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It seems reasonable, and I have thought the same thing. Just hope he doesn't develop dementia and start waking up all hours of the night, multiple times a night, peeing on the floor, walking outside in the snow, yelling out for Mommy, the falls..... Sometimes night-time care is the most exhausting. Just having to get up every 2 hours to turn my father was enough to push me to the edge. There's a reason why sleep deprivation is used as a torture device.
Luckily the ALC where MIL lives can handle her 24/7 wandering and babbling and falling. It's not until the sun goes down that she really gets going. I can't even imagine what it would be like trying to handle her at home.
usually someone learns the hard way about attempting care on their own once they get injured . if you ever tried to lift 200 lbs of dead weight with no muscle support you know what i am saying .
i am pretty strong but i couldn't imagine lifting my dad 24/7 at my age .
It seems reasonable, and I have thought the same thing. Just hope he doesn't develop dementia and start waking up all hours of the night, multiple times a night, peeing on the floor, walking outside in the snow, yelling out for Mommy, the falls..... Sometimes night-time care is the most exhausting. Just having to get up every 2 hours to turn my father was enough to push me to the edge. There's a reason why sleep deprivation is used as a torture device.
I agree with you when it comes to dementia. Impossible to handle at home when it gets bad based on what I've observed. Robyn
usually someone learns the hard way about attempting care on their own once they get injured . if you ever tried to lift 200 lbs of dead weight with no muscle support you know what i am saying .
i am pretty strong but i couldn't imagine lifting my dad 24/7 at my age .
Agree about handling people who are "dead weight". No matter where you care for someone like this - you need 2 people to assist them to avoid risk of injury to anyone. Probably some specialized equipment (like a Hoyer lift) as well. I don't know if this kind of care is available in an ALF (as opposed to a SNF). It can be done at home (just takes more money). Robyn
Luckily the ALC where MIL lives can handle her 24/7 wandering and babbling and falling. It's not until the sun goes down that she really gets going. I can't even imagine what it would be like trying to handle her at home.
Five months ago my MIL was diagnosed with suspected Lewy Body dementia after being found wandering her senior apartment complex at 3:00 am trying to escape 8 foot tall men chasing her which she pulled the fire alarm to summon help. This episode led to a hospitalization, several geri-psych evaluations and all determined long term nursing home placement was the best option to maintain a safe environment for her. Prior to this rather sudden onset of dementia, my MIL was very independent and was driving. When she is having a good day she is as coherent as the best of us, but on bad days she can become quite psychotic. This has been difficult on my husband because my MIL blames him for the situation she is in because she does not acknowledge she has a cognitive problem, and she spends her days phoning everyone and anyone she can think of including the police and a state senator that she thinks can help "spring her from this awful place". Actually her nursing home is top rated, she receives great care, and her roommate is lovely. Nobody wants to nursing home placement to be their swan song, but my MIL if very lucky considering she will be on Medicaid soon and ended up in a top rated facility where many of the residents are private pay.
I plan to move from New York to an active retirement community in Arizona when I turn sixty-six years old in three years. Would I have to set up a new partnership plan with Arizona? When I told my banker (referencing my original post) I would wait till I got to Arizona before I considered setting up a trust to protect my assets should I have to go into a nursing home, she brought up the five year look back period dilemma.
Your banker needs to stop practicing law. Here's the reality on LTC.
Medicare pays nothing for LTC. Medicaid has very strict rules about your assets before you qualify. You are pretty dang close to being broke to qualify for medicaid. They will not allow you to have assets, even in a irrevokable trust.
We have trusts, even on a irrevokable trust, your name is on it. It still belongs to you, The irrevokable part starts at death of first party listed. Example husband & wife, wife dies the irrevokable part kicks in. You can change from irrevokable to revokable, we did it on one of ours a couple years ago. Once first party dies, you can not change to revokable. There are different kinds of trusts, depending on the state. If you relocate to a new state, you will have to go through the process again using your new states law.
What you should worry about with a trust, it's a vehicle to protect assets from goofy lawsuits. You have to fill out forms you have no lawsuits pending and don't expect to. The clock starts ticking and your state has a time period 2 to 5 years where you aren't protected and can still be sued.
If you have trusts, there is upkeep & costs to keep them current. Every year. All your assets need to be placed in them. Anything outside, like a forgotten checking account, can be taken if a law suit occurs. And it costs money with the trust attorneys to place assets under the umbella.
There is no one who is in a regular nursing home getting a free ride when the person in the next bed is paying. They are not getting the same treatment. If a home has a medicaid part, they are separate from the people who pay and aren't treated the same. (Maybe in a small town with one nursing home might be different.) Recently a friend of mine needed to place her very ill daughter who has MS in a home. She was on Medicaid & mom was given a list of what homes daughter could go into. They were all unacceptable, smelled like urine and mom chose to take care of her.
Some states like Oregon have better social networks to fall back on than others.
Recently we've had several relatives in nursing homes.
Straight Medicaid homes are H#ll holes, they stink like urine & crap. You might get your diapers changed once a day. They are seriously understaffed. Food is awful. These are for people who are strictly on medicaid. Broke folks. My grandmother was in one. Trust me no one would want to be in one.
You can have a relative in LTC who is broke and other family members pay the difference. My SIL mom was in a home. Medicaid paid the first $1100.00 per month. SIL paid the other $6700.00 per month so mom didn't have to go to the H#ll hole plain medicare home.
Last edited by foundapeanut; 01-27-2016 at 10:55 PM..
There is no one who is in a regular nursing home getting a free ride when the person in the next bed is paying. They are not getting the same treatment. If a home has a medicaid part, they are separate from the people who pay and aren't treated the same.
Recently we've had several relatives in nursing homes.
Straight Medicaid homes are H#ll holes, they stink like urine & crap. You might get your diapers changed once a day. They are seriously understaffed. Food is awful. These are for people who are strictly on medicaid. Broke folks. My grandmother was in one. Trust me no one would want to be in one.
You can have a relative in LTC who is broke and other family members pay the difference. My SIL mom was in a home. Medicaid paid the first $1100.00 per month. SIL paid the other $6700.00 per month so mom didn't have to go to the H#ll hole plain medicare home.
you nailed it, I mentioned that earlier in this thread. I had a neighbor who was transferred to a medicaid bed when she had no more money and it was really bad, her condition began to deteriorate shortly after she was transferred to that ward. Several years ago some of my friends and I would go to the local nursing home and visit with the patients who had no visitors. The medicaid rooms were four bed wards in the back of the facility, they were disgusting, it was hard to stay in the rooms they smelled so bad. The other rooms in the facility were bright and cheery and the patients didn't seem in distress. If folks would go visit some of those places they wouldn't be trying to figure out how to protect their assets to devise a way to live in conditions like that. If that was my only option I would figure out a way to kill myself before I ended up in one of those places.
I still cry thinking about my grandmothers living in what she did in 1972. My family didn't have the money to make another arrangement. My mother (her daughter) was dead from cancer. Dad trying his best to raise his kids on his own. I will never forget. Thank God she didn't last long in there. But that was probably because of her lack of care.
Five months ago my MIL was diagnosed with suspected Lewy Body dementia after being found wandering her senior apartment complex at 3:00 am trying to escape 8 foot tall men chasing her which she pulled the fire alarm to summon help. This episode led to a hospitalization, several geri-psych evaluations and all determined long term nursing home placement was the best option to maintain a safe environment for her. Prior to this rather sudden onset of dementia, my MIL was very independent and was driving. When she is having a good day she is as coherent as the best of us, but on bad days she can become quite psychotic. This has been difficult on my husband because my MIL blames him for the situation she is in because she does not acknowledge she has a cognitive problem, and she spends her days phoning everyone and anyone she can think of including the police and a state senator that she thinks can help "spring her from this awful place". Actually her nursing home is top rated, she receives great care, and her roommate is lovely. Nobody wants to nursing home placement to be their swan song, but my MIL if very lucky considering she will be on Medicaid soon and ended up in a top rated facility where many of the residents are private pay.
Just to forewarn you, sometimes even after you have been private pay for the required minimum amount of time (in my area you usually have to show that you can pay for two full years to get into a good SNF) the nursing home that "promised" to keep you when Medicaid kicks in suddenly does not have any Medicaid beds available or you may have to be hospitalized for something and when you are released the facility that you came from is now "full" and you need to find a SNF that accepts Medicaid patients from the start or you are transferred to a Medicaid bed on a different wing in the same SNF. Or, if your level of care changes that section of the SNF is "full" so you can't stay anymore.
I am NOT saying that will happen to your MIL, but I have personally known several people who had that happen to their loved one, so don't just assume that she will be in the same situation forever. Yes, she may but she may not.
Your banker needs to stop practicing law. Here's the reality on LTC.
Medicare pays nothing for LTC. Medicaid has very strict rules about your assets before you qualify. You are pretty dang close to being broke to qualify for medicaid. They will not allow you to have assets, even in a irrevokable trust.
We have trusts, even on a irrevokable trust, your name is on it. It still belongs to you, The irrevokable part starts at death of first party listed. Example husband & wife, wife dies the irrevokable part kicks in. You can change from irrevokable to revokable, we did it on one of ours a couple years ago. Once first party dies, you can not change to revokable. There are different kinds of trusts, depending on the state. If you relocate to a new state, you will have to go through the process again using your new states law.
What you should worry about with a trust, it's a vehicle to protect assets from goofy lawsuits. You have to fill out forms you have no lawsuits pending and don't expect to. The clock starts ticking and your state has a time period 2 to 5 years where you aren't protected and can still be sued.
If you have trusts, there is upkeep & costs to keep them current. Every year. All your assets need to be placed in them. Anything outside, like a forgotten checking account, can be taken if a law suit occurs. And it costs money with the trust attorneys to place assets under the umbella.
There is no one who is in a regular nursing home getting a free ride when the person in the next bed is paying. They are not getting the same treatment. If a home has a medicaid part, they are separate from the people who pay and aren't treated the same. (Maybe in a small town with one nursing home might be different.) Recently a friend of mine needed to place her very ill daughter who has MS in a home. She was on Medicaid & mom was given a list of what homes daughter could go into. They were all unacceptable, smelled like urine and mom chose to take care of her.
Some states like Oregon have better social networks to fall back on than others.
Recently we've had several relatives in nursing homes.
Straight Medicaid homes are H#ll holes, they stink like urine & crap. You might get your diapers changed once a day. They are seriously understaffed. Food is awful. These are for people who are strictly on medicaid. Broke folks. My grandmother was in one. Trust me no one would want to be in one.
You can have a relative in LTC who is broke and other family members pay the difference. My SIL mom was in a home. Medicaid paid the first $1100.00 per month. SIL paid the other $6700.00 per month so mom didn't have to go to the H#ll hole plain medicare home.
not all of this is totally true and can vary state to state .. assets can and are moved in to an irrevocable medicaid trust while both party's are alive . the trust only has to be in existence 5 years to be isolated from medicaid .
"The Basics of Medicaid Trusts
A Medicaid trust is a way to transfer money to someone you trust with restrictions so that they cannot just keep the money. If you no longer qualify for long-term care insurance, a Medicaid trust is a great way to secure your future eligibility for Medicaid. The key word here is “future,” because a Medicaid trust will not qualify you for Medicaid immediately – there will be a penalty period, which can be up to five years but is often less. If you have an immediate need for Medicaid, there is a number of other techniques we can use, such as a Gift and Loan or a spousal refusal.
As a part of creating a New York Medicaid trust, you will have to transfer your assets in the name of the trust, i.e. transfer your money and stocks to your trust’s account and re-title your property to the trust.
Peter creates a Medicaid Trust. For it to work, he has to transfer most of his money and stock to an account belonging to “Doe Trust 0945” and deed his house to “Doe Trust 0945”. This is the only way Medicaid will accept the premise that Peter no longer has the money.
Once assets are put into a Medicaid trust, it is impossible to take them out. It goes without saying that once you take the assets back from the trust, you lose the Medicaid eligibility. It is this inability to revoke or amend the trust is what makes the trust untouchable by Medicaid—because you no longer own the property, you prevent Medicaid from asserting you don’t meet the Medicaid resource limit. The trustee of your choosing will manage the trust. This is usually the person who is very close to you, such as a son or daughter, although some trusts are managed by an attorney or a bank. Some people opt to have more then one trustee, for example, two children and an attorney or a banker.
Once again, planning in advance is key. A proper Medicaid trust which is more then 5 years old will qualify you for Medicaid bar none, but a “younger” trust may incur a period of ineligibilty (the waiting period), as will be discussed.
You can receive income from the trust, as long as the income is below the Medicaid eligibility limit. Medicaid will count the income, but “ignore” the principal of the trust. Any income over the Medicaid limit will have to be put back into the trust. "
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