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There is no way in hell I'd tell you it was even remotely ok to cosign for your spoiled, entitled brats (that you created mind you) Cut the aprons strings and let them flounder.
If they can't live at home and want to be an 'adult', let them be an adult and deal with adult issues.
Your son needs to enlist..let the Marines fix his nasty attitude.
I have good, clean cut, hardworking children who are smart with their money, but I wouldn't co sign for them either. If they can't get it on their own, they don't need it.
ETA: Don't you dare get those brats on any govt assistance! They don't need it, they don't deserve it and you'd just be encourage their behavior.
Living off the government dime eh? When you bring the government into parenting and your home, you actually see how jacked up and inefficient it really is.
From financial advisor Dave Ramsey ...... they want a co-signer for a reason. There is a high statistical probability the borrower will not pay. Be prepared to pay the loan.
We've been all through counseling, which only made things worse. They told the kids there were no boundaries', essentially. My DS loved to call CPS for any little, twisted complaint. We've been investigated so many times I've lost count. I'm not enabling their behavior, the enforced counseling has been the enabler. They tell the kids things such as we owe them a clean environment, then they sit back and literally won't put a dish in the dishwasher, saying we owe them. DS is physically huge, and I am disabled. He has attacked both DH and me several times. We've called police, only to have them tell us unless they actually saw the attacks, they couldn't/wouldn't do anything. I even reached out to APS--adult protective services--for abuse of a disabled person. They interviewed both of us, then said I was obviously not disabled, because they saw me walking around the house.
The reason we're moving is, its the best way to decouple ourselves from them. Believe me, incredible as it might sound, we can't make them leave without going through an eviction process, during which time they have full rights to live in the house if they have established residency previously. Its called squatters rights. In the meantime, we have to live in fear of them inflicting even more damage, assaulting us, etc. If we move and don't take them with us, then they have no rights to our dwelling. We almost bought the house we were renting, but decided it just didn't suit us for many reasons. What if we had bought the place? Then it would have been impossible to get them out of there!
Basically, we fell into the clutches of CPS, and they never let go until the kid ages out. DS especially saw an advocate for what he perceived abuse---that was my setting boundaries. If I dared even so much as mention he needed to do his homework, do household chores, keep his room clean, off to CPS he would go. Of course, his version was always in his favor. Counseling actually told me NOT to confront him, not to "pick battles". I was told to stay in a locked bedroom until dh came home and just not "provoke" him---with what, trying to raise him as a human being? He ran the household, and ran me. Believe me, I'm NT the type of person to back down, so we had many confrontations.
And no, we're not moving just to get rid of them, there's other reasons, such as taking early retirement, etc. We're not spineless jellyfish, just that we've lived under the thumb of the system, now its time for us to move on with our lives!
I'm heartsick at the path they're going down, at this rate they will end up homeless bums. I've tried to bring them up right, but that was twisted into abuse, so, let them now figure it out their way!
So basically it's everyone's fault but yours?
You should have tried different therapists. You should have done a lot of things but you didn't. Now you get to deal with the consequences. If you co-sign, you get what you deserve.
There is no way in hell I'd tell you it was even remotely ok to cosign for your spoiled, entitled brats (that you created mind you) Cut the aprons strings and let them flounder.
If they can't live at home and want to be an 'adult', let them be an adult and deal with adult issues.
Your son needs to enlist..let the Marines fix his nasty attitude.
I have good, clean cut, hardworking children who are smart with their money, but I wouldn't co sign for them either. If they can't get it on their own, they don't need it.
ETA: Don't you dare get those brats on any govt assistance! They don't need it, they don't deserve it and you'd just be encourage their behavior.
Under the circumstances you describe, I would absolutely not co-sign anything for them.
Our DS will soon be moving across the country. He has a great job lined up and will graduate from college in a couple of weeks. Even given that, DH and I are reluctant to co-sign for him. Some apartments wanted a co-signer because he has no credit history. He has other options that won't require us to co-sign. If there were no other options, we would co-sign in his case. For us it's about helping him be financially responsible and begin to establish a credit and rental history.
No way, don't co-sign. Also, I don't think I would give them the new address or allow them to visit. The DS might start getting mail sent to your home and then use that to say he lives there, and then try to call the police and say you won't let him in the home and that he lives there. And maybe he would get away with it because your word against his.
Get a PO Box at the local Post Office. Give the PO Box address to them if they need an address for mail. Oh - and when you do the mail forwarding from your current address...forward to the new PO Box. Otherwise the kids might get some mail forwarded to the new address just because the post office will forward all mail that matches your last name.
I wouldn't give them the new home phone either - just cell phone. And make sure you pay extra to the phone company to have your home phone unlisted. Else they can get your address.
I'm not sure how this could even be a valid question? I would ask if this is a troll, but, I know that the OP is not Let's hope that the OP is seeking some heavy duty counseling for herself not announcing that everybody around herself needs counseling because I think that may not really be the issue
They find space under bridge with their shopping cart.
Or they get into section 8 and have the taxpayer subsidize their next dwelling. Much more humane.
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Let's hope that the OP is seeking some heavy duty counseling for herself not announcing that everybody around herself needs counseling because I think that may not really be the issue
