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Thanks for the link. I just watched it an L'dM*O. I then found and watched several other George Carlin videos. Funny "stuff."
Now that we who are retiring are downsizing, we find we can't get rid of our "stuff." Our kids don't want it, our peers have their own stuff, how the heck do we get rid of it? Every estate sale I go to, and for that matter, Goodwill store or Salvation Army store, has the same "stuff" I have, or had. It's like shopping at my own house.
I moved to Texas in 2003, I had an estate sale before I left Michigan. I lived in my first home 8 years and still had boxes I never unpacked, so when I moved back to Michigan in 2012 I had another estate sale as I was taking minimal "stuff" with me. 5 months later I moved back to Texas and stored my "stuff" that I moved from Texas to begin with. I didn't unpack most of it during the 5 months I lived in Michigan. I have now lived in my current, and last, home almost 3 years and still have "stuff" in my garage I haven't unpacked! I do want to emphasize that I only kept "stuff" that I loved and that meant something to me, and it is basically all decor items. However, in my new downsized home, I don't have a place for some of it, and yet I can't get rid of it because this is "stuff" I am emotionally attached to!
OK, I'm done with my "stuff." Anyone else have a story about their "stuff" in retirement?
How about taking pics or videos of the decor item - video is especially good because you can "walk around" the item and see it from all angles. Think of what you could do with china, crystal, silverware, and linens that are never seen any more, much less used - set the whole table and video from different perspectives - standing up and sitting down.
Maybe do that for a number of your pieces, put the pieces back away and out of sight, then wait a couple weeks and view the videos and see how you feel about it. Do you get the warm feeling, even without the object actually being there? If you still feel good, maybe THEN you'll be okay with "donating" the item to wherever it needs to go. Digital just means a bigger hard drive or cloud storage!
It is a sad fact that most of the things that parents have held on to over the years will not be treasured by family members. Their children are often more mobile, moving more frequently than their parents, living less cluttered lives, traveling more and in general just less tied down.
Often parents have lived in the same home for 40 or 50 years or more. When their kids left home the parents either kept their bedrooms the same or filled them with more things.
One of my friends recently had to get rid of an entire houseful of beautiful antiques. His mom died at age 95 and she spent her entire life collecting antiques. She always thought her kids would share the antiques, but NONE of the kids, or grandkids, or cousins were able to take any of them. None of them had room or desire for large, heavy pieces of furniture. I tried to help him find a buyer because they were truly beautiful but we were told over and over that people today aren't buying antiques. They were sold for literally pennies on the dollar. Such a waste.
True, and there is another factor involved. My mother asked several times if I want some of her framed art. I told her I didn't have room for it (already have some). Aside from storage and space questions, I think she would be better off selling them and using the proceeds for her own needs or enjoyment. She has expressed worries about not having enough money eventually, so selling her own things would both declutter and provide a little cash.
I want HER to choose what to sell because then she can't later blame me for purging something she regrets letting go. Also, since she is the one who knows the market, she is more likely to get better offers for it. If I had the stuff, I would just be trying to regain the storage space. As stated earlier, I am slowly selling or donating my own stuff--the only big purges were at moving time--and don't intend to sell my things only to have someone else's things taking their place.
Passing the storage buck to heirs carries a freightload of guilt with it. "How could you sell that precious knickknack she cherished?!!?" I see that has not been mentioned in this thread among the complaints about the work and inconvenience involved in disposing of a parent's belongings. Just a baldfaced demand that cash be paid out for doing the job.
In anticipation of my pending retirement and move we have begun the process of going through things. Wow. Frankly,I am embarrassed by the amount of stuff we have that hasn't been used in who knows how long. We regularly contribute items to Goodwill or it would be much worse than it is. And a lot of it is stuff I've accumulated for the man cave that somehow never got used,so I sure can't blame my wife for all this stuff!
Fortunately, I just learned of a co-worker whose son just got his first apartment and needs everything. In speaking with her it seems as though I'm going to be able to give away quite a bit of the extras we have. The rest will be picked up by the Salvation Army to hopefully help others.
Comparatively speaking,we must be the richest people on the planet to have so many unused things laying around.
My one child and grandkids don't want my stuff. I know that. I got rid of such much gold and gave my daughter the money. I kept 2 pair of my favorite earrings and that's it.
Each time before my parents died, my sis and I would visit them and do some cleaning out on each trip, as we knew it would be on our backs when they were gone. It was.
One trip my dad had about 50 short sleeve shirts hanging in his closet, he had a couple he wore and they were his favorites. So I said to mom, I'm going to clean out the closet and take all these shirts to goodwill. So I had a pile of shirts to go to goodwill and she had so much fear that he would be so p****ed so she set them aside in a pile in a corner. He found them and hung them all back up.
It's gotta be that depression mentality. Can't let go of stuff.
As a practical matter getting rid of clothing items after someone's death is not really that much of a horrible burden. You go through them rapidly in order to throw out what is really not usable, then you load them up and make a trip (or two trips?) to Goodwill/Salvation Army/other.
Sure, in an ideal world the elderly person would have downsized in the clothing department him or her-self, and I understand the frustration of those who have attempted to reason with a parent about this, but my point here is that it is also possible to make too much of a big deal about it.
There was a St. Vincent de Paul thrift shop just a couple of blocks from where my mother was living when she died, and my sister and I followed the procedure in my first paragraph.
Some charities have 'estate service' where they will come by with a moving van and take anything they think they can sell in their thrift stores: clothing, kitchen items, furniture, bric-a-brac, electronics, etc. Just point; they do all the heavy lifting. Easy way to empty a house (and garage) in one day.
Putting books in bags today and some glass products in boxes for the Rescue Mission. With the internet, I don't think people even want old books anymore.
My one child and grandkids don't want my stuff. I know that. I got rid of such much gold and gave my daughter the money. I kept 2 pair of my favorite earrings and that's it.
Each time before my parents died, my sis and I would visit them and do some cleaning out on each trip, as we knew it would be on our backs when they were gone. It was.
One trip my dad had about 50 short sleeve shirts hanging in his closet, he had a couple he wore and they were his favorites. So I said to mom, I'm going to clean out the closet and take all these shirts to goodwill. So I had a pile of shirts to go to goodwill and she had so much fear that he would be so p****ed so she set them aside in a pile in a corner. He found them and hung them all back up.
It's gotta be that depression mentality. Can't let go of stuff.
Or maybe it's the mentality that you had no right to tell him that he has to throw out those things that he worked hard to buy, while he still can use them, so that YOU can have an easier time when he dies.
In anticipation of my pending retirement and move we have begun the process of going through things. Wow. Frankly,I am embarrassed by the amount of stuff we have that hasn't been used in who knows how long. We regularly contribute items to Goodwill or it would be much worse than it is. And a lot of it is stuff I've accumulated for the man cave that somehow never got used,so I sure can't blame my wife for all this stuff!
Fortunately, I just learned of a co-worker whose son just got his first apartment and needs everything. In speaking with her it seems as though I'm going to be able to give away quite a bit of the extras we have. The rest will be picked up by the Salvation Army to hopefully help others.
Comparatively speaking,we must be the richest people on the planet to have so many unused things laying around.
I haven't used a 15mm socket or a pipe wrench in maybe 10 years, but that doesn't mean I should toss them out.
What is this obsession with running people's life like an efficiency expert runs an office?
How did the media do such an amazing job of convincing all the sheep that private possessions are shameful and living with nothing but the most utilitarian surroundings is some type of virtue? Is it a preparation for when all of the jobs have been off shored to make us content to have only the very basics in life?
Does anyone remember when the word 'stuff' just mean 'those things' instead of 'useless garbage clogging up my life that I've been told is evil'? It didn't just spontaneously change.
It's like walking across the street in the middle of a block. Before automobiles, you crossed the street anywhere it was convenient. When cars and trucks became predominant, social engineers coined the pejorative term 'jaywalking' to re-brand walking across the street outside of crosswalks as shameful and ignorant, when it had always been the norm previously.
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