Where are the good neighbors? (moving, conversation, state, engaged)
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Location: Prescott Valley,az summer/east valley Az winter
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grew up in a rural area outside a small town in Iowa~ supposedly freindly. Was accepted but never really pat of the in crowd. Spent twenty years in navy, moved often, had a lot of friends.
After service went back to small Iowa town where I had a construction business. In 20 years I had zero invites to join anything other than the local church.
Did meet an marry a girl who felt as slighted as I. In retirement live in 2 55+ parks and have numerous freinds in each park. Have no intention of returning to the freindly small towns of Iowa
Most neighborhoods that I`ve lived in, people keep to themselves. There has always been 1 or 2 neighbors who are friendly. The rest could care less. That`s most of our society today...
You make a good point that society has driven people to keep to themselves. Years ago when it wasn't as common for women to work, they were the social directors of the neighborhoods. Friendly with other women, especially through the children's relationships, coffee with their neighbors, etc. which promoted the couples in the neighborhood to socialize. When more women started working outside the home, they spent weekends doing their chores and didn't have the time to socialize. More and more children's activities, driving to ballet, soccer, karate, basketball, etc. took the children out of the neighborhood rather than play with the children that lived nearby. People became so wrapped up in their own lives they don't bother to extend themselves to socialize anymore outside of organized groups such as church, volunteer organizations, etc.
If you live in a town or city that takes pride in people being friendly and helpful neighbors, please let me know!! I have almost given up the hope that someday I can have neighbors who really care about each other. The culture we live in seems to filled up with apathetic, selfish people. Am I just being naive to hope for more?
Pretty much, the USA is a mad Mass society composed of ever more insulated
individuals who have a hard time relating to family much less nieghbors.
You make a good point that society has driven people to keep to themselves. Years ago when it wasn't as common for women to work, they were the social directors of the neighborhoods. Friendly with other women, especially through the children's relationships, coffee with their neighbors, etc. which promoted the couples in the neighborhood to socialize. When more women started working outside the home, they spent weekends doing their chores and didn't have the time to socialize. More and more children's activities, driving to ballet, soccer, karate, basketball, etc. took the children out of the neighborhood rather than play with the children that lived nearby. People became so wrapped up in their own lives they don't bother to extend themselves to socialize anymore outside of organized groups such as church, volunteer organizations, etc.
I can actually understand some of that mentality, but I just don't get people who cannot muster the energy to wave hello to the others who live around them. I have neighbors who, since the first day we moved in, have never acknowledged us in any way. I just don't get that.
NY Joe, do you wave to them? I moved here from RI 12.5 years ago and I have a slew of friends and a few very close friends I've made here in that time. It's me, I'm told. I haven't worked so it's not because I made friends at work. I have become friends outside of shopping with cashiers in the markets, the pharmacies, fruit stand and just about everywhere. I've made friends with people by chatting in line at the post office or DMV. And yes, of course, I've made friends with my neighbors.
I decided when I moved here that I was going to actively go out and make fr5iends - life is too short not to. So I knocked on doors, brought bread, a piece of pie, etc. Invited the neighbors over for coffee. When I sit outside in the warmer weather, I always ask the neighbors to stop and have some coffee with me. Now they don't wait for me to ask. It's teriffic.
I was actually looking forward to being alone this week for a couple of days - my husband is away on business for 2 days. It's only the first day and you'd think I was 90 years old! Everyone's checking on me!
But I love them for it.
I suspect I'm going to be a tad lonely when we move to TN next year - but I have already made a few friends online in nearby towns - hope it pans out. Our nearest neighbor is a mile down the road in 1 direction and a half mile in the other.
We seen the same "unfriendliness" in Colorado/Denver area, North Carolina/Charlotte area and now in Florida/Jacksonville area. Part of it has to do with the way society is today and the other has to do with our age. We are in our early 60's and most folks who are not in our age bracket really don't want to talk to us. I know that when I was in my 20's thru my 40's, I really had no interest in talking with people in their 60's.......really had nothing in common with them! Wife/I are friendly people, but stay away from folks where we live that just seem not to want to be friendly. A few weeks ago, we went to a free Grand Funk Railroad concert here at the Jacksonville Landing. We had a ball b/c 90% of the people were in their late 50's and early 60's........our generation!! Another thing, we like to do some things, such as boating and target shooting, that a lot of folks in our age bracket don't do anymore or don't like water or guns. We also don't make friends with single people, smokers or people that use profanity.
You make a good point that society has driven people to keep to themselves. Years ago when it wasn't as common for women to work, they were the social directors of the neighborhoods. Friendly with other women, especially through the children's relationships, coffee with their neighbors, etc. which promoted the couples in the neighborhood to socialize. When more women started working outside the home, they spent weekends doing their chores and didn't have the time to socialize. More and more children's activities, driving to ballet, soccer, karate, basketball, etc. took the children out of the neighborhood rather than play with the children that lived nearby. People became so wrapped up in their own lives they don't bother to extend themselves to socialize anymore outside of organized groups such as church, volunteer organizations, etc.
True! The stay at home mom helped create neighborhoods.
If you want that neighborhood feel, Las Vegas is also not for you. The people I know here are very nice and quite friendly. But it's hard to sustain relationships because everyone is a shift worker(tourist/service industry). And is scrambling to make a living in this beyond poor economy. You can't go over and visit a neighbor or plan an activity because you don't know their schedule this week or what hours they will be sleeping. So we all live in our private little back yards where lots of us BBQ at 3am. That's just the way it is here.
I never lived in a really friendly neighborhood until we moved to Texas. Our neighbors here are so kind and really look out for one another. It was very refreshing after living in CA where we felt like our neighbors went out of their way not to make eye contact. We are about to move up north and hope to find friendly neighbors there too.
Our neighbors here in NY....(Western NY, between Buffalo and Rochester) are good people.
A few years ago we bought our future retirement home in central Florida, in a 55+ gated golf community. Our neighbors down there are wonderful! We have made more friends down there in the past few years then a lifetime here in NY. They help each other, are very friendly and would do almost anything for us.
We have some neighbors who watch our house for us, send us pictures of our plants, etc, and check on our house regularly. They have been there for repairman, fixed stuff for us when we are 1300 miles away, received mail and UPS deliveries for us, etc. They are wonderful.
I sometimes think that it may be because most folks in Florida came from someplace else, and neighbors seem to become the family that is no longer around. We feel very blessed.
Our neighbors here in NY....(Western NY, between Buffalo and Rochester) are good people.
A few years ago we bought our future retirement home in central Florida, in a 55+ gated golf community. Our neighbors down there are wonderful! We have made more friends down there in the past few years then a lifetime here in NY. They help each other, are very friendly and would do almost anything for us.
We have some neighbors who watch our house for us, send us pictures of our plants, etc, and check on our house regularly. They have been there for repairman, fixed stuff for us when we are 1300 miles away, received mail and UPS deliveries for us, etc. They are wonderful.
I sometimes think that it may be because most folks in Florida came from someplace else, and neighbors seem to become the family that is no longer around. We feel very blessed.
Frank
Maybe because you're in a retirement village but I don't find people in Florida overly friendly. Everyone is from somewhere else.
I guess in a planned retirement community there are group activities but in a regular neighborhood people are unto themselves.
Most of the year it is so hot you never see anyone outside. They pull into their driveway and the car goes into the garage and they go into the house through the garage. Weeks can go by and we won't see a neighbor.
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