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I don't "budget" for gift. But if I had to add it up....maybe ALL my gifting adds up to $3,000 a year...MAYBE, and that's on the high side. And that includes a book here, a candle there, a lunch treat there....gifts the 'just come up...like a friend's daughter who graduated from nursing school so I got her stuff for her first apartment and some T-shirts and mugs with sayings about nurses....150.00 maybe but that's a one time ever kind of thing.
1) I don't give people the power to OBLIGATE me to a gift....I give because I WANT to.
2) I have 15 nieces and nephews and from day one I've been clear...1) I don't do birthday gifts for nieces and nephews, 2) there are too many of you for me to keep track of. I DO give money for school, or graduations here and there. And I gave 500.00 to help those who've moved into apartments and needed furniture or whatever.
3) Over the years ...SOMEtimes....I'd give my three sibs, $100 each for THEIR birthday, and $100 for Christmas
4) Decades ago when friends were getting married, I'd do the marriage or house warming gift. $15 to 50.00. Depending.
5) For decades I didn't "do Christmas." But the last five years or so I've gotten into Christmas...but still frugally.....I call it OVER giving...meaning I give to about 65 people that include(d) gifts on behalf of my elderly mom. Also I give based on what I want to give or think they would enjoy.
My best gifts have been among the cheaper ones....my friends and family LOVE, LOVE getting socks. Women like the fuzzy slouch socks from the Dollar Store...men love the men's crew and dress socks. I've even said, "alright that's enough with the socks it's been four years in a row with the socks"...and THEY say NO don't stop the socks we love those.
My list was:
-- 5 close coworkers (who make my job easier, and make the workplace enjoyable) 10.00 max each (soap, socks, candy, whatever)
-- 3 siblings and their mates, 15 niece nephews (socks, tools, flashlights, umbrellas, something practical
-- 12 personal friends 10.00 to 50.00 depending on what I see could be socks and soap, could be several gourmet coffees, steaks or other food.
-- my doctors and dentist, that varies could be 1...could be 3...IF I see them that year they get a basket, if I don't...THEY don't
-- 7 neighbors and service people (my yard service guys) more a thank you, good neighbor gift 15.00 max.
-- I also give to my plumber, HVAC, or locksmith guy...ANY service person or contractor I may use or need to call about that time of year.
I do a LOT of "I appreciate you gifts"....they're not expensive...a 10.00 candy basket goes a long way to saying "thank you."
My go-to plumber comes whenever I call, my electrician too.
For my mom:
-- about 8 people -- her lawyer, CPA, financial planner, aides, doctors, etc 25.00 gift baskets delivered
-- 5 more people: 2 cousins, 2 long-time friends, and her pastor
But now that she has passed away...her doctors will drop off. This will likely be the last year for the CPA and lawyer as well.
I will continue to give in her memory to the elderly friend and family members...they LOVE the monastery gourmet KY bourbon fruitcake I gift them. 45.00 each.
I don't "budget" for gift. But if I had to add it up....maybe ALL my gifting adds up to $3,000 a year...MAYBE, and that's on the high side. And that includes a book here, a candle there, a lunch treat there....gifts the 'just come up...like a friend's daughter who graduated from nursing school so I got her stuff for her first apartment and some T-shirts and mugs with sayings about nurses....150.00 maybe but that's a one time ever kind of thing.
1) I don't give people the power to OBLIGATE me to a gift....I give because I WANT to.
2) I have 15 nieces and nephews and from day one I've been clear...1) I don't do birthday gifts for nieces and nephews, 2) there are too many of you for me to keep track of. I DO give money for school, or graduations here and there. And I gave 500.00 to help those who've moved into apartments and needed furniture or whatever.
3) Over the years ...SOMEtimes....I'd give my three sibs, $100 each for THEIR birthday, and $100 for Christmas
4) Decades ago when friends were getting married, I'd do the marriage or house warming gift. $15 to 50.00. Depending.
5) For decades I didn't "do Christmas." But the last five years or so I've gotten into Christmas...but still frugally.....I call it OVER giving...meaning I give to about 65 people that include(d) gifts on behalf of my elderly mom. Also I give based on what I want to give or think they would enjoy.
My best gifts have been among the cheaper ones....my friends and family LOVE, LOVE getting socks. Women like the fuzzy slouch socks from the Dollar Store...men love the men's crew and dress socks. I've even said, "alright that's enough with the socks it's been four years in a row with the socks"...and THEY say NO don't stop the socks we love those.
My list was:
-- 5 close coworkers (who make my job easier, and make the workplace enjoyable) 10.00 max each (soap, socks, candy, whatever)
-- 3 siblings and their mates, 15 niece nephews (socks, tools, flashlights, umbrellas, something practical
-- 12 personal friends 10.00 to 50.00 depending on what I see could be socks and soap, could be several gourmet coffees, steaks or other food.
-- my doctors and dentist, that varies could be 1...could be 3...IF I see them that year they get a basket, if I don't...THEY don't
-- 7 neighbors and service people (my yard service guys) more a thank you, good neighbor gift 15.00 max.
-- I also give to my plumber, HVAC, or locksmith guy...ANY service person or contractor I may use or need to call about that time of year.
I do a LOT of "I appreciate you gifts"....they're not expensive...a 10.00 candy basket goes a long way to saying "thank you."
My go-to plumber comes whenever I call, my electrician too.
For my mom:
-- about 8 people -- her lawyer, CPA, financial planner, aides, doctors, etc 25.00 gift baskets delivered
-- 5 more people: 2 cousins, 2 long-time friends, and her pastor
But now that she has passed away...her doctors will drop off. This will likely be the last year for the CPA and lawyer as well.
I will continue to give in her memory to the elderly friend and family members...they LOVE the monastery gourmet KY bourbon fruitcake I gift them. 45.00 each.
I would NEVER give to the doctor, dentist, CPA, financial planner. etc. Never gave to any service person. If you are a regular customer they are supposed to gift you, usually liquor.
I would NEVER give to the doctor, dentist, CPA, financial planner. etc. Never gave to any service person. If you are a regular customer they are supposed to gift you, usually liquor.
Wha' Huh? I guess I got a buncha skinflints. I never got anything from my doctor, dentist, CPA, financial planner, etc. except bills. How sad is that?
I'm sorry you see something wrong with showing someone you appreciate what they do.
I'm not saying a $25 gift basket gets me appointments when I call at the last minute.....phone calls answered without being charged an hourly rate, same day notes for mom's care, etc. BUT I get those things and show I appreciate that service.
They don't HAVE to do those things. I have no problems schmoozing a bit. It's who you know and how you treat people in this world that can pay off.
Let's see.....I give the front desk security guards candy gifts at Christmas, and treat them like professionals...another person, let's say a coworker in my office, looks down on them and barely speaks...when I forget my pass they let me up in the elevator. The snooty arse hat...they make wait and say you'll have to call upstairs and get someone to come get you. They know we BOTH work in the building...one gets in the other doesn't...because they don't HAVE to let her in. So they don't.
The co-worker who has my back at work, and catches my mistakes. And makes the job pleasant. You're darn right I'm saying thank you. She doens't HAVE to help me out. She could hang me out to dry. But who wants to work with someone like that? If a $10-daollar gift makes her think well of me. it's well worth it. I good investment in MY OWN situation.
I know my plumber and electrician (my regular go to guys for more than 10 years) have squeezed me in between jobs, when they didn't have to. I show I appreciate that....I'm not giving them a Hawaiian vacation...it's a frigging $10-dollar candy basket. But MOST customers DON'T do it....so I do and I stand out.
You never know who you'll need in this life. It can't hurt to schmooze and show a little appreciation. Who would YOU go out of your way for the person who treats you well and appreciates you, or the person who barely notices you're alive? Or perhaps YOU wouldn't ever go out of your way for ANYone. Period. I know someone like that. She's a very lonely person...without no one who would go out of their way for her either.
When I was working, most, if not all, of my supervisors gave me gifts for Secretary's Day & Christmas. At first it made me uncomfortable, until 1 supervisor explained that this was their way to say thank you for a job well done.
I give presents to my sister & my beloved nephew, that's about it. Take it out of discretionary funds, sister about $20-40, nephew, the sky's the limit, lol. Actually he does so much for me & refuses to take any money for it. I make sure he has a good meal (he's my brother's son, not my sister's). Then, on birthdays & Christmas, I take the money I would/should have given him & buy whatever he has mentioned through the year. It surprises him every time as he has forgotten what he said by then. Brother has requested that gift giving to him & for sister & me stop.
I spent about $1000 last year on gifts primarily for nephews and nieces and/or their children. For the three that live in state and that I am closest to, I give both birthday and Christmas presents. For the out of staters, I just buy Christmas presents unless there is a wedding or new baby. Since I visit my Texas family at Christmas, I bring New Mexico salsas or chile flavored foods and candies for stocking stuffers for my siblings. And I bring tamales and other holiday foods which is sort of a gift. We all love our food spicy! I generally tip my hairdresser about $25 more than usual at Christmas and have tried to tip my housekeeper but it made her feel uncomfortable so stopped doing it. Then there is a office collection for our administrative assistants and the Secret Santa at work. I'm not that social so I don't actually get invited to many weddings or showers outside of family.
One gift that I really enjoy receiving is home made holiday cookies and treats. Once I retire and have more time, I would like to do holiday baking for presents to family, friends, neighbors, and service persons.
We have 2 daughters (both 40-ish, both married), 6 grandchildren, and a neice and nephew. All of them have been brought up to be frugal, and to be very smart about money. On birthdays, they all understand that they will get a modest gift from us ($50 or so) plus a donation to savings and/or college fund. Christmas is different. The grandkids get 1-2 gifts each, up to $150.
My oldest grandchild is almost 18, and about to enter community college. Three of them are in their teens, and the others are school-age. They all understand the importance of getting through college or tech school without much (if any) debt. They are as thrilled to get a cash deposit as to get a physical gift. When they were younger, we all bought small gifts by the carton - crayons, flashlights, handballs, water toys, binoculars, kids books, etc. Those kept them happy and busy until about age 10-11.
We take them camping, fishing, and to visit us up here in Maine or down to the new vacation place in TN. They go to the beach and enjoy clam boils and holiday cookouts. If you are willing to spend time with them doing things they enjoy, it doesn't take a lot of money. I'd rather give them memories and a debt-free life, than a $600 present that will be broken in a few weeks.
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