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Old 01-15-2017, 12:42 PM
 
Location: Haiku
7,132 posts, read 4,768,427 times
Reputation: 10327

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I hate doctors and I also get grumpy when DW is nagging me to go, but sometimes you really need to and this might be one of those. If it were just pain, that is one thing that can be toughed-out with no real harm. But he might have a blood clot in there which is always bad as they can bust loose and wreck havoc in the lungs, brain, or heart. He really should have it looked at.

Tell him that he needs to think of you if not himself. If he ends up with an embolism and a stroke, he is putting a huge burden on you to then take care of him. That is not good. This is the logic that gets me to a doc - I worry about what will happen to my wife if I don't and something bad happens.

 
Old 01-15-2017, 12:46 PM
 
Location: near bears but at least no snakes
26,654 posts, read 28,682,916 times
Reputation: 50530
He has finally agreed to let me call the doctor tomorrow. Now the pain has gone down to his feet and he is using the heating pad. I hope and pray I can get an appointment for him. Then the next step will be making sure he goes. I plan on talking to the nurse beforehand to alert them to what is going on and probably to get a wheelchair so he can get into the office.

I gave him a small lecture on how he should have gone months ago and I think he was feeling too weak to give me any lip back. Now he's saying he thinks he broke something. Could be--that fall he had when I told him he might have broken something but he kept saying he didn't.

No fever, no redness, his knee is probably still swollen but he's asleep covered up in blankets so I can't see.
 
Old 01-15-2017, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Redwood City, CA
15,250 posts, read 12,964,014 times
Reputation: 54051
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
I don't blame him for not wanting to make a doctor visit. If it's gout or arthritis, there is not much that can be done other than taking ibuprofen which is an anti-inflammatory.
Not necessarily so. Certain kinds of arthritic changes can be made pain-free with physical therapy. He needs to be examined and a course of treatment determined. It's a little early to decide the only remedy is to shoot the horse.
 
Old 01-15-2017, 01:00 PM
 
Location: TX
4,062 posts, read 5,645,484 times
Reputation: 4779
I've had to deal with the stubbornness in my DH about going to the doctor. You have to be strong and insistent. There are times when it's so important that you have to get pushy. My DH once went into sepsis because he insisted on waiting for his doctor's appointment later in the week even though he was running a fever and really ill. The morning of his appointment, he couldn't walk. I got him there, but he was sent to the ER, then to MICU. He was circling the drain, barely clinging to life. He finally survived, but with very serious problems...disabled and chronically ill since then. Long story, but it taught me something...when someone you love really needs medical care, you get pushy and find a way to get that done.
 
Old 01-15-2017, 01:05 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 21,971,957 times
Reputation: 15773
FYI, senior centers often have wheelchairs on loan for free, up to months at a time. Check it out.
 
Old 01-15-2017, 01:05 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,722 posts, read 16,372,564 times
Reputation: 50380
Quote:
Originally Posted by in_newengland View Post
He has finally agreed to let me call the doctor tomorrow. Now the pain has gone down to his feet and he is using the heating pad. I hope and pray I can get an appointment for him. Then the next step will be making sure he goes. I plan on talking to the nurse beforehand to alert them to what is going on and probably to get a wheelchair so he can get into the office.

I gave him a small lecture on how he should have gone months ago and I think he was feeling too weak to give me any lip back. Now he's saying he thinks he broke something. Could be--that fall he had when I told him he might have broken something but he kept saying he didn't.

No fever, no redness, his knee is probably still swollen but he's asleep covered up in blankets so I can't see.
I'm glad you've gotten him to go...but if he can't get an appt. tomorrow that is no reason to delay - go to urgent care or even the ER.

And again the eggshells - I hope you're saying you can't check to see if it is currently swollen just because you don't want to wake him, not because you can't even check on him.
 
Old 01-15-2017, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 21,971,957 times
Reputation: 15773
If the pain moves from hip down leg, could be sciatica. VERY painful.
Get diagnosis.
 
Old 01-15-2017, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN, USA
7,572 posts, read 9,020,411 times
Reputation: 17937
Tell him if he doesn't go willingly this really mean woman from MN - a former wrestler and built like a sumo wrestler - is going to come and drag him to the DR.

If this isn't taken care of it will only get worse. No trip for him to England.

 
Old 01-15-2017, 01:42 PM
 
13,754 posts, read 13,322,930 times
Reputation: 26025
Jeeez Umbria! I can't unsee that!

I'm really glad he's being agreeable. I sincerely hope he hasn't broken anything. Again, thank goodness he has you!
 
Old 01-15-2017, 01:46 PM
 
2,956 posts, read 2,342,936 times
Reputation: 6475
Father in law had high blood pressure. Wife and I told him that one simple pill would keep him alive and that if he ignored the high blood pressure his arteries could rupture or he could end up with organ damage as a result of ignoring the problem. Told him he ate way too much salt as well. He was also at least 100lbs over weight. I'm listing these here but in person we told him in a very caring way and explained it in a fashion that he would understand like a garden hose getting a leak or the stress the extra weight creates on the heart and circulatory system.

He ignore the advice. Kept eating canned and salty things and didn't try to manage his weight.

Year later he ended up with an aortic dissection which killed him. He had 3 days between the event and his death to make peace and he promised to start taking the meds to us but it was too late. Looking back on it, he had another couple of decades ahead of him but instead he died at 69 because he refused to take a stupid pill. He thought he knew more than doctors, nurses etc and didn't want to listen. Cost him his life.

Some people win the genetic lottery and can go without medical attention for almost their entire life. Most aren't so lucky and if you ignore the problems, they will ultimately catch up to you. Ignore medical science at your own peril. Try and realize you aren't the only life and your decisions and actions impact others that love you.

You can't force your husband to go, you can't for any adult to really do anything they don't want to do. Ultimately it is their decision and that makes things incredibly painful for those that have to watch them deal with the consequences of the decision.
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