help.
And BTW, I'm open to any scripture - that is any religious doctrine, even good philosophy.
I like truth, "wherever it is found."
I've read that up to 80% of mental illness may be rooted in misunderstandings of doctrine.
Many churches entertain common cognitive distortions.
I want to correct these for my kids, with the use of scriptures, and good quotes.
Please let me know any scriptures or thoughts that would help correct the following cognitive distortions.
Thanks in advance!
So far, this is what I have....
1. Filtering: filtering out positive aspects of a situation while magnifying negative. Catastrophizing – magnifying or minimizing, expecting disaster. Disqualifying the positive or negative.
“Test all things;hold fast what is good.” -1 Thess 5:21
2. Bi-polar thinking: black- or white (when often it is a mix)
“Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.” - John 8:32
3. Overgeneralization– something happens once, but general conclusions are based on that one happening
*Jumping to conclusions – concluding with out knowing orconsidering all of the facts
Global Labeling – Generalizing
Rethink: I consider all the facts… & even possibilities that I may be unaware of.
I realize that people don’t think or feel as I do – we each are unique – so I’m careful about my conclusions… We can’t help but conclude/judge – to protect ourselves & others – yet I still keep an open mind, realizing I, nor others are perfect, nor do we communicate & interpret perfectly.
“Be transformed bythe renewing of your mind.” –Rom 12:2
4.*Personalization – taking things personally, comparing
Rethink: Myself-esteem comes from myself, not from others. Even when someone purposefully puts me down, I realize there are many ways to interpret it & before taking it “to heart” – I consider the source’s credibility &if there is any truth to their actions/words.
“Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never supposed.” -Moses 1:10
5. *ControlFallacies – Viewing ourselves victim to external controls, or internalizingothers pain (to feel control)
Rethink: I am authority over my thoughts, feelings & actions. I am captain of my own soul.
Others pain is theirs… I have compassion in harmony with compassion for myself & what seems best.
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”-Proverbs 3:5-6
6. *Blaming – holding others responsible for our pain, or blaming ourselves for others pain
Rethink: I am responsible for my happiness. Others are responsible for their happiness. We can help each other here & there – but that is only temporary help, whereas the real source of happiness is within each of us.
“For as a manthinks in his heart, so is he.” – Pro 23:7
7. *Shoulds – making rules about everything –especially unrealistic rules (ie perfection) - & inducing shame when rules aren’t kept.
Rethink: I focus onwhat I’ve achieved… & with positive encouragement also focus on what I wantto achieve and improve… while also I realize nobody’s perfect & I’m ok with that.
“Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow…”-Mat 6:28
8. *Fallacy of Change – Thinking we can change others &then we’ll be happy (both aren’t true)
Rethink: Others are the way they are… & often have been that way for a while… momentum doesn’t change easily & I don’t expect others to change. I accept that they are the way they are… Even if they changed, there are still countless other possible conflicts. Nobody’s perfect & no relationship is perfect either.
“Be still and know that I am God.” – Psalms 46:10
9. *Always being right – Continually on trial to prove our opinions & actions are correct
Rethink: I’m not always right & I’m ok with that. Nobody is always right because nobody’s all-knowing. It’s ok. Also, I’m ok if people question me… they can question & I don’t have to explain anything, unless I want to.
“…hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?” -1Cor1:20
10. *Fallacy of Fairness – Constantly looking for fairness & being disappointed (because life often isn’t fair)
Rethink: I have my own goals and value system. Although, I respect schedules, my overall priority is to be loyal to the promptings of spiritual creativity within me… which cannot be compared withothers. Somtimes life is not fair in my favor, sometimes others' favor.
“God is no respector of persons.”
11. *Emotional Reasoning – thinking feelings are facts (when they aren’t)
Rethink: What I feel is based on my thoughts. I know when & how to rearrange my thinking. Although, I accept what I feel for the emotion it is, but I realize it’snot fact & only one interpretation out of many possible interpretations.
(“Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.”)
12. Heaven’s Reward Fallacy – Belief that if you suffer enough, the pay-off will be worth it after-life
Rethink: Now is all we experience, since we do not time travel in the past or future. “Men ARE (present tense) that they might havejoy.” God is “I am that I am” – again present tense. This life is lived in the present moment, so I do my best to love others as well as myself – these are most important above all. Love involves striving for what is best – sometimes that involves suffering, but not always and necessarily. Although, life is essentially more of a school than a vacation, there are many opportunities to enjoy and life does not require extra suffering. In fact, extra suffering leads to more suffering of others. There is clean paina nd dirty pain – clean pain is natural, even necessary suffering for good. Dirty pain is the extra burden we add in how we dwell on misery and or dysfunctional thoughts.
“Let the dead bury the dead… God is not a god of the dead, but of the living.”
A lot of those quotes don't apply very well to the problem, some actually inspire the opposite of solving the problem. Your kids might not appreciate quotes as teaching material; you should probably use stories you know or have heard from others, that apply to their problems. You and your kids can mutually learn from each other.
“A wise man will hear, & will increase learning.” –Proverbs 1:5
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; & he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” –Provebs 16:32
“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper; but whoso confesseth & forsaketh them shall have mercy.” –Proverbs 28:13 (especially if you consider sin=incorrect thought at the root)
“For precept must be upon precept…line upon line… here a little, & there a little.” –Isaiah:28:10
“Execute true judgment, & shew mercy & compassions [to one another].”-Zechariah 7:9
“According to your faith (belief) be it unto you.” –Matt 9:29
“He that findeth his life (pride) shall lose it: & he that loseth his life for my (truth/love’s) sake shall find it.” –Matt 10:39
“And ye shall know the truth (with effort – reason & spirit) & the truth shall make you free.” –John 8:32
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance.” –Galatians 5:22-23
For jumping to conclusion and other types of filtering:
“The simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going.” –Proberbs 14:15
“Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.” –John 7:24
Please explain in detail, exactly which quotes and in what way "inspire the opposite of solving the problem."
Also, please, give me better examples of scriptures or quotes that refute the cognitive distortions listed.
Thanks.
Well for example, I came back to this thread and didn't even remember that I had ever responded. Then my response seemed completely left-field to me. Then I released that I judged the whole thing on the first few that I noticed were negative. I did that "filtering" thing. But the reason that I did the "filtering" thing was because I was trying to "hold fast to what is good" and telling you to tell your children applicable parables/stories instead. So indeed, the first quote was inspiring the opposite of solving the problem. How much are you supposed to test something before you hold fast to it as being good? A lot of people are conned because they think they know the con and test it and find out that the thing they thought was the catch wasn't (and thus they miss the real catch). This is a common psychological finding that even magicians know about: do a trick that has 2 ways of being done, know that the audience knows only 1 way that it is done as a trick (or show them the one trick first) then tell them the other way is real magic and they are very likely to believe or have extreme cognitive dissonance at not believing the "non-trick" since it wasn't done the "known trick" way.
I think the other quotes I noticed were the fifth and the seventh one, the 5th quote can inspire you to think that since you are aligned with God you are in control or "external" God is in control or that if you believe the Lord is pained, your pain matters not in comparison. the 7th quote can inspire people to do as much as a lily does or worry as much as a bird does... when instead they should be trying to change themselves to be "more perfect."
Well for example, I came back to this thread and didn't even remember that I had ever responded. Then my response seemed completely left-field to me. Then I released that I judged the whole thing on the first few that I noticed were negative. I did that "filtering" thing. But the reason that I did the "filtering" thing was because I was trying to "hold fast to what is good" and telling you to tell your children applicable parables/stories instead. So indeed, the first quote was inspiring the opposite of solving the problem. How much are you supposed to test something before you hold fast to it as being good? A lot of people are conned because they think they know the con and test it and find out that the thing they thought was the catch wasn't (and thus they miss the real catch). This is a common psychological finding that even magicians know about: do a trick that has 2 ways of being done, know that the audience knows only 1 way that it is done as a trick (or show them the one trick first) then tell them the other way is real magic and they are very likely to believe or have extreme cognitive dissonance at not believing the "non-trick" since it wasn't done the "known trick" way.
I think the other quotes I noticed were the fifth and the seventh one, the 5th quote can inspire you to think that since you are aligned with God you are in control or "external" God is in control or that if you believe the Lord is pained, your pain matters not in comparison. the 7th quote can inspire people to do as much as a lily does or worry as much as a bird does... when instead they should be trying to change themselves to be "more perfect."
Thanks.
If you took anything - including those scriptures - to extreme, it could be cognitive distortion. But I think generally, it's good to think things through - to test them - to play devil's advocate and really look at it from multiple perspectives, and THEN pick what's best and leave the rest.
Growing up, I was taught to believe that God was a being outside of me - like a grandpa in the sky. Now, I realize that "the kingdom of God is within." God is the highest good - that intuitive nature within us that knows much more than the smartest genius. #5 works if you consider trusting in the best within us rather than trusting in our own pride/ego.
Re: #7... again, moderation. The "should" distortion is about shame attached to goals, but it doesn't mean to be lazy and not have goals. For me personally, I tend to worry too much about the past or future - to beat myself up over things, so that scripture about the lilies is helpful.
10. *Fallacy of Fairness – Constantly looking for fairness & being disappointed (because life often isn’t fair)
Rethink: I have my own goals and value system. Although, I respect schedules, my overall priority is to be loyal to the promptings of spiritual creativity within me… which cannot be compared withothers. Somtimes life is not fair in my favor, sometimes others' favor.
“God is no respector of persons.”
This is the one that gets me. Things could be more fair and they are not and I can get agitated over that. It's not so much about it being fair to me that bothers me it's more what I see when I look into the world. I realize I have an idealistic streak but I'm not sure what to do with it. Any thoughts? I'm off to see what the Buddhist have to say but I'm interested in any philosophy.
10. *Fallacy of Fairness – Constantly looking for fairness & being disappointed (because life often isn’t fair)
Rethink: I have my own goals and value system. Although, I respect schedules, my overall priority is to be loyal to the promptings of spiritual creativity within me… which cannot be compared withothers. Somtimes life is not fair in my favor, sometimes others' favor.
“God is no respector of persons.”
This is the one that gets me. Things could be more fair and they are not and I can get agitated over that. It's not so much about it being fair to me that bothers me it's more what I see when I look into the world. I realize I have an idealistic streak but I'm not sure what to do with it. Any thoughts? I'm off to see what the Buddhist have to say but I'm interested in any philosophy.
I think I understand.
As with nearly everything, I believe it's a matter of perspective. If you press your nose against a wall in your house and open your eyes, your horizon is limited. As is your forward progress.
However, if you stepped back a tad, you'd see a doorway on your right and a set of stairs off to your left.
Your horizon, your worldview, would expand.
Sometimes life isn't fair. Sometimes it seems more than fair. Ofttimes it's b'twixt and b'tween.
And nearly always it depends on one's perspective at a particular point in space and time.
Which, if we're lucky enough to awaken the next morning, will be subject to change.
As with nearly everything, I believe it's a matter of perspective. If you press your nose against a wall in your house and open your eyes, your horizon is limited. As is your forward progress.
However, if you stepped back a tad, you'd see a doorway on your right and a set of stairs off to your left.
Your horizon, your worldview, would expand.
Sometimes life isn't fair. Sometimes it seems more than fair. Ofttimes it's b'twixt and b'tween.
And nearly always it depends on one's perspective at a particular point in space and time.
Which, if we're lucky enough to awaken the next morning, will be subject to change.
It's funny you should say that Trout. Lately I have been wanting to scream at a few on the Christianity threads that they have their noses too close to their papers. Usually when I notice someone doing something it's a clear indication that I am too.
Thanks
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