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I don't chat with clerks beyond "Hi" and "Thanks". I don't answer their (scripted, I believe) questions. I don't mean to be rude by it, but this fake "friendliness" that seems to be the style nowadays I find to be intrusive. And clerks I have never seen before calling me by name ... don't even get me started on that!!!
I'm in a store to conduct a business transaction, that's all.
I could be wrong but think there was just a little mistyping there and AZ meant that some of these people won't even say "Hi", "Thanks" or "Bye".
That'll let you off the hook
Back to the subject of the original post, namely the nastiness which is sometimes displayed. When critiquing someone else's reasoning or conclusions, there is often implicit or even explicit "criticism" and there is certainly disagreement which is often read as negativity. The worst possible response to receiving a critique is to engage in blatant name-calling completely devoid of any content. That is, there is no discussion included, nothing which bears on the thread topic, or even on the post to which the name-caller is responding; there is only the quoted post followed by the name -calling.
To use a real-life example (not from the Retirement Forum), someone asked for clarification of someone else's meaning, and the response was that the asker didn't have any brains (I am paraphrasing, as I do not recall the exact words, except that "brains" was there. I cannot go looking for the words, as the post was deleted by a moderator.)
Now where am I going with that? I am going for a discussion of hypocrisy, because the poster who accused someone else of not having any brains has posted in this thread, as if he or she were somehow part of the "good guys" deploring abuses. There is also a second poster who engaged in the "name-calling devoid of any other content" (also removed by a moderator) who has posted in this thread. I find that hypocrisy discouraging.
However, in the spirit of generosity, I would have to admit that allowances should be made for having a bad day, a day during which frustrations have built up, or too much alcohol has been consumed, or any of a number of other such things may have occurred.
In my five and a half years here, I have had three infractions from moderators myself, the last about a year and a half ago. Given the number of posts I have made, I don't think that's bad, although it does go to show I am not perfect either. One thing I am learning is to follow the City-Data guidelines for dealing with blatant name-calling and other offensive posts: "Report, do not respond". Any response to an obviously irrational person has a slim chance of being productive anyway, and other posters quickly tire of reading a private quarrel between two people. So we don't have to respond at all if someone says we have no brains. The totality of my posts shows whether I have brains or not, and my claiming to have them is as meaningless as the claim that I don't have any.
When did this forum become a place to have our opinions critiqued?
Seems a very dangerous place to freely express how one feels about something.
Whenever we offer our opinion about something, someone else may have a different opinion and may offer it, together with supporting reasoning. So in that sense, this forum has always been a place to have our opinions critiqued. That's why it's referred to as an online discussion forum. Discussion implies an exchange - an exchange of information, ideas, and opinions. That implies that disagreement will be part of the exchange. It's really just like a bunch of people sitting around the Christmas dinner table - different topics will come up and different opinions will be offered. Someone may, for example, criticize the Windfall Elimination Provision of Social Security without understanding the underlying basis for it, in which case a person who does understand that basis may correct the misunderstanding. That doesn't mean the first person has cause to be offended; even less is there cause to start name-calling.
I don't understand calling this a "dangerous" place. I freely express how I feel about things all the time, but I have no fear of being critiqued. To the contrary, I welcome critiques because that's one way I learn. I have learned a lot in my five and a half years on City-Data. It is only "dangerous" here if one perceives disagreement as a danger. I do not.
I learned something from your brief post. I learned that underlying attitudes about what this forum is can differ drastically, thus affecting the conversation in strange ways. Often our tacit assumptions cause us to talk past each other, but when the tacit assumptions are stated, then increased understanding of the other person's point of view can take place.
I don't chat with clerks beyond "Hi" and "Thanks". I don't answer their (scripted, I believe) questions. I don't mean to be rude by it, but this fake "friendliness" that seems to be the style nowadays I find to be intrusive. And clerks I have never seen before calling me by name ... don't even get me started on that!!!
I'm in a store to conduct a business transaction, that's all.
I'm not into "chat" with my customers, although there are times it happens if we are slow and nobody next in line. I can talk and work at the same time but I'm mostly concentrating on the job at hand. What I would like though is just to be acknowledged. That I'm a person, not a robot. At least look at me, maybe a little nod, don't have to talk to me. It's always nice to hear a "You too" when you say "Have a nice day". And, by the way, I really mean it when I say it. I am aware that it's too easy to BE/sound robotic about some things when you say the same things a hundred times a day. I've been doing/saying those things all of my working life and I decided, long ago, that sincerity is always best. In fact, the other day a lady leaned over and asked me "Don't you get tired of saying that all day?". I told her that no, I really don't and I even mean it when I say "Hi! How's your day going?", or similar. I WANT to know my customers are having a decent day so maybe they won't be grouchy. lol
I have some customers I've known the entire five years I've worked there and, just like restaurant 'regulars', you get to know them...and their names. They ALL know my name because I wear a name tag but I don't know all that many of theirs. We have hundreds and hundreds of customers every day and I don't know how I'd find out their names in the first place if they didn't tell me. We don't even look at credit card names anymore. How do they find out your name? I know, at Safeway, they can see my name when I scan my customer card but that's the only store I see that in.
There are a lot of people who seem to derive some sort of energy for creating drama - so of course conflict follows them wherever they go.
Another part of the problem, of course, is that it's very easy to misread someone's intent on the internet, since we have only words to go on (without body language, which if we could see it might change our opinion of how those words were intended to be received).
Yes THIS. There are some who just thrive on drama. US society is becoming more contentious. So yes, I've noticed.
Still pretty tame compared to the Politics and Controversies forum. There's a lot of older alienated people out there whose only connection to the world is through a computer and an internet connection.
I've visited that forum a few times and I pretty much stay way clear of it anymore. Great Debates is another one. I've never paid much attention to poster's ages in either and I think I assumed most were fairly young. Regardless of their ages they sure can be hateful sometimes.
Hmmm. Guess I worked in customer service too long. It's always been my goal to make everyone's day a little better. A smile costs nothing & who knows how you can brighten someone's day just by doing that 1 little thing.
Same here. And I'm one of the fortunate ones who's usually always in a good mood and upbeat so it's easy for me. I've had people tell me that they came to my register just because I smiled at them. I have a few co workers who are the same way as well and I enjoy working near them and listening to how they interact with customers.
I could be wrong but think there was just a little mistyping there and AZ meant that some of these people won't even say "Hi", "Thanks" or "Bye".
That'll let you off the hook
You're right, and it does. I'm so glad that week is over. So far, this week, it's been pretty darn good. I still have 'those' customers but they are back to being rare and I can deal with that just fine.
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