Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: In a little house on the prairie - literally
10,202 posts, read 7,926,708 times
Reputation: 4561
Advertisements
What?
Clergy that are agnostic or atheist?
Yes, there are a growing number of clergy who because they do study religious texts, and are intelligent and open minded, come to the realization that ancient myths are just that - myths.
The problem is, many of these have invested a major portion of their life into being a member of the clergy, and have no marketable skills of any other kind. As such, they are trapped. How does a 45 or 55 hear old member of the clergy support themselves and their family if the only thing they know is what training they got in seminary and subsequent religious study?
I was an altar boy for several years in the late 50s and early 60s. I served with several priests over those years, two of whom later left the priesthood. I don't know if they left because they no longer believed in God, or if any of a hundred other reasons may have told them they were on a wrong path. I just know they were good-hearted, honest men.
As a minister I completely understand where these folks are coming from. While I am not an unbeliever, I will say the longer I serve and the more I study, the more I question and doubt aspects of Christianity.
Currently I am on a self-imposed sabbatical having moved back to the U.S. from Canada and am using that time to discern what path I want to take going forward. Yes I am seeking a call at a church, but I am also very picky in who I apply to as I am not prepared to go into a church that dictates I must believe "X".
In the past I talked with a couple of minister friends about this, one understood and was in a similar situation; the other pretty much called me a heretic. Since then I keep my thoughts to myself and figure out what next in life. I'm not prepared to go back to my previous career, but am open to considering other things.
Good or bad (or right or wrong), it was one they honestly could not put off making.
Quote:
Originally Posted by revrandy
As a minister I completely understand where these folks are coming from. While I am not an unbeliever, I will say the longer I serve and the more I study, the more I question and doubt aspects of Christianity.
Currently I am on a self-imposed sabbatical having moved back to the U.S. from Canada and am using that time to discern what path I want to take going forward. Yes I am seeking a call at a church, but I am also very picky in who I apply to as I am not prepared to go into a church that dictates I must believe "X".
In the past I talked with a couple of minister friends about this, one understood and was in a similar situation; the other pretty much called me a heretic. Since then I keep my thoughts to myself and figure out what next in life. I'm not prepared to go back to my previous career, but am open to considering other things.
I can understand those who still believe in God and even the Gospel Jesus, but have doubts about organized religion. Ministers in that situation will have the same need of support as those who have let go of Theism entirely.
I will always be grateful to the Clergy Project, because they were a huge support system for me when I first came to terms with no longer being a believer. I just felt so alone during that time, because the Mr. was still a pastor, and pretty much my only "family" was that church. I didn't even tell the Mr. until after he resigned a year or so later, because I didn't want him to have to give up what he loved because of me. He resigned because the direction the church was taking, as well as the toll it took on our marriage (we had quietly separated for about 6 months); the leadership was growing increasingly conservative and making a lot of questionable changes, so he decided it would be best to leave because it was a battle that he could not win.
So after 14 years there, we suddenly found ourselves with no income and, because we lived in a parsonage... nowhere to live. I won't even get into how hard it is to get an apartment in metro NY, let alone with 3 small children, and no job... but we eventually did find a place, and that's only because we were able to fork over $9,000 for the security deposit. Thank goodness we are diligent savers, or we would have been homeless. Or forced to stick it out at the church just to keep a roof over our heads.
Anyway, it was hell. Our entire world was ripped out from under us, the Mr. was devastated when the congregation turned their backs on us after so many years of service and dedication. ***holes. He had no one to talk to who could possibly understand what he was going through, so I told him about the Clergy Project and how much they had helped me. He ended up contacting them, and (even though he is still a believer) they really helped him process everything that was happening, and how to deal with completely rebuilding his life after leaving ministry.
The only reasons we fared as well as we did is because we had money in the bank (some savings and my 401K from when I was working full-time), and because the Mr. had marketable skills and a lot of connections in the community. A lot of these guys leave with literally nothing: a specialized degree that is virtually useless outside of the church circuit, no money, no family support, many ended up divorced over leaving the church. That actually happened to close friends of ours, as the wife had always wanted to be a pastor's wife and could not cope with him getting a regular job and no longer going to church. We know a couple of other pastors who went back to the ministry because they couldn't support their families on odd jobs. No one can understand how difficult and traumatic leaving ministry is unless they've actual been through it, which is exactly why this organization exists.
As a minister I completely understand where these folks are coming from. While I am not an unbeliever, I will say the longer I serve and the more I study, the more I question and doubt aspects of Christianity.
Currently I am on a self-imposed sabbatical having moved back to the U.S. from Canada and am using that time to discern what path I want to take going forward. Yes I am seeking a call at a church, but I am also very picky in who I apply to as I am not prepared to go into a church that dictates I must believe "X".
In the past I talked with a couple of minister friends about this, one understood and was in a similar situation; the other pretty much called me a heretic. Since then I keep my thoughts to myself and figure out what next in life. I'm not prepared to go back to my previous career, but am open to considering other things.
Write down, what you believe in, and don't believe in. This not only helps keep you from being swallowed by other people's nothings of what you believe, but it helps you determine what you want from a church. You might decide you could go pagan. Or atheist. Or animist.
Location: In a little house on the prairie - literally
10,202 posts, read 7,926,708 times
Reputation: 4561
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete
I will always be grateful to the Clergy Project, because they were a huge support system for me when I first came to terms with no longer being a believer. I just felt so alone during that time, because the Mr. was still a pastor, and pretty much my only "family" was that church. I didn't even tell the Mr. until after he resigned a year or so later, because I didn't want him to have to give up what he loved because of me. He resigned because the direction the church was taking, as well as the toll it took on our marriage (we had quietly separated for about 6 months); the leadership was growing increasingly conservative and making a lot of questionable changes, so he decided it would be best to leave because it was a battle that he could not win.
So after 14 years there, we suddenly found ourselves with no income and, because we lived in a parsonage... nowhere to live. I won't even get into how hard it is to get an apartment in metro NY, let alone with 3 small children, and no job... but we eventually did find a place, and that's only because we were able to fork over $9,000 for the security deposit. Thank goodness we are diligent savers, or we would have been homeless. Or forced to stick it out at the church just to keep a roof over our heads.
Anyway, it was hell. Our entire world was ripped out from under us, the Mr. was devastated when the congregation turned their backs on us after so many years of service and dedication. ***holes. He had no one to talk to who could possibly understand what he was going through, so I told him about the Clergy Project and how much they had helped me. He ended up contacting them, and (even though he is still a believer) they really helped him process everything that was happening, and how to deal with completely rebuilding his life after leaving ministry.
The only reasons we fared as well as we did is because we had money in the bank (some savings and my 401K from when I was working full-time), and because the Mr. had marketable skills and a lot of connections in the community. A lot of these guys leave with literally nothing: a specialized degree that is virtually useless outside of the church circuit, no money, no family support, many ended up divorced over leaving the church. That actually happened to close friends of ours, as the wife had always wanted to be a pastor's wife and could not cope with him getting a regular job and no longer going to church. We know a couple of other pastors who went back to the ministry because they couldn't support their families on odd jobs. No one can understand how difficult and traumatic leaving ministry is unless they've actual been through it, which is exactly why this organization exists.
It truly is sad to hear your story.
This short book was written by a fellow who was in the same Rotary club as me. He was one year away from completing his Doctor of Divinity, when he was forced out of his church. The primary reason was because his wife decided to leave him while he was on course. A horrible double whammy, one leading to the other.
I have and had a lot of respect for him, even though our religious viewpoints could not be more different. However seeing what he went through as more and more reinforced my distaste for religion and religious institutions. How could a church turn their back on their senior pastor who have counseled them for over a decade, due to the fact that his wife decided that she wanted a different life.
Rob survived. I don't know if he got involved with the clergy project or not, as those were very stressful and hurtful times for him. Regardless, he did catch his feet again and is doing well now.
Why are churches so cruel to their members? It seems that they have no desire to live what is being preached. They certainly are not what they suggest a true Christian should be doing.
But then, we have seen much unchristian like behavior from so-called Christians on this board.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
