"Everything Happens for a Reason" (quote, marriage, God)

[nebulous1]

I have heard this trite saying many times.

"Everything happens for a reason."

But no one can say who's reason or what the reason is.

It is like assigning some kind of meaning to meaningless things. Maybe suffering isn't so bad, if you think some god gave it to you.

[kdbrich]

It's more comforting to think God is in control than that he might be sitting there hoping things turn out ok, too.

[Ajeck]

I think saying such as this are similar to the "Who is John Galt" saying in Atlas Shrugged. They in a sense get you nowhere or give false comfort.

[nebulous1]

I agree. There is no comfort in a sadistic god.

I see good people suffer.
I am also one of those people who try to live a decent life, and I have had many things go wrong for me.

Yet, I see scoundrels never worry about paying their bills.

I see no comfort in this.

A sadistic god with no rhyme nor reason. So, there isn't a reason!!

[kdbrich]

Originally Posted by nebulous1

I agree. There is no comfort in a sadistic god.

I see good people suffer.
I am also one of those people who try to live a decent life, and I have had many things go wrong for me.

Yet, I see scoundrels never worry about paying their bills.

I see no comfort in this.

A sadistic god with no rhyme nor reason. So, there isn't a reason!!

Not sadistic...but a higher purpose, yes.

My 5 year old thinks I'm a mean son of a gun when I tell her to go to bed at 8pm...but it's for her own good.

[nebulous1]

Originally Posted by kdbrich

Not sadistic...but a higher purpose, yes.

My 5 year old thinks I'm a mean son of a gun when I tell her to go to bed at 8pm...but it's for her own good.

Telling someone to go to bed is far different than giving them cancer, making their home burn down, making them lose their job, making a plane crash, making their spouse cheat and leave them, making a tidal wave destroy lives and homes.

You're assigning some kind of "fatherly goodness" to really bad things.

[nebulous1]

And why, would horrible things be for anyone's "own good?"

[kdbrich]

Originally Posted by nebulous1

Telling someone to go to bed is far different than giving them cancer, making their home burn down, making them lose their job, making a plane crash, making their spouse cheat and leave them, making a tidal wave destroy lives and homes.

You're assigning some kind of "fatherly goodness" to really bad things.

In light of eternity, what's dying 20 years earlier than someone else? We all die--some earlier than others.

[Niftybergin]

I believe things happen for a reason.

I was in an abusive marriage for a few years. Been out now for about 6 years. The relationship was terrible -- definitely the worst experience of my life. But it was also, in a very real way, a crucible for growth and change for me. I would not wish for others to experience what I did, and I would not relish experiencing it again myself. But it's easier for me to be at peace with the whole thing, knowing the positive ways I changed as a result of what I experienced in the relationship. I grew up a lot as a result of that relationship. My perspective shifted in positive and insightful ways. And I think I'm a better version of myself today than I was back then. Recognizing all that makes it easier for me to accept the marriage (and the scars of it) without regret or resentment or a lingering bitterness.

So... For me, believing that things happen for a reason works. It's a personal philosophy that resonates with me. (Of course, I'm also a glass-half-full kind of person who looks for...and usually finds!...the blessing that comes with every curse.)

[nebulous1]

Originally Posted by kdbrich

In light of eternity, what's dying 20 years earlier than someone else? We all die--some earlier than others.

Wow. You don't value living. You have no proof that you'd go on after this. An "afterlife" is an oxymoron. You can't live if you die.