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Mine is having a Christmas party / fund raiser tonight.
Obviously, it being the first night we HAVE to do the candle lighting thing, eating fried food thing, and playing board games thing so we cannot go to the party. He's furious that he's missing our on the fund raiser and I'm not sure if I should be mad or not. Am I wrong to be irate at the school?
It just seems like it would not have been so difficult to have the party on a non Hanukah night. Oh and the next fund raiser is a showing of the movie The Santa Clause which he will have to miss as well since it is, in essence, a Christmas movie.
We just moved to Dallas from Indianapolis and it is amazing to me that a school district in this huge metropolis is more unaware than one in the Midwest.
Mine is having a Christmas party / fund raiser tonight.
Obviously, it being the first night we HAVE to do the candle lighting thing, eating fried food thing, and playing board games thing so we cannot go to the party. He's furious that he's missing our on the fund raiser and I'm not sure if I should be mad or not. Am I wrong to be irate at the school?
It just seems like it would not have been so difficult to have the party on a non Hanukah night. Oh and the next fund raiser is a showing of the movie The Santa Clause which he will have to miss as well since it is, in essence, a Christmas movie.
We just moved to Dallas from Indianapolis and it is amazing to me that a school district in this huge metropolis is more unaware than one in the Midwest.
That sucks, and I completely feel your frustration! As you said in the other thread, it would be nice if others would show a little sensitivity... it's not that we (you) don't want to attend these festivities, but for cryin' out loud - do they have to schedule it on the FIRST night of Chanukah?? I can bet money if the situation were reversed, all the Christmas-celebrators would be irate... just as they'd feel if they were asked to work on every Christian holiday, as Jewish people are expected with ours.
Reminds me of the Sandy Koufax story, where he refused to play a World Series game on Yom Kippur, and fans were actually mad at HIM. Uh, the whole issue could've been avoided, if they'd bothered to look at a calendar. And I highly doubt his Judaism was a surprise/secret, especially considering his very Semitic name... so if they had half a brain, they wouldn't have scheduled the game on Yom Kippur (holiest day of the year), knowing their pitcher was Jewish.
Mine is having a Christmas party / fund raiser tonight.
Obviously, it being the first night we HAVE to do the candle lighting thing, eating fried food thing, and playing board games thing so we cannot go to the party. He's furious that he's missing our on the fund raiser and I'm not sure if I should be mad or not. Am I wrong to be irate at the school?
It just seems like it would not have been so difficult to have the party on a non Hanukah night. Oh and the next fund raiser is a showing of the movie The Santa Clause which he will have to miss as well since it is, in essence, a Christmas movie.
We just moved to Dallas from Indianapolis and it is amazing to me that a school district in this huge metropolis is more unaware than one in the Midwest.
I would bet that the school system doesn't have many Jewish kids in it. Not that it should matter because I agree, it seems to me they could have put the fund raiser on another night. As a Christian, I wouldn't be offended if someone complained about the choice in nights.
I would bet that the school system doesn't have many Jewish kids in it. Not that it should matter because I agree, it seems to me they could have put the fund raiser on another night. As a Christian, I wouldn't be offended if someone complained about the choice in nights.
Thanks for the response. I have a feeling no one would mind either but I hate to be the one parent who makes things 'difficult'. I think its just basic ignorance and have to figure out a tactful way to bring it to the school district's attention. After all, I can see them saying "Do you expect us to accomodate to all the Hindu, Muslim, buddhist, pagan, etc holidays too??"
I wonder if it has to do with just two things:
1) that there aren't very many Jewish children at this school
2) no Jewish families came forward to object to the scheduled festivities when they were initially scheduled.
In either case I doubt it has much to do with money, but instead more to do with awareness that there are adults/children who are offended or inconvenienced. I wouldn't complain unless you come forward next time to raise awareness AND then nothing is done to accomodate.
Last edited by belovenow; 12-05-2007 at 01:56 PM..
Thanks for the response. I have a feeling no one would mind either but I hate to be the one parent who makes things 'difficult'. I think its just basic ignorance and have to figure out a tactful way to bring it to the school district's attention. After all, I can see them saying "Do you expect us to accomodate to all the Hindu, Muslim, buddhist, pagan, etc holidays too??"
I know - it is a tough call, because it's awful to be called a trouble-maker, or to get that old "these people eye-roll." Maybe you could phrase it as a suggestion, and explain how your child was disappointed about not attending the fundraiser... say something like "We were so looking forward to the event, but unfortunately it coincided with the first night of Chanukah. Any chance you could schedule around the holidays next time?" Tact is key in these situations.
By the time you would have complained anyway, it probably would have already been on the calendar and therefore schools are pretty unwilling to change. At least that's been my experience. I've gotten it both ways. In elementary school, my chorus teacher felt bad that I had to sing all the Christmas songs along with the chorus as the only Jew in the entire school- so she gave me a solo song at both the Christmas pageant (normally a bunch of holiday related skits) and at the chorus concert. I know NOW that she was just trying her hardest to make sure I felt included, but gosh darnit that's not the way to do it with a very shy, sensitive 9 year old! :P
On the flipside, I actually had to take an issue up with my principal in high school when my band director nazi told me that Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur were not reasons to miss marching band practice! Not games, not even competitions, but PRACTICES. He told me that they weren't "important enough" to warrant me missing and that if I wasn't there, I wouldn't letter. I got it resolved but ended up quitting band at the end of the year because I was so upset by the way I was treated over the situation.
I would definitely bring it up to either the teacher or a principal for future reference. I'm sure it wasn't something maliciously done, but it could remedied in the future so neither you nor your son or any other Jewish kids would have to feel left out.
By the time you would have complained anyway, it probably would have already been on the calendar and therefore schools are pretty unwilling to change. At least that's been my experience. I've gotten it both ways. In elementary school, my chorus teacher felt bad that I had to sing all the Christmas songs along with the chorus as the only Jew in the entire school- so she gave me a solo song at both the Christmas pageant (normally a bunch of holiday related skits) and at the chorus concert. I know NOW that she was just trying her hardest to make sure I felt included, but gosh darnit that's not the way to do it with a very shy, sensitive 9 year old! :P
On the flipside, I actually had to take an issue up with my principal in high school when my band director nazi told me that Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur were not reasons to miss marching band practice! Not games, not even competitions, but PRACTICES. He told me that they weren't "important enough" to warrant me missing and that if I wasn't there, I wouldn't letter. I got it resolved but ended up quitting band at the end of the year because I was so upset by the way I was treated over the situation.
I would definitely bring it up to either the teacher or a principal for future reference. I'm sure it wasn't something maliciously done, but it could remedied in the future so neither you nor your son or any other Jewish kids would have to feel left out.
I agree. I would bring it up now for next year so they don't claim they don't have enough time to change the date. Plus, they would see that you could have easily brought it up beforehand, but chose to wait after even though your kids were the ones who weren't able to attend.
It's weird, because in my school system in New Jersey growing up, I could swear we had Rosh Hoshanah and Yom Kippur off.
I agree. I would bring it up now for next year so they don't claim they don't have enough time to change the date. Plus, they would see that you could have easily brought it up beforehand, but chose to wait after even though your kids were the ones who weren't able to attend.
It's weird, because in my school system in New Jersey growing up, I could swear we had Rosh Hoshanah and Yom Kippur off.
Thanks for the suggestions guys. I don't think it was malicious in the least - just ignorant. I suppose the only way to make sure that something like this don't happen is to become more involved in the school and bring things like this gently to their attention. I know Jewish people are a minority in this country and particularly in this suburb but, really, in this day and age . . .
I suppose I've been spoiled. When I was a kid the school wasn't technically allowed to give us days off for Rosh Ha Shanah and Yom Kippur (wasn't on the list of vacation days) so they would call them something else - teacher training day, Bonus days, etc. I suppose having a Jewish principal on the board helped
On the flipside, I actually had to take an issue up with my principal in high school when my band director nazi told me that Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur were not reasons to miss marching band practice! Not games, not even competitions, but PRACTICES. He told me that they weren't "important enough" to warrant me missing and that if I wasn't there, I wouldn't letter. I got it resolved but ended up quitting band at the end of the year because I was so upset by the way I was treated over the situation.
I had a very similar experience in high school, where a teacher (who was an exchange-teacher from Germany, nonetheless) tried to fail the Jewish kids for missing a test scheduled on Yom Kippur... there were about 4 of us, in a class of maybe 20, so we're not talking 1/100 or anything. We took the issue up with our vice-principal, who promptly reversed the Fs & sent the teacher packing back to Germany. Thank goodness it was a liberal, private, California school, or that could have gotten messy!
While we're ranting, mind if I add one? I tried to buy Chanukah candles last night at Walgreens... this is in San Francisco, not exactly a small town, so I fully expected to find a box there. We're walking through the store, and a commercial over the loudspeaker announces "Come to Walgreens for the best selection in Christmas, Chanukah, and other holiday supplies" - Yay, they're going to have some candles! Or so I thought... of course there was NOTHING Chanukah in sight, aside from a few cards stuck above the Christmas ones. I asked a clerk for help, who gave me that dumb "huh?" look, and directed me to votive candles. Noooooo, I need the ones for Chanukah, you know, that Jewish holiday happening right now? Needless to say, 3 clerks (one was a manager) later, they still had no idea what I wanted or where to find it... one even suggested I check back closer to Christmas, which is too ridiculous & insulting for words. So thanks to Walgreens' idiocy, I had to miss lighting the candles last night, since it was too late by then to go on a city-wide hunt. And some people think there's a war against Christmas?? Oy vey! As I said to my roommate, who was shopping with me - this is how it feels to be Jewish in America.
Last edited by gizmo980; 12-06-2007 at 05:41 AM..
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As you said in the other thread, it would be nice if others would show a little sensitivity... it's not that we (you) don't want to attend these festivities, but for cryin' out loud - do they have to schedule it on the FIRST night of Chanukah?? I can bet money if the situation were reversed, all the Christmas-celebrators would be irate... just as they'd feel if they were asked to work on every Christian holiday, as Jewish people are expected with ours. 
And I highly doubt his Judaism was a surprise/secret, especially considering his very Semitic name... so if they had half a brain, they wouldn't have scheduled the game on Yom Kippur (holiest day of the year), knowing their pitcher was Jewish.
I tried to buy Chanukah candles last night at Walgreens... this is in San Francisco, not exactly a small town, so I fully expected to find a box there. We're walking through the store, and a commercial over the loudspeaker announces "Come to Walgreens for the best selection in Christmas, Chanukah, and other holiday supplies" - Yay, they're going to have some candles! Or so I thought... of course there was NOTHING Chanukah in sight, aside from a few cards stuck above the Christmas ones. I asked a clerk for help, who gave me that dumb "huh?" look, and directed me to votive candles. Noooooo, I need the ones for Chanukah, you know, that Jewish holiday happening right now? Needless to say, 3 clerks (one was a manager) later, they still had no idea what I wanted or where to find it... one even suggested I check back closer to Christmas, which is too ridiculous & insulting for words. 
