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I can't remember being called young lady ever. It used to bother me when I was in my early 50's & I was asked if I should get the senior discount but once I reached 55, I enjoyed it. There were even times I had to show my driver's license. I enjoy being an elder.
I just know that someone's trying to patronize me (not that offensive an act in our over-sensitized culture), and let it pass, for the time being. It helps me recognize that the person using the term is at least trying to look a little further beneath the surface, but you can't determine whether it's out of a desire to manipulate, or simple courtesy until the exchange goes a little further.
Last edited by 2nd trick op; 09-11-2016 at 03:31 PM..
I think calling an older woman 'young lady' is patronizing, and it signals to me that the person thinks of you as a docile dimwit, and signals that the only women in society who really have worth are young women.
And calling older men 'young man' is rarely done because it would be condescending.
I think 'little old lady' is wrong too. You never hear the term 'little old man'. It is reserved for women to diminish and patronize older women as if they have lost their worth in the world.
Also calling women in their mid to late 20's, 30's, and 40's and older 'girls' is also patronizing and meant to diminish.
Similarly, when one is about to marry a 34 year old man, one doesn't say he is a 'great boy'.
Last edited by matisse12; 09-11-2016 at 04:29 PM..
I just turned 60 myself, so I include myself in that group.
How do you feel when someone addresses you as "young lady" or "young man"? To me it is mildly offensive, like calling a fat person "Tiny".
Like, you know, and I know, that you are old, but I will pretend you are young and you will pretend to be flattered. Just icky.
Hate it, want to shake my fist at the whippersnapper, seriously though it's just so rude, I'm getting very good at rolling my eyes and exhaling loudly!
I just turned 60 myself, so I include myself in that group.
How do you feel when someone addresses you as "young lady" or "young man"? To me it is mildly offensive, like calling a fat person "Tiny".
Like, you know, and I know, that you are old, but I will pretend you are young and you will pretend to be flattered. Just icky.
I put it in the same category as "honey," "darling," "sugar," and "sweetie," and do not take umbrage at the people who say this; ....bless their hearts...
I am 69. I haven't been addressed as young lady in decades. If I were, I'd be irritated, possible enough to say something. I have been addressed as Miss, and I suppose that is what the bosses tell people to use as a title, but I'd rather be called Madam, as they did in London.
A number of years ago, what really did irritate me was a realtor telling my DH and me repeatedly that we were cute. I resented it; I thought it demeaning. Who repeatedly calls an older couple cute? I assure you we are pretty typically an older couple and we aren't that cute at all.
I also don't like this usage: XX years young. Oh for goodness sake. If I am 69, then I am 69 years old. Why try to soften it? That's my age however you say it.
At any rate, these are really minor things. Except for the really nice middle aged guy who calls me Miss at the market, I don't run into this sort of thing very often.
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