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If this forum are just voices in your head, you should reconsider. I've gotten to know some of these "voices" and they are nice people. Real people with their own life experiences and feelings.
It's amazing to me how different my children are and how differently they react. Some of it is genetic, but another part is choice.
Same for my sister, same childhood house, but we could have been raised on other planets for what it matters. My mother was competitive with her siblings and my sister is duplicating my mother with me. Yet, my sister doesn't recognize it. This dynamic is just plain boring - like an endless loop of reruns.
It's also amazing how different I was thirty years ago from today. I made choices which changed my life - what college to attend, deciding my major, getting married, having children, nursing my elderly mother, etc. I've made a million little choices and mistakes which influence my life today.
Most members of cults don't have free will - unless they really like their cigarettes - like my friend's parents. My friend hates all religions as a response to JW's. Her husband found Jesus about a decade ago, yet she is holding firm. I can't blame her.
The art of detachment is frown upon by society when it comes to breaking with family. It's possible with lots of hard work, but it's emotional draining and takes years to accomplish. Even if you are reconciled, there is still regrets over what could have been. It's that the regrets don't take over you life. It is a very hard won option.
I do think God has a hand in our lives. In an auto accident, I was thrown from a car. I could have landed on the divider or pavement, but I landed on the single bush. I was placed like a bird in a nest and walked away with no injuries. So there are things we just don't understand.
I too consider the posts as posts in this forum. Sure there are people behind the posts for sure and their personality, philosophy of life, and who they are comes through quite clearly by how they engage. I try to respond to the posts, not the person. As is human nature i like engaging with some, always eager to see what they have to say, try to be neutral about others, and shut completely off some.
Detachment does not mean you cut your family out, or anyone. That is easier to say than done, like my using the ignore option rather than practicing detachment to the posts. Detachment is something in me that does need to be developed, overcome what comes more naturally. But that mind set, not any kind of action or reaction, is the true means to happiness lie. It is about neither hating or loving, and being in compassion.
It is not shunya, you are confusing too many things, but you have got the idea right, of detachment.
What would make the situation different for another person is the teaching of Vedanta. Let us call her Veda, we are no longer talking about L8. Setting the shunning as an object outside of herself she can remind herself she is atma, that is truth, knowing, and fullness. The emotion she feels for her loss of her mother is not her, she is truth, knowing, and fullness. Emotion is an object as well. If there are accountabilities she needs to settle with her mother, she does that. If that is not possible she settles it with Ishvara, a higher power, divinity.
None of this is easy. It takes a lot of learning, thinking, and understanding of the teaching to get to that place. Psychological counseling might reach one there as well. Apologies to L8, i hope not not offending you.
I can't be offended by this. I am in the double bonus round now(should have been dead a long time ago) so I take whatever comes my way. It was eight years ago and I am the fixer so... I like how Megan Phelps dealt with it. She said, "some people lose their parents to cancer, I lost mine to a cult." By way of comparison, six people I graduated with have died this past year. I have been thru something much worse than being shunned since then. It helps me to heal by connecting to other people who have had the same experiences. That's what it is all about IMO, connecting to others in your time of sorrow. That's what I think Jesus meant. By connecting to others we are forming a connection to God.
I can't be offended by this. I am in the double bonus round now(should have been dead a long time ago) so I take whatever comes my way. It was eight years ago and I am the fixer so... I like how Megan Phelps dealt with it. She said, "some people lose their parents to cancer, I lost mine to a cult." By way of comparison, six people I graduated with have died this past year. I have been thru something much worse than being shunned since then. It helps me to heal by connecting to other people who have had the same experiences. That's what it is all about IMO, connecting to others in your time of sorrow. That's what I think Jesus meant. By connecting to others we are forming a connection to God.
I am glad you are finding a means to find peace. The company we keep matters a lot.
“ Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.”. — Thank you, Max
I hope you find a way to connect directly to God, Ishvara, Divinity.
You brought up siblings in the same family not acting the same. Many times it is because they are assigned different roles. For instance: I am the first born so I am the parent ( the fixer, the codie), my next brother is the scapegoat (the addict, the loser)and my youngest brother is the golden child(can do no wrong, lack of self-awareness). 25 % of people experience dysfunction growing up enough to be considered abuse. Nearly everyone has something that affects them.
Very valid point. Back when we used the term "codependent" we discussed this in one of my classes, and analyzed the workings of the dysfunctional family. It is safe to say, for example, that one or both of L8's parents grew up in a similar situation. The parents learned bad habits from their parents, and did not even realize that the situation was unhealthy or "dysfunctional"
Someone then comes along and shakes up the dynamics as an adult, by refusing to play the game anymore and walking away. Then he or she has children of their own and refuses to allow the dysfunctional pattern to take hold. Awareness and choice come into play.
Religion can be a very negative factor too, I have shown that over and over again.
I had my father here recently. His mind remains after decades, more or less negative. I once said that for a man so intelligent and educated, he certainly asks the most stupid questions ever. As I have gotten older I see that the questions he asks are not so much stupid, rather they reflect his lack of self esteem, social skills in regards to family, and inner worry that something is always going to go wrong, to the point that going out to enjoy a meal or an event has to be marred by inquiries about how many things can and will go wrong.
I see that his mind is NOWHERE near where mine is and that makes me feel really good about myself, because i don't have his neurosis and limited worldview in life.
This ties back to the original topic here. We can offer peace to others and offer a potentially peaceful and good experience, but some will not accept it. Some cannot fathom happiness and contentment as an option. Especially those raised in fundy religions, who are taught to fear god and his devil, that the world, and all in it, Especially them, are evil and unworthy.
Such people will not allow themselves to be a part of a solution in life, no matter what options are in front of them. Gladly, as a free Atheist, I can say that I am not in bondage of such thinking and I can freely, and lovingly, promote Peace and Goodwill to all mankind.
Very valid point. Back when we used the term "codependent" we discussed this in one of my classes, and analyzed the workings of the dysfunctional family. It is safe to say, for example, that one or both of L8's parents grew up in a similar situation. The parents learned bad habits from their parents, and did not even realize that the situation was unhealthy or "dysfunctional"
Someone then comes along and shakes up the dynamics as an adult, by refusing to play the game anymore and walking away. Then he or she has children of their own and refuses to allow the dysfunctional pattern to take hold. Awareness and choice come into play.
Religion can be a very negative factor too, I have shown that over and over again.
I had my father here recently. His mind remains after decades, more or less negative. I once said that for a man so intelligent and educated, he certainly asks the most stupid questions ever. As I have gotten older I see that the questions he asks are not so much stupid, rather they reflect his lack of self esteem, social skills in regards to family, and inner worry that something is always going to go wrong, to the point that going out to enjoy a meal or an event has to be marred by inquiries about how many things can and will go wrong.
I see that his mind is NOWHERE near where mine is and that makes me feel really good about myself, because i don't have his neurosis and limited worldview in life.
This ties back to the original topic here. We can offer peace to others and offer a potentially peaceful and good experience, but some will not accept it. Some cannot fathom happiness and contentment as an option. Especially those raised in fundy religions, who are taught to fear god and his devil, that the world, and all in it, Especially them, are evil and unworthy.
Such people will not allow themselves to be a part of a solution in life, no matter what options are in front of them. Gladly, as a free Atheist, I can say that I am not in bondage of such thinking and I can freely, and lovingly, promote Peace and Goodwill to all mankind.
Is it possible for you to promote Peace and Goodwill to all mankind without using your father and those raised in fundy religions as a backdrop to showcase your good stuff?
Is it possible for you to promote Peace and Goodwill to all mankind without using your father and those raised in fundy religions as a backdrop to showcase your good stuff?
Is it possible for you to not order people around concerning what they can reference from their own experience?
In any case the main point was not that his father was a fundamentalist, but that he's very negative and anxious to the point of neurosis. And yeah it's quite an accomplishment to transcend that.
Is it possible for you to not order people around concerning what they can reference from their own experience?
In any case the main point was not that his father was a fundamentalist, but that he's very negative and anxious to the point of neurosis. And yeah it's quite an accomplishment to transcend that.
...
...how we will have Peace, and Goodwill to All Men if we exclude all those who are of other beliefs?
So, come on, argue for your exclusivity and your place in Heaven.
Despite the fact that I get a lot of spiritual support from reading the Old and New Testament, I intentionally distance myself from Christianity. Too convoluted and argumentative. Frankly, I've never found Christians all that kind to their own, let alone those of other faiths. I definitely have difficulty finding those that practice the teachings of Christ. Frankly, when it comes to Christians, I would prefer not to answer the door.
As for heaven or exclusivity? I've never gotten that. God loves us all, and the kingdom of God is within you.
Despite the fact that I get a lot of spiritual support from reading the Old and New Testament, I intentionally distance myself from Christianity. Too convoluted and argumentative. Frankly, I've never found Christians all that kind to their own, let alone those of other faiths. I definitely have difficulty finding those that practice the teachings of Christ. Frankly, when it comes to Christians, I would prefer not to answer the door.
As for heaven or exclusivity? I've never gotten that. God loves us all, and the kingdom of God is within you.
regarding bold above, beautiful.
i concur.
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