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So we often hear about the "sandwich generation" where young to middle aged boomers are squeezed between taking care of aging parents and "failure to launch" kids. However, we never seem to hear about the reverse.
My parents are in their mid-50s, decent income but not much savings in one of the worst areas in the country for jobs. Some of their debt collectors have called me looking for them. They've basically refused to leave the area, even when dad lost his job in 2008, and have just kind of muddled along since.
He was put on a "final written warning" from his call center job today and was demoted to day shift. This will put their combined income somewhere between $70k-$80k, probably earning $35k-$40k each. This place has never been secure and I think this is the final plan to get him out the door. Before this, I expected they'd need some degree of assistance, but this really seals the deal.
How many of you retirees are being assisted by younger relatives?
So we often hear about the "sandwich generation" where young to middle aged boomers are squeezed between taking care of aging parents and "failure to launch" kids. However, we never seem to hear about the reverse.
My parents are in their mid-50s, decent income but not much savings in one of the worst areas in the country for jobs. Some of their debt collectors have called me looking for them. They've basically refused to leave the area, even when dad lost his job in 2008, and have just kind of muddled along since.
He was put on a "final written warning" from his call center job today and was demoted to day shift. This will put their combined income somewhere between $70k-$80k, probably earning $35k-$40k each. This place has never been secure and I think this is the final plan to get him out the door. Before this, I expected they'd need some degree of assistance, but this really seals the deal.
How many of you retirees are being assisted by younger relatives?
Convo, it's hard to summon up a lot of pity for people (such as your parents) who live in a low cost area, and haul in between $70-$80K. That's about $700/week, each. Half the country lives on $500/wk or less. During the four years between when I retire and when I start collecting SS, I will live on less than $600/wk from dividends and interest. I figure it will be puh-lenty, for those four years (knock on wood).
I have worked in high-earning jobs my entire life, with multiple graduate degrees, and I'll be "earning" $600/wk. I would not dream of throwing myself on my kids for help. In fact, the only concern I have is that on $600/wk, I will no longer be able to fund my younger two kids' Roths. Being that they're thick in the middle of the middle-class-jobs dearth that started in the 90s, they're scrambling to keep body and soul together on the nationwide median income scale, cited above. That is, $500/wk.
You want me to feel sorry for your parents - why, exactly? I don't mean to be unsympathetic, but wtf?
You want me to feel sorry for your parents - why, exactly? I don't mean to be unsympathetic, but wtf?
Jane_sm1th73: I am feeling the same way.
There are so many people existing on so much less. Read some of the other posts on this thread; thankfully a lot of people have found a way to do it and be OK with it.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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Your parents are not retirees, if your father gets laid off he's certainly young enough to get a new job, I started this one at age 57, he should have a good 0 years left and that could be enough to get at least a small pension. We won't be retiring for a few years yet, but we are helping out my parent in their mid 80s at times, mostly work at their 5 acre home, but sometimes money when they get into a bind living on only social security. For example, when they couldn't afford a new pump and tank for their well. Our kids are doing just fine, and we are too, and will have good pensions, savings and other investments when we do retire so shouldn't have to be a burden on the kids, but things happen and no one, even with the best planning, is sure of their financial future.
Before this, I expected they'd need some degree of assistance, but this really seals the deal.
I fail to see where any deal has been sealed.
Are you implying that you will now have to support your parents? I just don't see that happening, even if they were to lose one income. You'd have to be awfully wealthy, to replace even that one income for them!
Convo, it's hard to summon up a lot of pity for people (such as your parents) who live in a low cost area, and haul in between $70-$80K. That's about $700/week, each. Half the country lives on $500/wk or less. During the four years between when I retire and when I start collecting SS, I will live on less than $600/wk from dividends and interest. I figure it will be puh-lenty, for those four years (knock on wood).
I have worked in high-earning jobs my entire life, with multiple graduate degrees, and I'll be "earning" $600/wk. I would not dream of throwing myself on my kids for help. In fact, the only concern I have is that on $600/wk, I will no longer be able to fund my younger two kids' Roths. Being that they're thick in the middle of the middle-class-jobs dearth that started in the 90s, they're scrambling to keep body and soul together on the nationwide median income scale, cited above. That is, $500/wk.
You want me to feel sorry for your parents - why, exactly? I don't mean to be unsympathetic, but wtf?
This makes me think the OP feels sorry for his parents...maybe even a little disgusted at their lack of ambition...and fearful that it'll all come back on HIM! Maybe the parents are feeling okay about things and that's what makes OP so nervous!
OP - you can do what you want, help them or not. If you want to let them know about options to save for retirement, fine - just don't assume they're gonna take all your money.
No they arent helping at this time, but do send on rare occasion a small check just because or give me gift cards on special occasions. Trying to live on a shoestring budget and when that doesn't take me through have to use credit card which now that's sky high. When my husband passed away I lost over 2000 per month and had little life insurance.Still grateful for what I do have and that I have enough right now. Yes your attitude is lacking as am sure your parents had to scrape to raise you and other siblings. You can also help them out in smaller ways by giving them a gas card, gift card for groceries or to go to a nice place for dinner. Try to be a bit more compassionate towards them.
Last edited by luv my dayton; 08-13-2015 at 05:49 AM..
Reason: spelling error
So we often hear about the "sandwich generation" where young to middle aged boomers are squeezed between taking care of aging parents and "failure to launch" kids. However, we never seem to hear about the reverse.
My parents are in their mid-50s, decent income but not much savings in one of the worst areas in the country for jobs. Some of their debt collectors have called me looking for them. They've basically refused to leave the area, even when dad lost his job in 2008, and have just kind of muddled along since.
He was put on a "final written warning" from his call center job today and was demoted to day shift. This will put their combined income somewhere between $70k-$80k, probably earning $35k-$40k each. This place has never been secure and I think this is the final plan to get him out the door. Before this, I expected they'd need some degree of assistance, but this really seals the deal.
How many of you retirees are being assisted by younger relatives?
1} I agree with whomever said the thing about not pitying your parents. Even at just the $35-40K, their income is higher than many others! Even living in a higher COLA place there are options, and those who "live" on that or less.
2
2}ARE YOU really contributing to their welfare? you say "this really seals the deal"-are you sending money? or do you THINK {only} that you will have to?
3} We HAVE NO CHILDREN to "support us' in older age, and we'd NOT DREAM of doing it even if we did have children!!
4} we are in our mid-50s, our remaining parents DO on occasion throw some dollars our way, but it is NOT required. They are simply passing on some inheritance early enough to watch us enjoy it!
5] DON'T help your parents unless YOU WANT TO. You seem to NOT like doing so, BUT remember THEY sacrificed TO RAISE YOU! {nowadays they say it takes $240k to raise a child to age 18, and DOESN'T include college costs!!} They may then have sacrificed JUST enough for retirement to raise you and any siblings you have IF you DON'T want to help, and do, YOU will resent them more!
So we often hear about the "sandwich generation" where young to middle aged boomers are squeezed between taking care of aging parents and "failure to launch" kids. However, we never seem to hear about the reverse.
My parents are in their mid-50s, decent income but not much savings in one of the worst areas in the country for jobs. Some of their debt collectors have called me looking for them. They've basically refused to leave the area, even when dad lost his job in 2008, and have just kind of muddled along since.
He was put on a "final written warning" from his call center job today and was demoted to day shift. This will put their combined income somewhere between $70k-$80k, probably earning $35k-$40k each. This place has never been secure and I think this is the final plan to get him out the door. Before this, I expected they'd need some degree of assistance, but this really seals the deal.
Time to have a serious talk with mom and dad. Tell them to get a FP and figure things out b/c you're not going to support them. Obviously your support would be enabling them to live a loosy goosy financial life, on your dime. If they are living in a bad area of the country with that kind of income, they should be able to SAVE the entirety of one of those incomes. Something is seriously wrong and you're being naive to think you should have to jump in to "support" them in any way.
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