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I was really bothered by the case of the young eighteen year old woman who was abducted from a parking lot this week in Kansas and whose body was found a day or two ago. Even though I'm not religious I think I could forgive most mistakes that a human being might make, especially if they're genuinely sorry for what they've done. But I've got to say that I could never forgive a crime like this one and I'd want to see that man suffer. I remember a case in Spokane, Washington when they captured a serial killer and they were allowing family members of the victims to speak to the man who'd been convicted of the murders in court. One man got up and said that he'd forgiven him and was praying for him. That statement was very moving and the killer was very shaken by it. I hope this topic isn't too morbid but it's something that families have to deal with quite often in our violent society and it would certainly test the limits of any religious or non religious individual and their lives would never be the same. In my mind there is no conceivable way I could forgive the actions of a cold blooded killer. Does anyone have any thoughts about forgiveness in these kinds of circumstances?
Pretty heavy stuff, Montanaguy. I won't pretend to know what any of these folks feel or how I would react in this situation. I pray it doesn't happen to anyone.
That being said, I know I'd have to forgive the person at some point. Forgiveness isn't saying that what they've done is OK. Forgiveness is just saying that one is OK with God handling the situation and punishment and/or judgement. So I'd have to say 'yes' but I pray I'm never faced with that circumstance.
That's a question everyone hopes they never have to answer. It would take a LOT of prayer but I think with God's help I could forgive them, like Alpha said it's not forgiving what they did but forgiving the person. When Jesus was on the cross dying He said Father forgive them they know not what they do. Deuteronomy 32:35 "Vengeance is mind and retribution, in due time their foot will slip for the day of their calamity is near and the impending things are hastening upon them".
Well, I had this all typed up and my puter lost it. Sigh. Try, Try again.
I have never experienced anything this tragic, so I cannot honestly say how I would feel or what I would do or say.
I do believe I would hit my knees and ask for forgiveness for my hatred and anger towards this person. THat would be to my benefit and not theirs.
I also would pray for this person simply because this would be showing obedience to God. It would not be easy, nor would I feel like it would be a good prayer at the beginning. God knows our hearts, he knows our sorrows and pain. If we can show obedience and rise above this pain even if it is a prayer in where we state we do not want to do this but do it anyway, I believe God will work in us to help us heal. I do believe it will take a long time to get to the point of forgiveness, but if we keep council and do the Godly thing, eventually we can come to this point. We can learn to hate the sin, but not the sinner.
I don't think we start out doing this for the one who has committed this horrid act, after all we are only human and flesh and bone. We do it because this is what God has called us to do, so it is obedience to God.
We are all Gods creatures, even the ugliest and most vile. We were created in His image and He loves us. It is the sin factor that separates us from God. As Christians, we believe in Christ who is our Lamb sacrifice which erases that separation. For someone who has let sin control them to the extent of murder, rape or someother vile deed, they have allowed sin to rule them. Although they committed this horrid act, and should be punished to the greatest extent of the law, we too, have to follow Gods law.
We forgive them, not so much for them, but for us. So we can be right with God.
When do we reach this point? Only God knows, but if we obey Him, He will guide us through this wretched time. He will heal our pain and sorrow.
And, he will judge not only the person who committed the action, but us as well for how we handle the action.
So, by obeying God, we should be able to forgive, He will put that in our hearts, I just don't know how long it might take.
We just cannot take our eyes from the Cross or satan will use this to drag us down into despair and sin.
On a more personal level let me add something that happened to someone I knew. My brother-in-law's sister Patty was someone I knew from my hometown in Montana. About 17 or 18 years ago she was seen at a tavern in Butte where I'm from. That was the last time anyone ever saw her alive. Since that time she's been declared legally dead and it's believed that she was murdered. Her body has never been found and it troubles my brother-in-laws family to this day. Patty had a daughter and the last time I saw her she was just a small child. A few month's ago my sister told me that Patty's daughter had gone to live with her father in Denver but she had been deeply troubled because she never knew what happened to her Mother. I was told that she went into the garage when no one was home and hooked up a tube from the tailpipe into a vehicle that was there, started the engine and commited suicide. I just remember her as this cute little kid that I never got to know. When someone kills a family member they inflict unimaginable pain upon everyone who loves and cares for this person. All of this needs to be taken into account when we're talking about forgiveness.
On a more personal level let me add something that happened to someone I knew. My brother-in-law's sister Patty was someone I knew from my hometown in Montana. About 17 or 18 years ago she was seen at a tavern in Butte where I'm from. That was the last time anyone ever saw her alive. Since that time she's been declared legally dead and it's believed that she was murdered. Her body has never been found and it troubles my brother-in-laws family to this day. Patty had a daughter and the last time I saw her she was just a small child. A few month's ago my sister told me that Patty's daughter had gone to live with her father in Denver but she had been deeply troubled because she never knew what happened to her Mother. I was told that she went into the garage when no one was home and hooked up a tube from the tailpipe into a vehicle that was there, started the engine and commited suicide. I just remember her as this cute little kid that I never got to know. When someone kills a family member they inflict unimaginable pain upon everyone who loves and cares for this person. All of this needs to be taken into account when we're talking about forgiveness.
I totally agree with that. It affect the whole family when something horrid happens. My dh uncle committed sucicide and it almost shook the family from its foundation.
It is really not Us that forgive so much as it is God. We have to obey God even when we really don't want to do so. This obedience is not for the other person, but it is for us and our commtment to God. He will take care of the rest.
Will this be easy? NO and NO. Can it be done? Yes, but only from our knees.
We have to believe God, during the good times and the bad times.
When we become Christians, we surrounder our will to Jesus Christ and obey His teachings.
Well, unfortunately, MG, I know about this situation first hand. When I was 14, my father was murdered. I don't know. It just wasn't something that consumed me with bitterness and anger. I didn't really think as much about the killer as with the loss of my father. Kinda like you only have room for so much emotion. Maybe it helped too that the killer was not Identified until about 10 years later. At that time, he was doing time in prison for something else. I think he plea bargained and got about 10 years.
Bottom line, though, looking back on it I think it was God's grace that helped me deal with it and forgive. Really, I think it kinda had to be because I do sometimes struggle with forgiveness. I've struggled with forgiveness even of a high school algebra teacher I felt mistreated me! So I think that in the instance of the murder of my father it was pure grace and mercy that enabled me not to struggle to forgive.
I won't get into detail for personal reasons, but I'm in a similar situation. I could never forgive the person. That is something that I will have to take up with God if and when I get there.
For those that have suffered loses, I wish you peace and strength to cope with it.
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My father
! So I think that in the instance of the murder of my father it was pure grace and mercy that enabled me not to struggle to forgive.
