The moment when retirement starts getting real (pension, weather, moving)
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I have been working on our retirement plan for more than five years now, probably the same way most people do it: Drawing up financial projections, tracking our net worth each year, looking for the one place both of us would be most likely to be happy. I'm still zeroing in on that last but getting closer.
This September will be our fourth vacation trip to Arizona. We've ruled out places and situations that initially we thought would be ideal, given our interests, only to see the reality for ourselves.
My husband is the kind of guy who reserves his opinions and hates to commit, so sometimes it's hard to tell what he's thinking. I'll suggest a place to visit or talk about some research I've done and he'll say, "Mmm." With him that either means, "Sounds OK" or "I really don't want to but I won't risk getting into an argument over it." There have been times when I doubted if he really would retire, when push came to shove, much less leave the community where all his friends are. Actually, there have been a lot of those times!
Yesterday, he asked me to help him buy something on Amazon, as he's not much of a shopper. He showed me what he wanted to buy -- some LED light bulbs -- and explained the features and specifications of these particular bulbs. You never lack for data when you marry an engineer. Then he said, "I'm going to replace our current LEDs with these. When we move, I'll take these bulbs with us and put the ugly yellow ones from Costco back in."
This is the first unprompted reference he has EVER made to us moving, or indicated he was making plans of his own...even if they're very small and specific plans, I feel like I'm finally making progress.
That's hilarious. Wondering how old your spouse is at the buy-in.
We both got "on board" when it was clear we weren't going to have children - by birth, in-vitro or adoption. Which was circa our early to mid-40's. I got a job in government and the pension/401K with matching was the match that lit the fire. Dragged my spouse to seminars on retirement planning. Was gobsmacked at the folks in their late 50's and even early 60's who were also in attendance who had not yet started to save. And here I thought WE were needing to catch up - I can't imagine starting that late......
Spouse has been under and unemployed moreso since we moved to this state.....so he took on all of the duties of portfolio manager. We stumbled through relationships with financial planners. The ones that were more interested in selling THEIR product lines were quickly scratched off the list.
Then we were directed to my in-laws portfolio - because dadinlaw was literally gambling with their funds - with abandon - and we were worried they'd have nothing to care for them in their waning years. They had brokers directing them to their family members to be POAs at their demise - which raised HUGE RED FLAGS for us. So we became involved in their security.
This lead to us forcing the inlaws to do a family trust and watching over their portfolio.
Spouse is the prime driver of the portfolio along with a broker (local) we can trust.
As far as moving? We also have been of like mind that we do not want to live where we are now in retirement. We want to go "home" to California. We have both been clear about that. No convincing necessary.
I would say the hardest part of convincing - was in the early stages..... getting my spouse to grasp that we were on our own - and never to take whatever inheritance we will get - for granted. We both still feel that way.
For us it has been a bit of the opposite. When I met my husband his wife had died and he wanted to retire immediately. He figured that he had a pension and he was good to go. I had to teach him about inflation and purchasing power and convince him that he was not in a position to retire. I also took over the financial responsibilities: drawing up financial projections, tracking our net worth annually, finding and working with a CFP, handling our investments, figuring out where we will live and what we will do in retirement.
So, I am the one who has been basically dragging her feet about this. The CFP says we should be ready to retire in 2021. My husband is excited that I have finally agreed to a year.
On the flip side of this coin, his best friend retired last year and I made the comment that he was making a mistake and that financially his friend was not in a position to retire even though he also has a pension. My husband thought I was being an overly cautious worry wart.
Last week my husband received a call from this friend. During that call the friend was complaining about his financial constraints and was thinking about trying to find a job. I heard my husband say: "the problem is not your pension it is that you didn't give any thought to inflation and purchasing power". I thought I would keel over in shock.
Be sure to check different times of the year to test the weather.
Start a list of what you want. Activities, small, medium or large community, medical and shopping close buy or not etc.
I have been working on our retirement plan for more than five years now, probably the same way most people do it: Drawing up financial projections, tracking our net worth each year, looking for the one place both of us would be most likely to be happy. I'm still zeroing in on that last but getting closer.
This September will be our fourth vacation trip to Arizona. We've ruled out places and situations that initially we thought would be ideal, given our interests, only to see the reality for ourselves.
My husband is the kind of guy who reserves his opinions and hates to commit, so sometimes it's hard to tell what he's thinking. I'll suggest a place to visit or talk about some research I've done and he'll say, "Mmm." With him that either means, "Sounds OK" or "I really don't want to but I won't risk getting into an argument over it." There have been times when I doubted if he really would retire, when push came to shove, much less leave the community where all his friends are. Actually, there have been a lot of those times!
Yesterday, he asked me to help him buy something on Amazon, as he's not much of a shopper. He showed me what he wanted to buy -- some LED light bulbs -- and explained the features and specifications of these particular bulbs. You never lack for data when you marry an engineer. Then he said, "I'm going to replace our current LEDs with these. When we move, I'll take these bulbs with us and put the ugly yellow ones from Costco back in."
This is the first unprompted reference he has EVER made to us moving, or indicated he was making plans of his own...even if they're very small and specific plans, I feel like I'm finally making progress.
When was the moment your spouse "bought in"?
I have to say we started together in planning years before at young age. The thing that makes it harder is it has to be a compromise agreed to really work. Both need to have skin in making the decisions work. The first thing other than specific places is agreeing to move. Get that agreed first if he is willing; he might not be wanting to move.
Fluffy that is a great story. I enjoyed reading it. Oh mathjak congrats and good luck. I know you will do great.
In the case of us me and DW we actually began planning for retirement at a young age, much like texdav. I began putting money away and making the concious decision I would at a minimum finish out 20 years of military. Things changed when I got to that point I was ready to hang it up but the wife looked at the income I had and strongly suggested that I remain in place and suck it up.
It was only recently that I started thinking about weather in our future. My wife as hardy as she is has always wanted to move to a slightly warmer climate. Until Feb 2013 I was adament I would not be moving. What changed my mind was a small snow storm that dumped 3 feet of snow and my snowthrower breaking trying to clear it. A little light went on in my head, "What are you going to do when you are in your 70s?" Doh!
Now I can't wait until she thinks we are ready. I am about to go into forced retirement beginning 1 April of 2016 so my countdown is on.
I am not sure it will feel real to me until I retire or start making real steps (like purchasing the downsized place). I am in good shape; I have never worked where I had any pension possibilities but have always contributed to 401k when eligible (most years since the late 80s; short gaps for eligibility on a couple of job changes). The odd thing about that is that it is just numbers on reports. When I changed jobs and rolled into an IRA, I just got a new report. If it had been rolled by as gold coins in a chest it might have made it feel more real. I am not sure if that makes sense, but I always approached it like 401k was a required tax and never looked at it as putting part of my income away; it's just one of the numbers on the stub that comes above take home; like health insurance it is something that you just have to do. I have a largely irrational nagging fear that a big collapse or computer infrastructure attack could wipe me out. So I won't completely believe it is really there until I start collecting/spending it.
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I am not sure if that makes sense, but I always approached it like 401k was a required tax and never looked at it as putting part of my income away; it's just one of the numbers on the stub that comes above take home; like health insurance it is something that you just have to do. I have a largely irrational nagging fear that a big collapse or computer infrastructure attack could wipe me out. So I won't completely believe it is really there until I start collecting/spending it.
