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I have been married for 38 years. I did not even date a single man before my husband. He is my best friend and a great life partner. I have been very happily married. However, I don't believe in the concept of 'soul mate' or there can be only one 'Mr. Right'. We share many things in common but it took some adjustments over the years (mostly in my part due to my A+ type personality) to accept and cherish each other 'as is'.
So my answer to the OP's question is that I absolutely prefer being married to single both before and after retirement. Would I consider remarry or involve with someone if my husband predeceases me? I an an introvert and enjoy my solitude at times but I also enjoy doing things with others. Somehow, everything seems to be better and the experience is more enhanced when you can share with another person or persons. So the answer to this question is a very likely yes. I may not necessarily remarry but would certainly find few flying, rowing, hiking, traveling, literature/scientific disccussion buddies. If a person or persons (either sex) share many things in common with me, we can become more constant companions. At this stage in my life, good friends 'without benefits' are more pluses than minuses ;-)
I remember I did a Thread, different forum, about how some people hold on to anger from marrying someone they shouldn't have and finally getting a divorce. We've had three divorced/older neighbor ladies that seemed to be just like that. Whenever I would talk to them, and men would come into the conversation, it seemed like all three of them just wanted to bash the male society. None of them really wanted to see wife and I together, laughing/joking around. Anyway, all three have moved away, and to be honest, I'm glad they did. I could only take so much "male bashing"! A guy I knew, who was the manager at our local boat/rv storage, was the same way. He had nothing good to say about females. He was divorced after years of marriage. He no longer works at the storage facilities and I'm very glad of that!
As for me, I was hurt/angry when my wife left me. BTW, I forgot to say that I married my "ex" twice........a REAL mistake! Anyway, I was really hurt/angry, but had to get over that in order to meet the "right" one; of which I did.
There are people that, after a bad divorce, absolutely don't want to share their life with a partner again and there are those that are very happily married (or somewhat that way) and don't ever want to be single. Either way has it's good and bad.
I just think there are too many people who hold on too much to a bad marriage they had. Wife and I were both in bad marriages, but that didn't stop us from finding each other and KNOWING what REAL love is!
LoveBoating: I enjoyed reading your post. You are so right, too many ex-wives and ex-husbands who never get over the hurt of what they had before. I was like that for too many years after my divorce. But it wasn't just about his cheating, it was also how he had hurt our children.
I have been divorced a very long time and think I am ready to find someone special to spend the rest of my life with. However, finding someone at my age (73) isn't really easy. It seems a lot of guys are looking for younger ladies (with money). But I'm not giving up (yet, anyway).
I am having coffee with someone I haven't met yet on Tuesday. Wish me luck!
Can anyone tell me why a man would have two last names?
For the same reason a woman might - usually because they chose to use both surnames when they marry.
When that happens, they often pass the joint surnames to their children, so if the man is not married that might be the reason.
I would never marry because of complications with finances. If you don't mix finances why would you marry and I could never trust anyone else to mix finances.
For the same reason a woman might - usually because they chose to use both surnames when they marry.
When that happens, they often pass the joint surnames to their children, so if the man is not married that might be the reason.
Can anyone tell me why a man would have two last names?
can you give a few more details? If you have seen two pictures of the same man with two different last names, I can't think of a good answer, although this seems to have happened often in Jane Austen's era.
If this is the man you are meeting for coffee, I would ask him. Maybe he has been recently adopted.
I am envious. Your life is more exciting than mine.
He does not use them together, as in hyphenated "Smith-Jones" .
Some people choose to hyphenate, some don't. Hyphenation makes sense in come cases: dh and I say if we had it to do over again, we'd use both our names, with mine first and hyphenate them. That's because my maiden surname is at the beginning of the alphabet and his is at the end. As it is, we have long wait times when folks are going in alphabetical order.
The main problem with hypenated surnames is when a child with one marries and the couple wants to use both names. So they end up being John and Mary Jones-Smith Doe. Without hypenation, they could choose which two names to use: John and Mary Jones Doe.
And imagine if both had hypenphenated surnames: John and Mary Jones-Smith Doe-Buck. Something would need to give.
My father had a family name surname as his middle name and used all three names in his signature
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Something would need to give.
