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She’s been able to walk recently. Just too down the hall and back. More progress.
And throughout her recovery it appears that there’s been no brain damage. It’s truly a miracle. Many people have been praying for her, and those prayers have been working!
She’s been able to walk recently. Just too down the hall and back. More progress.
And throughout her recovery it appears that there’s been no brain damage. It’s truly a miracle. Many people have been praying for her, and those prayers have been working!
Be careful about this though my dude, because some of us prayed for the same thing and didn't get our miracle. I am genuinely happy that you got yours, but this is not evidence that prayer works. It is evidence that it might have worked for you, or in the alternative, you just got very lucky. Either way it's cause for rejoicing, but I can't tell you how gnarly it is for survivors of this or that illness or natural disaster or terrorist attack or whatever to un-ironically exult in god's goodness toward THEM while metaphorically (and sometimes, literally) standing in front of the bodies of the less "blessed".
Mind you ... I don't see any of such intent in you whatsoever. You're just understandably happy that your wife is going to be okay. Just remember not everyone is so fortunate, that's all, so be careful about publicly connecting your good fortune to god's largess. It can be painful for others.
Be careful about this though my dude, because some of us prayed for the same thing and didn't get our miracle. I am genuinely happy that you got yours, but this is not evidence that prayer works. It is evidence that it might have worked for you, or in the alternative, you just got very lucky. Either way it's cause for rejoicing, but I can't tell you how gnarly it is for survivors of this or that illness or natural disaster or terrorist attack or whatever to un-ironically exult in god's goodness toward THEM while metaphorically (and sometimes, literally) standing in front of the bodies of the less "blessed".
Mind you ... I don't see any of such intent in you whatsoever. You're just understandably happy that your wife is going to be okay. Just remember not everyone is so fortunate, that's all, so be careful about publicly connecting your good fortune to god's largess. It can be painful for others.
>> because some of us prayed for the same thing and didn't get our miracle
Yes, and I am so very sorry for those losses.
I hope my story is not taken as gloating. I’m celebrating, definitely, but do NOT want to gloat in front of those who suffered grievous losses.
You make many good points and I agree with you. But in my faith* I believe God wants us to ask Him for what we want. But we don’t always get it. And when we don’t it can be very EFFED UP.
* — (when I say “in my faith” I don’t mean any particular religion. I mean that’s what I as an individual believe. I can’t argue it because frankly I don’t understand it. Why does a loving and benevolent God let me keep my wife for a few more days or years while the guy next to me loses his 3 month old child to childhood leukemia? I could say that it was all God’s will, but that comes off as trite and, hell, if I was that father who lost my 3 month old, I’d be seriously pissed and want to punch that guy’s teeth out.)
So when I quoted Romans 8:28 in the OP, I meant that regardless of whether or not my wife lived. That verse means that in ALL things, whether they be good or bad, we have to trust in God and He will work things out for good.
I did not create the OP on that first night when nobody was certain that she’d live through the night, and I did not create it when her heart was stopped and I didn’t know if she’d be revived. But throughout this I was clinging to Romans 8:28. And also to Romans 8:38-39.
Easy for me to say now, with my wife sitting next to me on the couch. But that’s the truth.
I am definitely aware that many many others end with unfortunate outcomes. And it easily could’ve been me with a very unfortunate outcome.
While my wife is home today, and stable, she is still quite fragile. She’s 58, so not too old, but she’s been through a lot and so she’s fragile. I’ll try to treasure every single day we have together.
>> because some of us prayed for the same thing and didn't get our miracle
Yes, and I am so very sorry for those losses.
I hope my story is not taken as gloating. I’m celebrating, definitely, but do NOT want to gloat in front of those who suffered grievous losses.
You make many good points and I agree with you. But in my faith* I believe God wants us to ask Him for what we want. But we don’t always get it. And when we don’t it can be very EFFED UP.
* — (when I say “in my faith” I don’t mean any particular religion. I mean that’s what I as an individual believe. I can’t argue it because frankly I don’t understand it. Why does a loving and benevolent God let me keep my wife for a few more days or years while the guy next to me loses his 3 month old child to childhood leukemia? I could say that it was all God’s will, but that comes off as trite and, hell, if I was that father who lost my 3 month old, I’d be seriously pissed and want to punch that guy’s teeth out.)
So when I quoted Romans 8:28 in the OP, I meant that regardless of whether or not my wife lived. That verse means that in ALL things, whether they be good or bad, we have to trust in God and He will work things out for good.
I did not create the OP on that first night when nobody was certain that she’d live through the night, and I did not create it when her heart was stopped and I didn’t know if she’d be revived. But throughout this I was clinging to Romans 8:28. And also to Romans 8:38-39.
Easy for me to say now, with my wife sitting next to me on the couch. But that’s the truth.
I am definitely aware that many many others end with unfortunate outcomes. And it easily could’ve been me with a very unfortunate outcome.
While my wife is home today, and stable, she is still quite fragile. She’s 58, so not too old, but she’s been through a lot and so she’s fragile. I’ll try to treasure every single day we have together.
Thanks again for your message, your post.
As I suspected, you meant no harm. No harm, no foul.
I am just glad she is home ... that was a pretty quick progression from intensive care to discharge. If I may offer a suggestion ... the way medical care in this country has evolved, people are sent home way earlier than they used to be (my wife had two total knee replacements this year; it used to be a mandatory 7 day hospital stay for each, now they send you home the next afternoon). And this is not entirely or even mostly because of advances in medicine; it has more to do with insurance companies not wanting to pay and with hospitals wanting to pump people through the system to make $$. It was almost comical how the morning after surgery they pumped my wife full of morphine so she would pass the tests to leave (going up and down a few stairs, getting in and out of a chair).
So: pamper the living daylights out of her (I know you will anyway) and carefully follow all discharge / medical instructions you've been given, and if she's the kind of person who pushes herself too much, try to get her on board with just convalescing and getting plenty of rest / sleep for awhile.
One positive thing about early discharge is it's hard to properly rest in-hospital as they are poking and prodding you 24/7, and it's not always a very quiet place. So there's that.
Anyway ... congrats many times over ... it is a fantastic outcome!
Thanks! That outcome is more a direction than a destination. Our trajectory on this shared journey is headed the right way, that’s for sure.
A brief update and recap of where things are as of today:
● 3 weeks in ICU, and 2 emergency surgeries, then discharged…
● 2 days at home, then…
● Back to the hospital where she has been now for 4 days. The plan is, upon discharge, she’ll go to a physical rehab facility before going home.
Details during those 2 days at home:
They discharged her because she was able to walk, using a walker, a distance of 50 feet. She was getting better and stronger. But then at home she experienced some backsliding and she was physically exhausted. TOTALLY exhausted. She was so weak that not only couldn’t she stand up on her own power, but when I’d lift her up to stand she could barely stay upright while supporting herself with her walker. I was supporting her the entire time by standing behind her and locking my forearms under her armpits, in a similar manner as when you spot someone lifting free weights. If you’ve ever done that, you know what I mean. One time, she just could not stay upright and I had to lower her to the floor where she stayed for 20 minutes.
So utterly and completely WEAK.
When she had gathered herself and was ready, I picked her up by standing in front of her and getting her to her feet, then shuffling her over to her walker. I was lifting 140 pounds of dead weight.
We had to get to her dialysis appointment. It was all she could do to shuffle the 10 feet to the front door, but when there she was completely spent and had to be lowered to the floor again.
There was no way she would be able to negotiate the one step down at the front door to the slab at the entryway, shuffle 10 feet to the end of the slab, and step down the one step to the front walkway. And then shuffle the 25 feet to the car in the driveway. No way.
By this time it had taken 45 minutes just to get from her seat on the living room sofa to sitting down on the floor at the front door. A distance of about 40 feet.
I went to the car and backed it up from the drive, onto the front walkway and right to the slab at the front door. Not an easy maneuver, given the positioning of the house, plants, and sprinkler heads, but I was able to use my new skills from recent years of Jeeping on trails through some tight and tricky spots. (Some examples are here, https://imgur.com/gallery/mGHHJOV.) And I did not break any of the sprinkler heads!
With the car now positioned I was able to lift her again and shuffle her down the 2 steps and over the now-only 15 feet to the car, and into the car.
This ordeal took about one hour.
Once at the dialysis center I went in and borrowed one of their wheelchairs and got her in and seated and situated at the machine. I bundled her up in her parks, and she was ready to go, and dialysis would take 4 hours.
In recent days I had searched Craigslist for a wheelchair, and as luck and timing would have it I went to meet the seller from there. When my wife’s dialysis was completed we now had a light and foldable wheelchair to help get her to the car, and then from the car into the house. What had earlier taken 1 hour to negotiate now took only 10 minutes to get her back from the car in the driveway to her being seated on the living room sofa.
With dialysis done we had to figure out what was going on. Why was she so weak? From phone calls to her team of doctors, they could not explain it and they told us to come back in.
So after only 2 days at home she was back in the hospital. But she’s no longer in ICU, thank goodness. She’s in a regular room.
It turns out that the root causes for her exhaustion were twofold: low blood pressure, and the infection in her abdomen had returned. Meds are taking care of her blood pressure, and meds and some draining are treating the infection. She never ran a fever, so that’s very good.
She is feeling SOOOO much better now. She should be discharged in 2-3 days to a rehab facility. The saga continues. Thanks for allowing me to share. I am not venting or complaining. I am sharing. As the sayings go, “it is what it is”, and “you do what you have to do”. I’m a retired Marine. I served 13 years, and if there’s one thing the Marine Corps hammers into you, it’s the focus of accomplishing the mission at hand. Anything other than mission success is unacceptable, and right now my mission is to support my wife back to 100% restoration of her health and abilities. That mission focus helps me keep focused on what MUST be done, and not distracted by the hiccups, challenges, and roadblocks in our path.
From her 3 heart stoppages back on the night of 12 November to today, I’d say we are still making good progress this month.
They discharged her because she was able to walk, using a walker, a distance of 50 feet. She was getting better and stronger. But then at home she experienced some backsliding and she was physically exhausted. TOTALLY exhausted.
Yeah that was my concern. Hospitals tend to discharge the first time some criteria or other can be met at a moment-in-time but that doesn't mean it's sustainable. I'm glad she's on a more careful track now. The rehab facility should be able to make sure she's sustainably strong enough to go home.
She’s not discharged yet. Maybe Monday or Tuesday.
About being discharged too early that last time, one thing the hospital did not do prior to discharge (and also I did not do), is confirm that the pharmacy has the meds she needed. When she was discharged we stopped by the pharmacy on the way home. One new med, for her BP to not fall too low, was not in stock and would take 2 days to get. Because it was a Saturday, they could not get it until Monday. Turns out that this was a key med for her and is a key reason why she was so weak and the hospital had to readmit her on that Monday — this basically caused a one week extension to her hospitalization and would have avoided us being at home with her so weak and collapsing onto the floor, and scrambling to buy that wheelchair (which DEFINITELY was indispensable).
Her doc said that had she known that, she would not have discharged her. Or maybe at least we could have gotten it from the hospital pharmacy
Something to check before being discharged in the future.
Her doc said that had she known that, she would not have discharged her. Or maybe at least we could have gotten it from the hospital pharmacy
Something to check before being discharged in the future.
I'd argue that since it's key, it was delinquent of the doc to not make darn sure that was in place before discharging her.
Locally here the hospital actually has a program that has turned the hospital pharmacy into a discount retail operation and they encourage discharged patients to get their meds there rather than at outside pharmacies. it is the same pharmacy that supplies the wards internally, so if your wife was getting this med there, she could get it at the pharmacy on the way out. I think that's a fantastic idea and seems well-implemented.
I'd argue that since it's key, it was delinquent of the doc to not make darn sure that was in place before discharging her.
Locally here the hospital actually has a program that has turned the hospital pharmacy into a discount retail operation and they encourage discharged patients to get their meds there rather than at outside pharmacies. it is the same pharmacy that supplies the wards internally, so if your wife was getting this med there, she could get it at the pharmacy on the way out. I think that's a fantastic idea and seems well-implemented.
The last time I had surgery, a nurse handed me my prescription medicines before I left the post-op room. They had been filled at the hospital pharmacy. It was particularly useful in this case since it included a narcotic pain reliever, but I had gotten a prescription for another narcotic from a dentist just a few weeks earlier. Neither of the prescribing doctors was my PCP, so the pharmacy would probably have refused to fill the second one.
Yes, the hospital should have made sure she could get her medications before they discharged her.
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