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This is perhaps somewhat of a contradiction, but one of the freedoms which comes especially in retirement is the freedom to choose, or not to choose, to accept a given commitment. If a person has chosen a commitment which is fulfilling and gratifying, I don't see that person as being less free than someone who is not committed to anything at all.
One fundamental difference between a commitment made as a retiree and the commitments we had while still working is that the commitments we have in retirement are so easily set aside; there is normally no financial downside to giving them up, for one thing.
For what, exactly, are we keeping ourselves free by having no commitments at all? To go see a movie on a whim 24/7, subject only to the times when that movie is shown? To have one too many drinks at any time because we won't have to drive anywhere? That kind of "absolute" freedom doesn't offer any attraction to me personally, as I can still manage to go see the movie, and I can defer having the extra drink(s) until such time as I won't have to drive anywhere.
We decided to let loose of our rut and sell our house so we could retire to a new place. Turns out it has turned our world upside down since we can't find another place to buy or lease (in our price range) in the area we had dreamed about. Living out of boxes week after week in a month to month rental wasn't part of the plan. I am reminded of the saying "the grass is always greener" as I try not to think too much about the sweet, but boring house/life we left behind.
I moved to get out of a tired old rut. First few years, it felt like I was flying. last few years, the engine is running real slow. Yes, I still love that I have a small house that's all mine, just not where it is anymore. When I chill out and try to be peaceful, I keep looking for something new. I didn't try to do this. It just did.
I'm getting tired. Same old every day. No way to get around so I exist in borderline boredom.
But....
My son wants me to move closer, and even provide a home. I have some concerns, and will sell this place. It hurts to think that since I was/is proud to say I own it...its MINE.
But.... I'll have a home with family, and wonderful things like public transportation, and stores, and entertainment. Strip off the feeling sorry for oneself. What has more, somewhere with family and a life or somewhere you own your hideyhole and there's no real reason to go out since you've already looked?????
I took that leap of faith once, and it was a good ride. But its time for another one. Life is not about that one spot you stopped on the road, but knowing when its time to move on.
Come spring, I should be out of here, new state, new family, and freedom to explore.
By routine, I mean like where I get a cup of coffee when out. When I go to the library
Because I am retiring at the same time I'm moving, I will be completely changing my current messed-up routine. I've been working third shift for many years now, and my only routine has been sleeping/trying to sleep and taking care of dogs, getting on the highway to make an overnight living. I will need a few better routines than that! Like cooking more. Exercising. Getting out more. A completely different structure.
Except for dog feeding times, nothing will be the same. If you haven't done it, it's hard to imagine the havoc that night shifts can make in life.
I think moving from the East Coast to a small Western mountain town will be quite new enough!
Nothing wrong with a rut as long as you are not static. A river flows strongly along "a rut" and can carve out a beautiful canyon over time, or bring much needed water to those downstream.
I love this, luv4horses! Is this your own quote?
It's somewhat like a quote by Meghan Daum that I love and try to live by:
"…the key to contentment is to live life to the fullest within the confines of our comfort zone. Stay in safe waters but plunge as deeply into them as possible."
Where we live is only one element in the variety and excitement of life. Our life doesn't have to be "routine" just because we have lived in the same house for 15 or 20 or more years. New friends, new interests, new activities, new travel destinations and new experiences are possible! The exception to that might be if we live in a very small town. I have made many interesting discoveries, several outside the state of California, despite having lived within a circle of 8 or 10 miles in radius for the past 32 years. Expand the radius of the circle to 20 miles and it becomes 50 years.
In a larger city, new things arrive almost on our doorstep from time to time. It was only five or six years ago that the World War II battleship USS Iowa arrived as a permanent museum in Los Angeles (San Pedro Harbor), thus enriching our already rich area. Walt Disney Concert Hall is only about 11 years old, and the Catholic cathedral with its intriguing architecture is about that same age (give or take).
By routine, I mean like where I get a cup of coffee when out. When I go to the library
Because I am retiring at the same time I'm moving, I will be completely changing my current messed-up routine. I've been working third shift for many years now, and my only routine has been sleeping/trying to sleep and taking care of dogs, getting on the highway to make an overnight living. I will need a few better routines than that! Like cooking more. Exercising. Getting out more. A completely different structure.
Except for dog feeding times, nothing will be the same. If you haven't done it, it's hard to imagine the havoc that night shifts can make in life.
I think moving from the East Coast to a small Western mountain town will be quite new enough!
That's a big change! How adventurous! Good luck to you.
Listen, I had a great-aunt who moved from New Jersey to Florida...when she was 95 years old. She died three months short of her 100th birthday. She did move with someone--her nephew's widow, but still, it was a hell of a decision, and I always admired her.
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