Anyone get negative feedback upon retirement? (conversation, spouse, friendly, state)

[Clemencia53]

Originally Posted by shorman

Some people can't live without the social aspects of having a job. Others have built a persona around what they do for a living, once the job is gone their ego can't handle it.


Not once in my life have I ever gotten so bored that I wished I was at work. I would be suspicious of anyone that claimed working was better than being retired. Out of all the infinite possibilities the world has to offer, if the only thing you can come up with to fill your time is working a job, you must be one of the most unimaginative people in existence.

My sister is like that, but I guess she is just used to going back and forth daily. It is her only entertainment I guess. She likes her co-workers but hates her job or rather the people that she has to help. Which is weird to me. I can't remember (now of course) hating my job at all.

She is also married to a strange guy. She married late in life so I guess she feels she had to stick with it. I don't know. Kind of sad at times. But then that is her life not mine

[Serious Conversation]

With government retirees, there is often a level of resentment that private sector workers feel. I've seen, not only on these boards and the local boards, but some in real life, government retirees who come from rich areas like MA/CT/NYC/DC, etc., then retire to much poorer, lower cost areas. When you're 50-55, retired from government work in some rich state, and move to a cheaper area where most private sector workers are barely getting by, yeah, there can easily be some resentment there.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by tmbf57

So I have been retired for just about 1 month now and can say I am very much enjoying it. DH and I are night owls so we go to bed after midnight and wake up after 8 am. After 30 + years of getting up at 5 am for a 1 hour commute in terrible city traffic, I can say I don't miss that at all.

For now, we have been both enjoying some down time doing not much of anything at all, or catching up with household projects we previously had no time to do.

I have been surprised at the negativity from MANY people, including in my own family about having retired. I am about to turn 60, DH is about to turn 64. We are not rich by any means but we have a paid off home, I am a FERS Federal retiree and DH receives early SS and 2 small pensions.

I am pretty sick to death at hearing, "you'll get bored real soon" and "of course you are enjoying it, it's only been a month, wait a while and you will be dying to get back to work". This from my sister, a school teacher who has summers off and states that after the first month of summer she doesn't have enough to do. Also from a cousin, aged 56 who retired for 6 months and found she was bored out of her mind. Older friends and acquaintances have expressed surprise at my decision to retire now. "Why so young?" "You are going to get rusty", ect. Everyone is so negative!

I would think it was envy that we were able to pull this off. Truthfully, I am not the least bit interested in working, there is plenty at home to keep me busy, I have 2 grandchildren that I babysit about once or twice a week and I have yet to be able to get to the books that I had planned on reading. Sometimes I am happy just to sit around without any expectations or deadlines from anybody.

So, my question is, did anyone experience so much negativity from others when they retired? Were you constantly told what a terrible decision it was, how you would be bored, would experience a mental or physical decline or worse yet, experience mental health issues such as depression due to having retired.

Thanks in advance for all your feedback.

It's odd, but that is some people's perspective. I hear it and I did go back to work part-time. I went back to work part-time because I was offered a job that I didn't seek, and the money was good. I still had some debt that I was able to pay, but this way I am killing it faster.

But people have said that to me, "Oh, it's best you are working, you would get bored sitting home." Um no, I am never bored. There is a lot to do.

One thing I like to do is write, and in an article in a writing magazine, an editor told of a young man who was writing a story that included as a character a grandfather. He was depressed, and the editor commented that the author didn't give any information as to WHY the grandfather was depressed. The kid said, "Well, he's retired. He has nothing to do but sit around all day and no longer feels as though he has a purpose in life. I thought that was obvious."

Well...no.

[GearHeadDave]

Originally Posted by tmbf57

So I have been retired for just about 1 month now and can say I am very much enjoying it. DH and I are night owls so we go to bed after midnight and wake up after 8 am. After 30 + years of getting up at 5 am for a 1 hour commute in terrible city traffic, I can say I don't miss that at all.

For now, we have been both enjoying some down time doing not much of anything at all, or catching up with household projects we previously had no time to do.

I have been surprised at the negativity from MANY people, including in my own family about having retired. I am about to turn 60, DH is about to turn 64. We are not rich by any means but we have a paid off home, I am a FERS Federal retiree and DH receives early SS and 2 small pensions.

I am pretty sick to death at hearing, "you'll get bored real soon" and "of course you are enjoying it, it's only been a month, wait a while and you will be dying to get back to work". This from my sister, a school teacher who has summers off and states that after the first month of summer she doesn't have enough to do. Also from a cousin, aged 56 who retired for 6 months and found she was bored out of her mind. Older friends and acquaintances have expressed surprise at my decision to retire now. "Why so young?" "You are going to get rusty", ect. Everyone is so negative!

I would think it was envy that we were able to pull this off. Truthfully, I am not the least bit interested in working, there is plenty at home to keep me busy, I have 2 grandchildren that I babysit about once or twice a week and I have yet to be able to get to the books that I had planned on reading. Sometimes I am happy just to sit around without any expectations or deadlines from anybody.

So, my question is, did anyone experience so much negativity from others when they retired? Were you constantly told what a terrible decision it was, how you would be bored, would experience a mental or physical decline or worse yet, experience mental health issues such as depression due to having retired.

Thanks in advance for all your feedback.

I hear the same malarkey all the time in many cases it is just sour grapes. Of course for some people (the minority IMO) retirement could be boring. If you are a workaholic by nature and you have the sort of job where you are happily engaged at all times, why would you leave? But most jobs these days are grueling high stress marathons, it's not like the old days.

I also hear this stuff about "if you retire you will surely die within a year, I have seen it happen before". In most cases, that's because the person retiring knew either consciously or subconsciously that his/her days were numbered - we all have that instinct within us. So it is not surprising that happens from time to time.

[animalcrazy]

I haven't heard any negative feed back for retiring at 58. More like how did you do it One of my oldest bestie retired a couple of years ago and her husband will be retiring in June. He's about 55 I think. It's going to be a great summer. Our neighbors and good friends are retired. Him in his 40's and her at around 53. We all have a great time together. I love the freedom and don't miss roller skating on Friday mornings with the threat of working a double hanging over my head when I went to work after skating. I agree that you have to stay active and engaged. We were sick a lot last winter and it got tedious doing nothing. That's what we get for having a new 4 year old shorty in our life. Little cesspool of germs She's so much fun though. Retirement doesn't have to be boring if you're willing to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. Just keep having fun and make those negative Nelli's jealous.

[MagnoliaThunder]

My plan was to work two more years (I'm 66 in August) in order to build up my savings and 401k which I unfortunately had depleted. I wanted to begin drawing SS at FRA and live on that and bank my healthy salary for a couple of years.

That plan died a quick death when my supervisory job of 18 years was eliminated, and I was out of a job (thankfully a nice package accompanied my loss).

So, I found myself filing for SS early and joining the retired ranks earlier than planned. But I was actually quite relieved to no longer make the 1 hour commute back and from the city, and I was tired after working almost 50 years cumulatively.

So, did I receive any negative responses or reactions? Not at all - my friends are all mostly a little younger than me and every one, to a person, expressed happiness for me and that they wish they could already be retired too...we all feel young enough that we hope to have many years in retirement to enjoy life and go slow enough to smell the roses, which is what I am doing, among other things.

[Submariner]

I got my pension when I was 42. My mother was upset about it. She insisted that I was too young to retire. I was her youngest, so the idea that I was getting a pension was hard on her.

At that time my brother 'David' was still working. He is 7 years older than I am, he got his pension from the Modesto PD 5 years after I retired.

[MG120]

Originally Posted by shorman

Not once in my life have I ever gotten so bored that I wished I was at work. I would be suspicious of anyone that claimed working was better than being retired. Out of all the infinite possibilities the world has to offer, if the only thing you can come up with to fill your time is working a job, you must be one of the most unimaginative people in existence.

I resemble this comment

I got my first pension at 37, will get my second at 57(next year), and don't ever plan on working another day after that.

And I really don't care what anyone else thinks about us retiring in our mid-50's. We have so many things on our lists to accomplish we will probably be 70 before we know it and wonder were the time went. Well, it certainly won't be spent in an office worrying about staff issues, budgets, projects or anything else.

Besides, when I hear these sorts of things from others when they find out we are retiring early, I add them to the list of people I will call every once in a while and ask how the jobs going

[Perryinva]

Originally Posted by shorman

Some people can't live without the social aspects of having a job. Others have built a persona around what they do for a living, once the job is gone their ego can't handle it.


Not once in my life have I ever gotten so bored that I wished I was at work. I would be suspicious of anyone that claimed working was better than being retired. Out of all the infinite possibilities the world has to offer, if the only thing you can come up with to fill your time is working a job, you must be one of the most unimaginative people in existence.

While your first two statements are very true, your last paragraph is as presumptuous as the comments from the people referenced. Many people DO LOVE their jobs. Some jobs are so rewarding in so many ways, emotionally, physically, financially, and mentally that retirement is like taking away their best friends and toys.

Of course, that is the exception, more than the rule, by far, and while I greatly enjoy aspects of my job, I lnow I will enjoy retirement more.

In just my group, we have many returned retired contractors, and they all but one, came back for non financial "must work to make ends meet" reasons. I know two people who have somewhat similar jobs to mine at work, that came back to work very shortly after retirement.....one retired on a Friday and was back two Mondays later. Same job, contracting. I've known him for well over 20 years, and he lives a few blocks from me in a modest house. He is a devout man and donates what I would consider incredible amounts of money to mostly missionary and aid groups, and his church.

It is admirable and he and his wife want for nothing, IHHO, as he has a nice pension, and both he and his wife worked and will collect much higher than normal SS at FRA. So he saves a little for emergencies, but not to generate retirement income. He honestly would feel horrible at not doing something he enjoys, in order to probide significant financial support to his causes. We talked at length about this once because of a short session I had given on SS and the Tax Torpedo at work, that he missed and wanted to know more about. His only "vices", which I find humorous, is he and his wife hate to cook, and they eat out almost all the time, though never fast food, he loves golf and college sports. Talks about his teams all the time. I discussed why doesn't he save more so that he can have both a healthy nest egg, in case he needs it , and if he doesn't a significant bequest. His answer was that the needis now, and later WILL be too late for the lives he saves now! Very passionate about it, without being rightous in any way. They have taken most of his vacations as large contiguous ones where he and his wife are on mission trips. He is a FAR better person than I could ever be, when it comes to the number of people he helps and his generosity, and I admire him for that. Even a pang of good old Catholic guilt, for not doing more myself. Ironically, he had been audited often by the IRS, as he rarely pays any taxes thanks to his generous donations!

So there are plenty of people that don't work in meaningless, high stress, long commute jobs. Where retirement is an escape from instead of an evolution to something. I don't think anyone should HAVE to work at a job they hate, and I sure don't, but readily acknowledge that some are forced to because of circumstances.

[TheShadow]

Originally Posted by charlygal

Again, at retirement age, who gives a...you know what. Seriously, aren't you tired of dealing with other people's expectations and opinions? Ignore these people and live your life.

Two thumbs up to this post!