My 7 year old grandson crying himself to sleep because of Christian scare tactics. (reincarnation, quotes)

[LLCNYC]

Everyone will be confronted by other people's beliefs at some point. Have to deal with it.

If I take my kid to the library, and it's suddenly "drag queens reading hour"? I don't do the whole "drag queen" thing but should I flip out, get enraged? I don't want them to "put their beliefs" on me. What should I tell them? "Keep your beliefs in your head & house!!!!!

What if my kid gets anxiety around such people?

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by Pleroo

I know that being raised in a Christian fundamentalist home, I dealt with a great deal of anxiety. The fear of God and hell was always at the forefront of my mind. And I wish no child would have those things foisted on them. But, I've also acknowledged that other people, raised in the same type of environment did not internalize those things in the same way that I did. It might have made a big difference in my life if I had learned ways of coping with that anxiety earlier in my life. So, I appreciate what you're saying.

As can I. I was sure that God was going to try to kill me as he did my same-age cousin when we were six. I felt guilty because I knew she must have died because I prayed incorrectly and because sometimes I wasn't really paying attention and goofed around with my sister when I was saying my prayers at night That anxiety blossomed into something far larger and crippling that I still carry today, although after getting help as an adult, it's been greatly minimized.

My brothers and sisters didn't have this same level of anxiety even though they were born into the same family.

The anxiety wasn't solely caused by the religious environment. I can also remember hearing my mother say, "It's interesting how volcanoes just build themselves up out of the ground" and then lying awake all night in terror that a volcano was going to build itself in our backyard.

So the tendency to the anxiety was there and not caused by the religious factor, but the fear and threat of punishment inherent in conservative Christianity fed into it perfectly. I did come up with a coping mechanism. I realized that if I counted to certain numbers or did certain rituals, mental or otherwise, I could stave off the disaster and relieve the anxiety. When I was in my forties, I learned that psychiatry has a name for that coping mechanism.

[phetaroi]

Originally Posted by ClaraC

I have great empathy for your grandson, normstad. And there is no "blame" in anxiety. It's a brain chemical/neurological thing.

I have experience with children, and children with anxieties.

In the years to come I think you may have to soften your idea that his anxiety was caused 100% by his brush with Christian faith - and more on the probability that he's an anxious child in general.

And I do hope his parents - if he's still showing any signs of the prior anxiety - look into therapy for him. Starting with school resources, and finding out if he's behaving in an anxious way at school as well as at home, and going from there.

One of the first questions you'll likely be asked is if the child had a recent strep infection. In children that age, that often is the trigger for behavioral/psychological/obsessive thought pattern changes.

Clara, as an educator for 33 years, so do I have experience with children with anxieties. The problem here is that you're not objective. Your religious views are so strong -- as you have demonstrated in this forum -- that those views are overwhelming any objective view of this case.

[ClaraC]

Originally Posted by phetaroi

Clara, as an educator for 33 years, so do I have experience with children with anxieties. The problem here is that you're not objective. Your religious views are so strong -- as you have demonstrated in this forum -- that those views are overwhelming any objective view of this case.

I know it comes off that way.

But I'm being objective here about the child. And I do have experience with children, and anxiety.

I'm not objective about the grandparent saying other parents should be forbidden from sharing their religious beliefs with their children.

But that has nothing to do with finding it somewhat alarming that a child cried himself to sleep more than one night over some information shared by a peer.

That's not an expected reaction to troubling information.

It's a concern for the child in general.

And this child needs attention for his anxiety, not just rage at parents of his peers.

If he has now resumed a happy-go-lucky lifestyle, he sleeps easily, his stomach doesn't hurt, etc., then I'd say it's time to move on.

Otherwise it's time for more intervention for him.

[phetaroi]

Originally Posted by ClaraC

I know it comes off that way.

But I'm being objective here about the child. And I do have experience with children, and anxiety.

I'm not objective about the grandparent saying other parents should be forbidden from sharing their religious beliefs with their children.

But that has nothing to do with finding it somewhat alarming that a child cried himself to sleep more than one night over some information shared by a peer.

That's not an expected reaction to troubling information.

It's a concern for the child in general.

And this child needs attention for his anxiety, not just rage at parents of his peers.

If he has now resumed a happy-go-lucky lifestyle, he sleeps easily, his stomach doesn't hurt, etc., then I'd say it's time to move on.

Otherwise it's time for more intervention for him.

I'm sorry, but no. As an atheist, I'm not objective in this situation EITHER.

[Nov3]

Originally Posted by phetaroi

I'm glad you said that. It seems to me that it may be the religion causing the anxiety issue, not a general anxiety issue making the religion the bogey man.

Well stated.
It seems that the new go to is to now tell a 7 year old they have a diagnosis of sorts. Sad really that folks jump to such. It's often an age of impressionable circumstances. And the coping methods to sort thru false data. Indoctrination is part of most religious groups. It starts at the impression age.
I know as I spent years "memorizing " prayers and 1 hour of bible study daily. By age 13 a light bulb came on. When I started to question the christian god and the years of brimstone and fire. I was met with the how dare I question the holy words! Yet I did.
I personally did find comfort in prayer and the lay me down prayer did comfort. It said god would welcome our spirit. Sounds good to me..even in childhood.
But the entire rapture and ugly deeds cast upon a group that this supposed loving god delved out really set the fear stage.
I feel for a loving parent or relative who wishes to share the scriptures . Children are impacted. Guide them and be mindful of the child interpreting with a vivid imagination.

[Matadora]

Some churches “weaponize scripture and religion to do very deep damage on the psyche,” one pastor says.

Scientific research into the consequences of such religious condemnation remains at an early stage. But the potential for harm is clear. Many suffer for decades from post-traumatic stress disorder-type symptoms, including anxiety, self doubt and feelings of social inadequacy.

When Religion Leads to Trauma

All you folks who are trying to dismiss that religion harms children should take a good look at this lady's work. Child Friendly Faith Project

Glad to see WA and CA stepping up to the plate to put a stop to this abuse.

Two bills in WA and CA would protect children from religious abuse and neglect

[ClaraC]

Originally Posted by Matadora

Some churches “weaponize scripture and religion to do very deep damage on the psyche,” one pastor says.

Scientific research into the consequences of such religious condemnation remains at an early stage. But the potential for harm is clear. Many suffer for decades from post-traumatic stress disorder-type symptoms, including anxiety, self doubt and feelings of social inadequacy.

When Religion Leads to Trauma

Do you think that a peer sharing his religious beliefs with a 7 year old would have the comparable affect of a church community that surrounds the person in many facets of their lives, over years?

I don't think that. I do know that very severe brimstone and fire churches turn people off, and leave a kind of trauma in the wake, but that's a different category of experience than a school friend sharing their family's religious beliefs.

[Matadora]

Originally Posted by ClaraC

Do you think that a peer sharing his religious beliefs with a 7 year old would have the comparable affect of a church community that surrounds the person in many facets of their lives, over years?

Yes I do think that a child can be influenced by a peer.

Originally Posted by ClaraC

I don't think that. I do know that very severe brimstone and fire churches turn people off, and leave a kind of trauma in the wake, but that's a different category of experience than a school friend sharing their family's religious beliefs.

Religious damage can be inflicted by other types of indoctrination not only brimstone and fire churches.

[ClaraC]

Originally Posted by phetaroi

I'm sorry, but no. As an atheist, I'm not objective in this situation EITHER.

I'm being objective, even though as you say here, you are not.

So let's take this away from involving Christianity, and have it involve something secular.

Say this same child had watched a news item about a child who had apparently been kidnapped from his home and the child was still missing.

Then, this 7 year old cried himself to sleep several nights in a row from hearing this traumatic information.

With your teaching experience, what would you say? Would you suggest the child was over reacting a little, and his anxious state over this news was troubling and he deserved to have a therapist evaluate him?

Or would you say (like is being said here by the OP) this is a completely normal and expected reaction on the part of a 7 year old, and deserves no further intervention except now the TV has been unplugged so that he never hears any more troubling news stories that have caused this normal anxiety reaction?

I'm serious in wanting to hear your thoughts.