Lessons Learned for future generations

[Ellwood]

Originally Posted by Sinister

• Friendship If you are able to have one best friend throughout our life, consider yourself very lucky. It's the person you can call and ask for a loan without having to explain why or when you will pay it back, because that friend trusts you totally.
• MarriageMarry your best friend and everyday say "I Love You." Don't put your children before your spouse because you will turn around and they will be gone and you and your spouse will be alone again. Don't let the children be the glue that holds you together.
• Fiance Never spend more than you can afford. If you have a credit card only use it if you can pay it off at the end of the month unless there is an emergency. Don't waste money on wants, instead focus on needs. Take time to enjoy yourself, but only within your budget.
• Education You can never get enough education. Get as much education as you possible can while your are young.
• Business As you climb up the corporate ladder, remember where you started and treat those at the lower rungs with respect and mentor them.
• Retirement Save as much as possible for retirement! Retire as young as possible and enjoy the fruit of your labor. Everyday is a gift and you just never know.
• Etc.

[Boof]

Boy, that's a great question! Hmmm....

If I were to share some pearls, the first things that come to mind are:

1. NEVER NEVER EVER compromise your integrity for ANYONE!!! Because once you lose it, you'll spend years getting it back.

2. Never try to be anyone but who you are. If someone can't like or accept you for who you are, move on, because, like the saying goes...you can't please all the people all the time. And if you try to be anyone but you, when all is said & done, you'll look back and wonder...why the H*LL did I waste my time??? 'Sides, in time, the real you will come out. So just be yourself & keep it real.

3. Never try to keep up with the 'Joneses'. There will ALWAYS be someone smarter/dumber, taller/shorter, prettier/uglier, skinnier/fatter, richer/poorer, etc...., and to try to keep up is a waste of precious time & energy. And besides, in the end...who the heck cares???? When some woman tries to impress me by saying she paid $$$$ for a designer purse, or that she only shops at Nordstrom or the like, I just say something like....(pointing to my shirt or skirt or purse....) 'Target, 10 bucks!' Personally, I've got more things to do with my money than waste it trying to impress others. Humpf!

4. NEVER stay with an abusive person-friend, spouse, significant other, boss, etc... Their promises to change are lies, and as long as you take the abuse, they'll consider you weak, and it'll only get worse. Either leave, or speak to someone that has the power to change the situation, but DON'T take it!!!

5. Start saving for retirement as soon as you get your first job. Get a savings account or IRA or CD or something!!! Time flies when you're living life, and before you know it, you're 50 years old and you realize you've got 15 more years before you can get Social Security & MediCare, and your savings isn't going to be enough to pay for 20 more years of living like you dreamed of.

6. Take care of yourself. Eat well, rest well, and live well. Our bodies are strong and resilient, but only for so long. When you're 50-60, you'll be glad you did. But for God's sake ENJOY LIFE!!! You only go through once, so live it up and laugh as often as you can!!!

7. Accept responsibility for your actions!!! Learn to say you're sorry when you know you were out of line. Don't expect others to resolve the problems you created for yourself. So, before you act, think of the worst case scenario for the consequences, and then make your choices. Believe me, you'll be glad you did. Bottom line: NOTHING is worth losing your freedom & privilages for.

8. Treat others as you wish to be treated!!! If you act like a jerk, you'll get treated like one, and have nobody to blame but yourself. But if you at least try to conduct yourself with respect, compassion, kindness and friendliness towards others, you'll go through life a happier person.

Ok, now, as I step off of my soap box, I'm sure you're wondering....Yah, you talk the talk, but did you walk the walk? And my answer to you is...H*LL NO!!! But I did have 2 older bothers that taught me what consequences were, and the best lessons we can learn are from other people's mistakes. So, while other kids were getting put on restriction, losing the use of the family car, or missing out on fun events, I was out having fun. Whew!!! And now that I'm older, when I see people run red lights, or drive crazy on the freeway, or drive drunk, I thank God for that little voice that says....'is what your thinking of doing worth the consequences?' It usually isn't, and I rethink my options. Boy have I saved myself a lot of grief!!!

So Sinister, there you have it. My longwinded response to your great question. Hopefully somewhere in my ramblings I've helped or enlightened someone. If not, hopefully when they're wishing they hadn't done what they did, they'll think of this thread and say...'Ok, I get it now!'.

Still Learning Myself,
Boof

[brightcopperkettles]

1. Learn to save, save, save!! People have been losing their retirement income from their employers not behaving responsibly; never trust anyone with that much of your money.

2. Pay cash for everything except your house. Yes, this includes cars!

3. Only have one credit card with a very low limit, and if you charge something on it, pay it off in full the next month. NEVER carry a credit card balance other than zero.

4. If you don't trust yourself with a credit card, don't get one. If you get one and find you can't control yourself, then cancel it and pay it off.

5. Before you get married, you and your intended should obtain counseling from a financial counselor you trust (so many marriages fail due to financial problems).

6. When shopping for high-budget items, ALWAYS try to talk the salesperson down from the listed price. This works for more than cars and houses.

7. Plant a garden. If you don't have a lot of room, invest in an AeroG... Besides being cheaper, it's a lot healthier.

8. Get a few chickens if you live in an area in which they're allowed. Fresh eggs are not only better for you but cheaper too! And children learn wonderful lessons from helping to care for chickens.

9. Learn to sew. You can make clothes--beautiful clothes--for a whole lot less than you can buy them. You can also make quilts, potholders, curtains, and dozens of other things too.

10. Learn to crochet and/or knit. Afghans, sweaters, hats, the list is endless! Time spent sewing, crocheting, knitting, etc., is time much better spent than piddling on a computer.

11. Learn to fix things. So many things get tossed out these days and new things are bought when they could just be repaired if folks just knew how.

12. Remember your local library. You can still check out books for free. Reading is relaxing, educational, and it's fun!

13. Remember the joy of board games! I love a good game of Monopoly, Scrabble, Clue, etc. And it's something you can teach your children to love as well! The initial cost is minimal, but the joy you get from playing them is timeless....

14. Teach your youngsters to play games outside. There are tons of games kids like to play if they're just taught....Red Light, Green Light; hopscotch; dodgeball; the list goes on and on.... Playing games outside is the reason our generation did not have obesity problems and also teaches children how to interact appropriately with each other. These games are inexpensive as well as fun.

15. Buy a house that is UNDER what you can afford. You do not have to have granite countertops and wood floors. You do not have to have the nicest yard. You do not have to have furniture in every room. You simply have to have something to work with. You can redo your house a little at a time. If you can afford $250,000 for a house, then buy a house for $100,000 or $150,000 and fix it up. Put the rest of the money you could have spent in a savings account!

16. Do not buy your children everything they want. Make them work for it and buy it themselves. Our generation called it "getting an allowance." You didn't get an allowance just because you were in the world; you had to work for it. No work, no money. Simple lesson but very, very important one.

17. Most importantly, remember to thank the Good Master for all you have been given, and learn to give back.