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After menopause, the lower hormones must do something to the part of the brain that controls what you say. Hehe. I become much more outspoken, but I don't find it too appealing, saying everything you think to come out the mouth. I temper what I say mostly nowadays. If someone is acting up even, and I'm absolutely "right," I judge the situation. It makes people look indeed foolish when they're "going off" on someone and they have a blank slate--deflected back on them. Very different strategy than I've had in yrs and very effective. Other times, it's necessary to just be direct/honest. Depends on situation.
I have always been outspoken, ever since childhood. (I know most of you will find that hard to believe, inasmuch as I am so shy and retiring here on City-Data).
I am now able to curb somewhat my tendancy to share whatever I am thinking. It's sort of a mellowing and self-control that has come with age. This does not mean I have changed completely; I am still outspoken, just not quite as much.
i find less and less need to explain myself as i get older, and , therefore, probably more willing to "put myself out there" in conversation.
some of this is due to aging , i'm sure, but some may be due to being on my own, not part of a "fulltime" couple. i think women of my generation, especialy, tended to figuratively fill in spaces, tuck in corners for their husbands and partners, and the partner, at least in my case, would sometimes do it for them, as well. when you no longer have that attachment, insulation, whatever one may call it, you, of necessity, become more your own person. maybe part of that, at least for me, is being more outspoken, although not abrasive, and minding the consequences less.
I am definitely much more circumspect and less likely to voice my opinion/thoughts at this stage of life as opposed to my 20s.
I prefer writing about my opinions/thoughts.
I have found that most people don't give a damn what others think, anyway. People appreciate being listened to and acknowledged much more than they appreciate being corrected, or hearing an opposing opinion, etc. So I choose to just listen and keep my thoughts to myself.
Part of that may be because I have come to realize that if I really said what I was thinking, it would probably come out as rude and/or condescending, as I am consistently amazed at how misinformed folks often are.
So I decided many years ago to listen and learn, and ask questions to get the topic off such things as health information and politics, as that is where so much of the ignorant conversation on this planet seems to take root and flourish.
I like to hear stories about people's lives: their successes, their dreams and goals, their losses, their memories. That is non-confrontational and enjoyable and I find it entertaining, and no need for much more than affirmative commentary on my part.
I still really make an effort to not be mean or rude, but I do say how I feel more than ever before. I find myself being less tolerant in general and standing up for myself more.
Maybe those of us who did not stand up for themselves as often as we should have in the past have come to the realization that at this stage of our lives it's "now or never" so we had better begin doing so.
I am becoming much more of an observer in real life and tend to say less about opinons to others. If someone insults me I'm more inclined to step back. Unless it's CD forum of course. Then I speak my mind, and it's much easier to do that in an anonymous situation.
I had a fallout with my sister a couple of weeks ago and decided to back off and not call her or tell her what I think of her childish behavior. I had to take my hand off the phone numerous times. Sure enough she contacted me with excuses about how busy she's been and maybe we can have lunch. In the old days I would have told her what I thought, but now I'm just wary and know which situations not to get myself into anymore. I feel done with drama, and being outspoken in real life constantly manufactures that. The only place I welcome and get into opinions is in the classes I teach. Then it's within a protective group setting that invites outspokenness.
Gotten to the point that I just don't care what I say in front of strangers. I must control that because I don't want to pick my teeth off the floor (or worse). People are crazy these days.
I have much more self-control with family, friends, and co-workers.
Ironically, I've always been outspoken ... and find myself growing less so, as I get older. Perhaps the mellowing process of growing older moves us all closer to the center.
I have not moved much in my views (liberal, left) but I openly express them less then I use to. Not sure it is mellowing as much as it is not letting fools upset me...........LOL
I don't sweat the small stuff anymore - life is great and I try not to concentrate or focus on the negative stuff that I used to as a younger person. I do speak up loudly if I see an injustice.
Life is too short.
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