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He is in his 50's, he is not elderly. You seem to be acting as if he were elderly.
In your marriage it would be nice if you embraced his ambition and encouraged him. Alas many times a spouse feels that she should not encourage her husband.
You have repeated a theme that you feel he is somewhat antisocial, but you have not given any examples of any antisocial behavior. Why do you wish to focus on this?
As for wanting to vacation in new locations, so what? Maybe consider taking separate vacations. You can go to your favorite place again and again. My Dw loves Paris; she has gone there by herself. While I have gone to Israel, Egypt, and skied a few times in the Alps. It is okay to vacation where you want to vacation.
You say that your husband is a great guy. If he wants a law degree, obviously you can afford school, support him.
I am sure that you read threads here. If school is your major concern, you really don't have problems. Fifty is not old. He has time to finish school and work and enjoy his new career for a few years. You may enjoy being a lawyer's wife.
I only have a few minutes before I need to run out, but I think you really need to go to the law school's website and check out the schedules. When I started school a little over 20 years ago, part time meant 4 classes/week over 4 years. I went full time day - 5 classes/week. At that time, full time students were prohibited (ABA rules) from working (even part time). I knew a few students who tried this and they dropped out their first year. The amount of time that is invested outside of class is enormous. My point is that this is NOTHING like earning a Masters degree.
I'll try to post a little more when I return, but IMO, YOU are the one who will be carrying a huge burden. (I served on my law school's orientation panel for familys of incoming students to address the special needs of law students with children.) More later...
How would your own life change if your husband enrolled in law school? Would you need to defer any of your own plans or dreams? If his studies wouldn't have a negative effect on you, then I suggest you encourage him. One is never too old to learn.
One caveat: if your husband wants to get a law degree not for the joy of learning but because he thinks it will eventually increase his income, I suggest he think twice. Weigh the costs of law school and the opportunity cost of spending time in school rather than working on his accounting practice against the new business he might have after he passes the bar. (I know several lawyers who are underemployed.)
Hi Bette: I say GO FOR IT !!! I was raised very much like your husband, with little socialization and education provided me with the outlet I needed to be around people and learn how to socialize. I went on to college, loved it so much that I got 3 degrees, 2 bachelors and one Masters. Can't say it helped me in my income much, but I Loved the intellectual aspect of being in school, interacting with other students and having fun. I will always be involved in continuing ed, taking classes and learning. Its a big part of my life.
I only have a few minutes before I need to run out, but I think you really need to go to the law school's website and check out the schedules. When I started school a little over 20 years ago, part time meant 4 classes/week over 4 years. I went full time day - 5 classes/week. At that time, full time students were prohibited (ABA rules) from working (even part time). I knew a few students who tried this and they dropped out their first year. The amount of time that is invested outside of class is enormous. My point is that this is NOTHING like earning a Masters degree.
I'll try to post a little more when I return, but IMO, YOU are the one who will be carrying a huge burden. (I served on my law school's orientation panel for families of incoming students to address the special needs of law students with children.) More later...
Just got back and darn it - saw the stupid typo. (Yes, I know how to spell families. I was editing a sentence, removed an apostrophe and yada, yada, yada.) Now I get to see the stupid typo forever.
Anyway, I was going to add a long response, but I have to start cleaning the house for Thanksgiving. No more procrastination, I hope.
If he really wants to go back to school to do something new, he should. Eyes wide open, of course, toward the cost and effort.
As far as the rest of the post - his desire to go back to law school shows that he CAN cope with change, when he cares about what the change is. It's likely that he just doesn't really care where he goes on vacation (your example), as long as he's on vacation.
When we both had stressful jobs, we went back to the exact same place in Hawaii, very secluded and far (well, as far as you can get in Hawaii) from town. A couple hundred feet above the water, beautiful view, steady breezes, very relaxing, which is what we felt we needed at the time. Now that we're retired and live in a quiet, rural area, we go for the faster paced trips where we never go the same place twice.
He is in his 50's, he is not elderly. You seem to be acting as if he were elderly.
In your marriage it would be nice if you embraced his ambition and encouraged him. Alas many times a spouse feels that she should not encourage her husband.
You have repeated a theme that you feel he is somewhat antisocial, but you have not given any examples of any antisocial behavior. Why do you wish to focus on this?
As for wanting to vacation in new locations, so what? Maybe consider taking separate vacations. You can go to your favorite place again and again. My Dw loves Paris; she has gone there by herself. While I have gone to Israel, Egypt, and skied a few times in the Alps. It is okay to vacation where you want to vacation.
On so many threads and even on shows like Suze Orman, she'll say things like "he's 53, he shouldn't do that, etc" so that's where that was coming from.
I do encourage him - more than you know. We are true soul mates at this point.
I did not mean to imply he is antisocial. Growing up, he was not equipped how to get ahead, how to make friends, etc. He might have chosen a different path had other opportunities been available to him. Example: lots of guys get together and go to games, other sporting events, etc. He was never included and it was not until he married me that my relatives included him in these type of things. Imagine being in your 30's and never being to a baseball game or a football game. (That type of thing). Then, you go into work on Monday and everyone is talking about the game. He just was not included.
Fast forward 20 years - he now has friends but he wishes he had these same opportunities when he was a teen or in college or just starting out, that's all. He's fine now, grateful that he has friends; I don't mean to dwell on that.
The vacation thing - just an example of how he would go to the same place every day if not prodded to go somewhere different. I'm fine with whatever but just trying to expand his interests a bit.
Hope that clarifies. I would support him 100% in whatever he wanted to do!
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I am always supportive
