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The perfect answer for this can be found in a three word clip from the movie The Gauntlet. Sadly, I can't find it on YouTube, at least not by itself. Fans of the movie will know to what I refer.
I don't think a gender-bashing thread is any more appropriate here than it is in the relationships forum, where it is expressly prohibited. But that is the direction in which you pointed your OP. I think what I've already said is enough for now.
Just wondering what makes us do the things we do. Always wondering about that.
This conversation comes up a few times a week when I am out and about with my female friends and sibling.
The divorced and widowed ones say they can never imagine living with a man again.
The married ones can't wait until their hubbies take off for a few days or even hours.
I'm not officially attached and live with a roommate - but this morning I had to agree with them.
Always asking me questions from the other side of the house. I have to get up and go ask what?
Taking forever to get ready to leave. We don't go anywhere together, but I prefer to leave the house after he is gone. He will leave doors open etc. Very absent minded.
He does a lot around here so I try to overlook this but after being asked ten times if I want something to eat after I said no in person and in text (a record he can review), it just drives me batty!!
Do men get irritated with their women? How do y'all cope.
I really don't want to get mad at him since he does do a lot around here. Just be quiet - lol. Stop asking questions.
The greatest minds of the 20th and 21st century are unmarried or have broken marriages. That says something.
I have seen other studies that say the same as well.
Not to mention just using my own two eyes and common sense.
One of my criteria for relationships/marriage is that I could spend all week with someone (like on a vacation) and not want to run away or kill them.
That narrowed the pool to a fraction of a speck of people. Luckily, I found one.
This conversation comes up a few times a week when I am out and about with my female friends and sibling.
The divorced and widowed ones say they can never imagine living with a man again.
The married ones can't wait until their hubbies take off for a few days or even hours.
I'm not officially attached and live with a roommate - but this morning I had to agree with them.
Always asking me questions from the other side of the house. I have to get up and go ask what?
Taking forever to get ready to leave. We don't go anywhere together, but I prefer to leave the house after he is gone. He will leave doors open etc. Very absent minded.
He does a lot around here so I try to overlook this but after being asked ten times if I want something to eat after I said no in person and in text (a record he can review), it just drives me batty!!
Do men get irritated with their women? How do y'all cope.
I really don't want to get mad at him since he does do a lot around here. Just be quiet - lol. Stop asking questions.
Ha, ha, ha, you two sound like an old married couple. If it;s that bad why don;t you tell him to leave and find a more compatible roommate - assuming it is your house and you can do whatever you want. You could even rent your spare bedroom on Airbnb. This way you wont have the same person annoying you and you could have a break some days, since it's short term rental.
As for the first questions, yes, it is very, very difficult to live with someone. When you grow older each person becomes set in his/her own ways and living with another person might be very difficult, especially when there is a big difference in cleanliness, neatness and/or life styles.
I was married for 27 years, lived with my husband for 29, together for 30. He died almost five years ago and I have had no interest in meeting someone else or "looking". When you've been married a long time, you have a bond that transcends the day-to-day STUFF that drives us crazy. Life kind of hums along like a reliable car. It takes time to build that, and frankly, at 60+, I just don't feel like dealing with it. Nor do I feel like trying to conform to a standard of beauty that I never can. My husband accepted me and I accepted him and we got through the bad times. Sometimes it was difficult, but we got through them.
Now it seems like just too much effort, and at my age "age-appropriate" means like 60-70, and often that means dealing with health issues again. I've been widowed once. I don't want to go through it again.
I'm 59 and single and plan to stay that way. When I move to retire, I'll be moving by myself. If I want to go out and do something with someone, I have friends to do that with. I have no problem going to a restaurant by myself, cooking my own food and doing my own laundry and I prefer it that way.
I have no plans to ever go to bars or meet someone online. I'm used to doing things when I want to and how I want to. I wouldn't be happy otherwise especially at this point in my life. This may sound harsh and selfish or stupid but I like being alone most of the time and can enjoy my pets and hobbies and don't feel the need for a significant other.
I'm 59 and single and plan to stay that way. When I move to retire, I'll be moving by myself. If I want to go out and do something with someone, I have friends to do that with. I have no problem going to a restaurant by myself, cooking my own food and doing my own laundry and I prefer it that way.
I have no plans to ever go to bars or meet someone online. I'm used to doing things when I want to and how I want to. I wouldn't be happy otherwise especially at this point in my life. This may sound harsh and selfish or stupid but I like being alone most of the time and can enjoy my pets and hobbies and don't feel the need for a significant other.
Does not sound harsh at all. You know what you want!
To the people who wrote to me and said my situation sounded familiar,
There is a book written by the neurotypical (normal) wife of a man who is on the autism spectrum. It's called _The Aardvark's Wife_.
An intimate view into the life and challenges of an asperger's spouse. It seems some marriages are so wonderfully stellar you have to look away or be blinded. Others are typical and comfortable, never rising to celebrity status but supplying its partners with a contented existence. Then there are those marriages that become the subjects of books, and this is never a good thing. If you are in a happy marriage, please put this book down, and may God continue to bless you. However, if you sense your marriage is missing something you can't quite get a grasp on and if your spouse who is a shy, intelligent guy, but a little weird makes you wonder at times if you have stepped onto another planet; this is the book you've been searching for.
In a previous string people discussed whether they would seek re-marriage after their spouse' demise. As I recall, the consensus was no.
Most of the women did not want to become caretakers to another man with future failing health. I get that.
Many of the men were skeptical of women's motivations; avoiding gold diggers was a common theme. However, I'd say the same for men looking to gain access to a widow's wealth.
I think most people are happiest alone or perhaps with a pet. People prefer freedom and privacy.
As for me, if my wife suddenly died, I don't think I'd re-marry. I'd likely move to an apartment so I could live closer to my grand kids.
I'm 59 and single and plan to stay that way. When I move to retire, I'll be moving by myself. If I want to go out and do something with someone, I have friends to do that with. I have no problem going to a restaurant by myself, cooking my own food and doing my own laundry and I prefer it that way.
I have no plans to ever go to bars or meet someone online. I'm used to doing things when I want to and how I want to. I wouldn't be happy otherwise especially at this point in my life. This may sound harsh and selfish or stupid but I like being alone most of the time and can enjoy my pets and hobbies and don't feel the need for a significant other.
^^^^^^This. I am 59 also, single, very active, and appreciate the freedom to do as I please.
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