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I have an eleven year old daughter and for all of her life I have kept her away from religious indoctrination as I want her to make her own mind up about these things when she is an adult. When she has asked me questions of a religious nature I reply with an answer from as many different beliefs as possible. I tell her -well some people believe this and others believe that and so on. In my house there are a number of books on world religions and books on mythology as well.
I have had a very tough time over the years because I find that people insist on trying to instill their beliefs on my child. I have to fight to keep her out of scripture classes at school, one time having to go to the district head office to complain (scripture classes are still a part of our public school system in Australia). I have also found presents and notes from churches asking her to come to them and how much fun she could have. Relatives have given her childrens bibles and praying dolls that teach her how to pray. Other children have told her she is going to hell!!! I think that all of this behaviour is outragous.
Can anyone justify this behaviour? Can christians really justify the warping of a young mind? My daughter is a good ,honest girl the other children telling her she will go to hell sound really mean and nasty to me.
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I commend you for letting your daughter decide for herself what she believes. I tried to do the same and my grandchildren have had the same upbringing...however, well-meaning in-laws and friends do constantly push the Christianity angle. All you can do is remain open and honest with her and allow her to question things. There will come a time when she will probably ask you to go to church with a friend or some other "religious" function. MY advice is to allow it...because if you refuse you make that activity become exciting and unknown. She will probably come back with a thousand more questions for you...more opportunity to allow her so think for herself. Very few young people get that chance...most are forced into their beliefs by their familes and society.
I commend you for letting your daughter decide for herself what she believes. I tried to do the same and my grandchildren have had the same upbringing...however, well-meaning in-laws and friends do constantly push the Christianity angle. All you can do is remain open and honest with her and allow her to question things. There will come a time when she will probably ask you to go to church with a friend or some other "religious" function. MY advice is to allow it...because if you refuse you make that activity become exciting and unknown. She will probably come back with a thousand more questions for you...more opportunity to allow her so think for herself. Very few young people get that chance...most are forced into their beliefs by their familes and society.
Good sound advice, I definitely do agree with this...
I have asked her if she would like to go to church one time just to see what it's like. She doesn't want to go. At the moment she thinks it's a load of nonsense that there is no God, no heaven or hell and when you die you just die...that's it. This isn't exactly my belief, it's just the conclusion she has come to on her own so far. I can't see her wanting to go to church anytime soon, but if she does I would definately let her satisfy that curiosity. For a while there she thought Wicca or Buddism where good, because she is a nature lover and she liked the answers she got from those belief systems.
It seems she has learned from your actions. You say "this isn't exactly my belief". Well, what exactly is your belief? Moderator cut: insulting It is a parent's responsibility to educate their children and to teach them morals and responsibility. You've decided to let the child be the adult. You say you want your child to learn about all the different faiths out there and then get angry when friends and relatives give her a children's bible. It seems you have something against christian based religions and are doing very well in teaching this same bias to your daughter through your words, actions, and body language. Children pick up on these things. Sounds like you've taught your daughter to hate and not to trust christian based religions. I myself am not deeply religious. About the only religion I have a problem with is Islam because so many of it's followers want to kill non-muslims. If invited to a Jewish religious ceremony I'll go and respect and observe the traditions while there. Same with Hindu and other religions. You need to do some soul searching and come to grips with your feelings towards religion, or a particular religion, and why it is you feel this way. Once you do that then you need stop teaching your daughter to hate religion, or one particular religion.
Last edited by Alpha8207; 12-06-2008 at 05:24 PM..
I have an eleven year old daughter and for all of her life I have kept her away from religious indoctrination as I want her to make her own mind up about these things when she is an adult. When she has asked me questions of a religious nature I reply with an answer from as many different beliefs as possible. I tell her -well some people believe this and others believe that and so on. In my house there are a number of books on world religions and books on mythology as well.
I have had a very tough time over the years because I find that people insist on trying to instill their beliefs on my child. I have to fight to keep her out of scripture classes at school, one time having to go to the district head office to complain (scripture classes are still a part of our public school system in Australia). I have also found presents and notes from churches asking her to come to them and how much fun she could have. Relatives have given her childrens bibles and praying dolls that teach her how to pray. Other children have told her she is going to hell!!! I think that all of this behaviour is outragous.
Can anyone justify this behaviour? Can christians really justify the warping of a young mind? My daughter is a good ,honest girl the other children telling her she will go to hell sound really mean and nasty to me.
I need help understanding what's outrageous about a church giving presents and notes asking your child to come and have fun.
It honestly sounds like you're only open to her finding herself after you've filtered everything she comes in contact with through your acceptability-o-meter. How is that 'making up her own mind'?
It seems she has learned from your actions. You say "this isn't exactly my belief". Well, what exactly is your belief? Moderator cut: insulting It is a parent's responsibility to educate their children and to teach them morals and responsibility. You've decided to let the child be the adult. You say you want your child to learn about all the different faiths out there and then get angry when friends and relatives give her a children's bible. It seems you have something against christian based religions and are doing very well in teaching this same bias to your daughter through your words, actions, and body language. Children pick up on these things. Sounds like you've taught your daughter to hate and not to trust christian based religions. I myself am not deeply religious. About the only religion I have a problem with is Islam because so many of it's followers want to kill non-muslims. If invited to a Jewish religious ceremony I'll go and respect and observe the traditions while there. Same with Hindu and other religions. You need to do some soul searching and come to grips with your feelings towards religion, or a particular religion, and why it is you feel this way. Once you do that then you need stop teaching your daughter to hate religion, or one particular religion.
My daughter does not hate religion and neither do I. I didn't say the it made me angry when she was given a bible...it actually just disappointed me because I had made it clear how I felt and they were going directly against my wishes. And if any person from another religion had done the same thing I would feel the same way.
How dare you suggest that I am not teaching my daughter morals and responsability? Just because she is not brain washed does not mean she has no morals. She is actually a highly moral and responsable young person. More so than many of her peers who have been indoctrinated.
As for my feelings toward religion, I have always believed that everyone has the right to believe what they wish , but not to ram it down anothers throat. Christians seem to be the most zealous in this, which is why they bare the brunt of my OP.
I am not teaching her any bias and she has decided on her own that it doesn't make sense. I would support any decision she makes in regard to religion. Until she is an adult she will have an even handed education on this subject.
Last edited by Alpha8207; 12-06-2008 at 05:24 PM..
I dare because that is what I read in your post, especiall this part of your original post, "I have also found presents and notes from churches asking her to come to them and how much fun she could have. Relatives have given her childrens bibles and praying dolls that teach her how to pray. Other children have told her she is going to hell!!! I think that all of this behaviour is outragous.
Can anyone justify this behaviour? Can christians really justify the warping of a young mind? My daughter is a good ,honest girl the other children telling her she will go to hell sound really mean and nasty to me." True, you didn't say them giving your daughter presents or bible made you angry but you do say it's outrageous behavior and the general tone of your entire argument says to me you are angry about this and your post, especially the last part of your post, is specifically directed towards christians. You may not have said directly to her or taught her directly your feelings about christians but she seems to have picked up on your attitude and beliefs based upon your statement that, "she thinks it's a load of nonsense that there is no God, no heaven or hell and when you die you just die...that's it". My ex-wife and I don't share the same religion. I did go to her church with her and our children. I don't agree with things taught in their church and explained my feelings. Our children were taught what our, my ex-wife and I, beliefs are. We taught them what we believe and why. If they have questions about other religions, we answer their question as best we can or take them to the library to help them research for the answer they seek. But to get angry and upset that someone gave your daughter a gift like that imprints upon your daughter your feelings towards that religion. What "exactly" is your belief? Can you answer that question for yourself? Can you give your daughter a straigh answer about "your" beliefs in order to help provide her guidance instead of letting a child go out to seek it for herself?
I need help understanding what's outrageous about a church giving presents and notes asking your child to come and have fun.
It honestly sounds like you're only open to her finding herself after you've filtered everything she comes in contact with through your acceptability-o-meter. How is that 'making up her own mind'?
If it was one of the other religions doing this to your child, would you find it outragous? It's a recruitment drive, pure and simple.They knew she wasn't in the church and felt that that was wrong and went behind my back to tempt her in.
We are not talking about her "finding herself" that is something that comes from learning all the lessons of young adulthood. I don't filter anything , I give the christian point of view to her questions along with other points of view. Maybe you have such a problem with this because a child can see that the christian point of view just doesn't make sense.
If it was one of the other religions doing this to your child, would you find it outragous? It's a recruitment drive, pure and simple.They knew she wasn't in the church and felt that that was wrong and went behind my back to tempt her in.
No, I wouldn't find it outrageous. I equip my kids with the tools they need when they come in contact with other belief systems....and they have.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Ice
We are not talking about her "finding herself" that is something that comes from learning all the lessons of young adulthood. I don't filter anything , I give the christian point of view to her questions along with other points of view. Maybe you have such a problem with this because a child can see that the christian point of view just doesn't make sense.
What do you mean by that last sentence? Does the 'with this' your referencing mean the church inviting her or the whole thing in general? I don't have a problem raising your kid any way you want to raise them, but based on the fact you've already shared that an 11 year old has already answered her inquiries about God and has reached her conclusions, it sounds like you're upset for little reason. She seems to be well indoctrinated against any other indoctrination.
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