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Do they work at all or are they on some kind of Medicaid disability. Let them pay for the utilities, or/monthly hoa fees, (pay a token amount for rent) but you monitor so they have some responsibility. I had some (twin) cousins that never did well. Both had some mental deficiencies to an extent, also drank too much. Both were on Medicaid for one reason or another eventually. Both passed away before they were 60 mostly due to lifestyles and general poor health.
They should both be on assistance but aren't. My one brother turned 62 last month and I'm going to help him to get his SS benefits. He's the slow one and just has so little gumption to do much of anything. But, I'm going to get him over to my house and we're going to get that done. From there, I'm going to work on getting them both on Medicaid, not to mention an EBT card. I'm fairly conservative and I think all of us, especially them, have this pride thing where they don't want to accept gov't money. I understand that, but it's there. Tonight, when I brought up that he, my brother, can start collecting SS he made a remark like "Well, I don't have kids or anything..." or something similar. Kind of flabbergasted me that he's needing my help but had a thought like that!
Anyway, this isn't an online therapy session. Just venting.
I appreciate you providing that link. Wife and I are currently deciding between a few options. The apartment guarantor, buying a cheap manufactured home and having them pay the HOA, or buying a cheaper house and pretty much using that as a major chunk of my retirement investments.
I'm leaning towards the last one. I have another business that my wife collects passive income on, so I think I can deduct any losses on this property as passive rental income loss. Still have to research more on how that works.
So what will be different in a year that you would no longer feel responsible for/guilty about them? I have a feeling nothing will change except you'll be poorer but still feeling like you have to be responsible for them.
Yeah. My wife helped me realize this is definitely a possibility. Kind of moved the guarantor option to the bottom of the list.
Now, pretty much just deciding between an inexpensive manufactured home($20k) with $500 lot fees, or an inexpensive home, <150k, and just counting this as part of my retirement plan. Whatever rent they can't pay, which could be all, we should be able to claim some of it as a tax loss. We have passive income from another business, so I think the passive rental income loss can be deducted against that passive income. Have to do more research on that.
Do NOT cosign or guarantee them into a rental. The only way that your responsibility to the landlord ends is when you return the unit to them, empty, clean, and in the same condition that it was when you rented it. You won't be able to do that, since they won't leave. It will wind up a disaster, could cost you a HUGE amount of money, will definitely ruin your credit.
Both your brothers are eligible for disability. The "slow" one, for intellectual disability. The alcoholic, because alcoholism is now considered a disease, so it qualifies as a disability. (Yup, I was pretty shocked too the first time I heard this - can't work because of addiction, so pay them money to support the addiction). But perhaps they are both on it already?
Your best bet if you want to be sure that they are housed is for you to buy the cheapest possible house in your city/town, and pay all the expenses for it. I'm assuming that they're already collecting social security or disability, and that they are on Medicaid, and food stamps? Have them both apply for Sec 8, and subsidized housing for the elderly. Essentially, look for as much as they are eligible for in social welfare benefits, and then buy a place in which to house them. You'll be lucky if you can get them to pay you a cent towards the carrying costs for it - I doubt that they would. Hopefully, you live in an area with very inexpensive house prices.
Exactly. I was thinking disability or subsidized housing. Or maybe put the money into somekind of trust for them if but that could get messy.
Also keep in mind it's not always about the finances. Many apartments want to know exactly who will be occupying the unit meaning brother and roomates would still have to pass or submit to somekind of background check. If they have drug or criminal records see if there are organizations that might help them find housing.
If they're on or have current drug/alcohol issues quiet frankly I wouldn't get involved at all. Signing for them would be nothing but enabling.
It sounds like you and your wife will have to do all of the work. Considering a home for your brothers part of your retirement? I see it as liability as they will not keep it up nor pay rent.
Get them on as much assistance as you can, get them medically evaluated and research housing options based on their income and function.
It sounds like you and your wife will have to do all of the work. Considering a home for your brothers part of your retirement? I see it as liability as they will not keep it up nor pay rent.
Get them on as much assistance as you can, get them medically evaluated and research housing options based on their income and function.
Well, I do think they will be able to pay some rent. In fact, after going over one of my brother's income, I think they could afford to rent an apartment. But, that's where we run into where I don't think anyone would approve them for a lease.
I realize property value, if we bought a house for them, may decrease, but that's the gamble with anything. I may have painted them in a worse light then you are thinking. They are lazy, but will know whose house they are living in and I don't see any widespread destruction. But, we are currently 50/50 on just buying them a cheap manufactured home and trying to get them to pay the lot fee.
Going to end up talking to an attorney who hopefully knows enough about real estate and taxes. As I said in an earlier post, we have a business with passive income which we can use any rental losses to deduct our taxes...I THINK! This may be the difference between the cheap manufacture home and a decent smaller home. If anyone knows how that works, I'd love to hear it.
Whatever we do in the near-term, I plan on getting them on a waiting list for Section 8. I'm hoping we can get them into that kind of housing in five years, meaning we wouldn't have to do this forever.
They should both be on assistance but aren't. My one brother turned 62 last month and I'm going to help him to get his SS benefits. He's the slow one and just has so little gumption to do much of anything. But, I'm going to get him over to my house and we're going to get that done. From there, I'm going to work on getting them both on Medicaid, not to mention an EBT card. I'm fairly conservative and I think all of us, especially them, have this pride thing where they don't want to accept gov't money. I understand that, but it's there. Tonight, when I brought up that he, my brother, can start collecting SS he made a remark like "Well, I don't have kids or anything..." or something similar. Kind of flabbergasted me that he's needing my help but had a thought like that!
Anyway, this isn't an online therapy session. Just venting.
I appreciate you providing that link. Wife and I are currently deciding between a few options. The apartment guarantor, buying a cheap manufactured home and having them pay the HOA, or buying a cheaper house and pretty much using that as a major chunk of my retirement investments.
I'm leaning towards the last one. I have another business that my wife collects passive income on, so I think I can deduct any losses on this property as passive rental income loss. Still have to research more on how that works.
It sounds as if you are on the right track with the bolded. I feel your pain. I have a homeless brother living in my condo right now while I'm temporarily out of the country. He lived with our mother for the past five or six years after a relationship ended and he moved in with her. He has a physical issue, but the bigger impact is mental illness.
He stayed with friends about a year after her death, but then he felt as if he was wearing out his welcome and asked another sister to live with her. She is still recovering from COVID, and her husband has health issues, and she didn't think she could deal with him. My house is unoccupied, and I couldn't let him live under a bridge. I had to think long and hard, but what made me offer my home to him is that he finally started talking to a therapist.
We always urged him to reapply for disability on a mental health basis because he'd been turned down for his spinal deterioration a few years ago ("just say to them the things you say to us, and they'll give you disability", lol) but he said he was "too broken" to even fill out the paperwork.
The therapist found him a social worker who came to the house and helped him fill out paperwork for assistance and has picked him up and driven him to apply for housing assistance, EBT, etc. See if you can enlist the help of social services for similar benefits for your brothers. Those of us who worked all our lives don't always know how this stuff works, but there is help out there.
He finally got on anti-depressant meds that seem to be helping, too. My neighbor says she sees him outside taking walks, which is a huge improvement for him.
So maybe tell your brothers that you will help them on the condition that they either seek help or are willing to cooperate with a social worker. We can't save these siblings from themselves, but maybe we can give them a push and make sure they at least have the basic necessities of life. It might still cost you a bit. I am paying the utilities, which have to be paid anyway, but also the cable/Internet, etc., for him, which I usually suspend when I am not there. But I can afford to do that. Good luck.
we can use any rental losses to deduct our taxes...I THINK!
Sorry, think otherwise.
To get the tax deductions you have to treat them as real tenants, charge them market rent, and the relationship has to be at arm's length just like having real tenants. If the IRS finds out you are taking deductions while subsidizing your brothers you'll end up with a big tax bill and lots of penalties and interest.
As for actually doing any of the things you are suggesting I vote not. Your brothers have made it into their 60s without changing, they aren't going to get any better by you subsidizing them for 6 months or a year.
They will break your heart when you finally figure out that your efforts have been for naught.
How do I know? My son is 52 years old. He's homeless, a drug addict, has a criminal record, lives in a squalid storage container on an industrial property where he does odd jobs for nearby businesses for chump change. He has an attitude problem with authority, won't follow rules, makes poor choices about women, etc, etc.
I also have the money to subsidize him for six months or a year but, unfortunately, I already know that after that time is over I'll end up paying for the mess he leaves behind. I avoid giving him money because I know where it goes so I just buy him groceries when he's runs low.
I know he's never going to change because I have helped him with the opportunity to do so in the past, only to regret it when nothing changed.
I may come across as cold-hearted, but it's because I have accepted my son's reality and I'm too sane to keep doing the same things over and over and expect different results.
Bless you for trying and I hope your help will straighten out your brothers but I tend to doubt it.
"Now, pretty much just deciding between an inexpensive manufactured home($20k) with $500 lot fees, or an inexpensive home, <150k, and just counting this as part of my retirement plan."
What will you do when you need to sell it to make good on your retirement plan? Will you kick them out then when they still can't afford a place of their own?
As someone who has tried to help family members struggling to make ends meet, the one thing I have learned is that people's money issues typically don't change, despite our best intentions. It mostly just kicks the immediate problem down the road til a late date. And it will fundamentally change your relationship with them.
It's hard to not want to help. But I'd urge you to think hard about other ways they could be helped, where the onus of figuring it out lies with them, not you.
^^^AdjusterJack said it better than I could. Please read what he wrote above. Tragic, but unfortunately this situation is more common than we'd wish. Best of luck to you as you figure this out.
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