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"Forgiveness is not for them, it's for you" never made sense to me. You can't effectively extend forgiveness without someone receiving it. It is absolutely for them.
Upon forgiving others, a lot of people feel like "heroes of Mercy" and can socially milk such responses for the benefit of their status. People will not like something who is too hard to get along with... But you are right, most social circles accept that there are "unacceptable" extremes that don't deserve unmerited forgiveness.
The other thing is that people's general emotions affect ALL of their interactions. So then, staying angry at some far-away random can affect how much they are capable of having positive interactions with others (though this isn't a rule set in stone).
Also sometimes, people are angry at themselves and don't want to let others know... if you forgive the perp, then there is little way that you could not forgive yourself.
Upon forgiving others, a lot of people feel like "heroes of Mercy" and can socially milk such responses for the benefit of their status. People will not like something who is too hard to get along with... But you are right, most social circles accept that there are "unacceptable" extremes that don't deserve unmerited forgiveness.
The other thing is that people's general emotions affect ALL of their interactions. So then, staying angry at some far-away random can affect how much they are capable of having positive interactions with others (though this isn't a rule set in stone).
Also sometimes, people are angry at themselves and don't want to let others know... if you forgive the perp, then there is little way that you could not forgive yourself.
I found that to be true. It seemed like practice to forgive others and then I was able to forgive myself for my own mistakes. Eventually, forgiveness turned into understanding.
..."Forgiveness is not for them, it's for you" never made sense to me. You can't effectively extend forgiveness without someone receiving it. It is absolutely for them.
it never made sense to you because you don't understand what it is and how it works in terms of healing.
forgiveness IS for you, not for them.
Somebody decided the best way to participate in a discussion in the Religion and Spirituality forum was to copy a post from the Politics and Other Controversies forum and then proceed to reply to it here. I've never seen that work out well.
Making it more difficult, the post quoting features in the forum software were not used, making it considerably more difficult for people to find the quoted posts, and a great deal more time consuming for me to figure out what had been done.
Quote posts correctly. If you don't know how, read about it here: https://www.city-data.com/forum/faq/ If problems persist with quoting posts, report the post with the problem or ask for help via Direct Messages. Don't leave the posts with incorrectly quoted portions. A properly quoted post has a "link back" symbol after the quoted member's name so people can go back and read the quoted post in its original context.
Members participating in the Religion and Spirituality forum are assumed to have read the rules. They are posted at the top of the forum, and also at the top of most of the sub-forums. In these forums, the use of red text is reserved for moderation actions (like this post). This rule exists across City-Data, but is emphasized here because some people like to use red text when quoting some parts of Scripture.
I found that to be true. It seemed like practice to forgive others and then I was able to forgive myself for my own mistakes. Eventually, forgiveness turned into understanding.
And understanding is the hallmark of true acceptance.
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Compulsory love/forgiveness and the demonization of anger and hatred
That's what I call forgive and forget.
